- he always wanted me to be in their house during weekends. I spent whole weekend playing with his niece (they called her EVERYTIME I came) from dusk to dawn. I barely saw him.
- whem I met his sister for the first time, she started to ask him how are his exgirlfriends doing (the more embarassing she is 30 years old).
- when we are spending time at his parents house (during weekend), she use to call him to sleep in her house to take care of her child in the morning as they want to leave and do not want to wake her up... She just does not care that he has a girlfriend in his house but what is worse, he does not care either and act as her doll.
- I want to go and study abroad, so we agreed to move to foreign country. BUT his sister and mother does not like it. It was an AGREEMENT between two of us but then he got home and after few hours called me and cried at me he is not going anywhere, as he has to help his father.
- his sister is using him as a babysitter, car rider, friend on the phone, girl for everything. Her father is giving her a lot of money but nobody except my boyfriend is helping him.
- he talks to me on the phone everyday, but barely spends time with me as he is lazy to RIDE A CAR for 30 minutes and is always making excuses that he has to help his parents, or that he has a soccer match, family meeting or other activities. He wants to be with me like all the time, but in his parents house.
I stopped begging him to spend more time with me, I just gave up, do not care anymore and I am slowly starting to look after somebody else. I think a boy like this can not be a FATHER as he is still a SON. I would like to set my own family but I do not know if it is possible with my boyfriend. Am I being overreactive or it is a matter of age or what?
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You sound like you just want an equal amount of time, or a LITTLE MORE TIME, spent with you, or each other as a couple, and that's not wrong. You don't mind the family time, but want more 'us' time. I think you should sit down with him, in person, and tell him what you want from your relationship and him. Having standards and needs and desires isn't a bad thing. First, ask him what HE wants, needs, and what his standards are, though. Then explain your own. If both of you don't match up, you either have to work toward doing so, or have to break it off. Otherwise, you'll just be unhappy and uncertain until something happens.
Yes you are absolutely right, I think to ask for an equal amount of time as we are 24 and 25, not a teenagers, two persons who are thinking about setting a family is a normal need. I told him that if he wants to spend more time with his family, helping his sister to grow up children, I will not be angry, If that is what he wants I am ok with it but then we have to break up. He said he wants to stay with me. but this is always the same problem from different sides. I do not know if this changes with age or he just remain the same.
I can't say if it will change with age because I haven't witnessed such a thing, being so young in life. I can say, if he does not actively work to spend more time with you, and make you as important of a priority as your family, then he does not sound like he is ready for the same level of commitment as you are.