In your marriage, do you want the woman to take the man's last name? & Do you expect the man to be the primary breadwinner? (Page 2)
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I won't be taking my partners last name if we get married. His last name is a double banger and I don't want two last names. We also have discussed that if we have children we only want them to have one last name (his decision as he didn't like growing up with two). So the children would probably end up with my last name so that he wouldn't have to pick between his mums and dads
I posted before seeing this, and this is what everyone needs to think about when choosing a last name. It's not about you but future generations. If a party is having trouble deciding think what name sounds more presidential.
Thanks. I don't know why all the down votes
I believe its because if your perspective and what you have witnessed differed from what others believe is right or wrong, people feel attached, and don't want to hear what you have to say. People can't take a perspective as just that, a perspective, and use it to grow one's own self while trying to understand what others might be going through.
I would like to be the primary breadwinner, and I would want to keep my name, but if it was important to my SO I wouldn't have a problem with changing my name. It's just saying he's a part of me now, which would be true.
Being the primary breadwinner and taking his last name is like doing an entire project all by yourself and then putting someone else's name on it
a meaningful relationship is not a 'project'
It's called an analogy https://literarydevices.net/analogy/
I'm aware. I just disagree. That analogy is implying by taking his name, me being the breadwinner goes to dust. I don't see why it's important in the first place. Nobody makes a big deal if the guy is the breadwinner, it's normal, why is the girl being the breadwinner something that needs to be highlighted/spotlighted, and why is it any reason to not want to take a name? Traditionally, yes the name was taken because they are the head of the household, however we do not live in those times anymore, therefore that stereotypical association is irrelevant. Now taking a name just means we are of the same family, we are a collective, I'm a part of you etc
So why can't he take yours? Why is he entitled to his name being the household name?
never said he's entitled, with men biologically they want to carry on the family name, they care about that stuff, and if my SO cares, why not? I personally don't. I would name my daughter after myself just like fathers name their sons after themselves, it's not about entitlement.
The men in the family can be traced back hundreds of years based in their names and Y DNA. Women don’t have that type of DNA and cannot be traced that way and their names have all been different. If you want people to be able to do ancestry work, use the males last name.
Most women don’t want to have to go through the legal trouble if they end up divorcing the man and reverting back to their maiden name, it’s not a question of DNA.
@Ninjazzed I understand your point but it really doesn’t have an impact on this.
It does actually, because more and more women are actually preferring not to go through with marriage or change their last name because of this.. So it very much applies.
Women are to take the last name to show they are part of the mans family. They are not to be working outside the home so obviously they can't be the breadwinner. A womans role is to be obedient and if she can't obey her husband she ought to remain single and unmarried.
Nowadays women also working they are also breadwinner , then why should they become obedient to husband. Why not equally. It's all about society where we live , but India it's really different.
@adom_1 well if they are such good workers they shouldn't be married. Only a trash man would marry a woman like that like a materialistic immoral man or a lazy gold digger man. They are just out for money.
There is no such thing as equal. How does that even work? Its sounds great but I've never seen it work in action. Sounds like a mythical unicorn.
The "virtuous woman" in Proverbs 31 has a job
No she does not. She manages the household affairs of a wealthy politician. I have a similar position, if i hand my wife $20,000 to deposit on the way to the grocery store that does not make her a business woman. Nor if i tell her to pick up some papers at an attorney's office as an errand.
Prov 31:16 "out of ****her earnings**** she plants a vineyard."
Do you mean to say that his earnings are her earnings? That's pretty cool.
*Prov 31:16 "[...]out of ****her earnings**** she plants a vineyard."
Women can do what the hell they want, it’s 2020 for Christ’s sake. Geez, you’re delusional.
If she’s independent and carrying her own weight, then why should she be obedient? She doesn’t have to answer to anybody.. the gesture should be reciprocated. Never understood why men always feel so entitled to take advantage of women and their bodies. What a shame, even now there’s still such a lack of respect.
And you’re exactly implying that men shouldn’t expect women to be self-sufficient or attain goals for themselves.. Unless you’re joking, please take your bullshit elsewhere.
You have a very distorted perspective of marriage.. women are just as independent as men, marriage is a choice.. not a requirement. You think marriage is pointless unless the woman is a veggie and has no other direction in life other than to please a man. Marriage is for love, not sex or monetary gain. The sex and money is beneficial, sure.. but it cultivates marriage for a short time.. loveless marriage is short-lived and will never last.
@Ninjazzed I actually wouldn't mind submitting to the leadership of a man who emulates Christ in his authority, as is commanded in the Bible (Eph 5:25-30).
Christ never made selfish demands; Christ's commands were all for the benefit of his people, and he promised to repay (up to hundredfold) everything that his people did for him (Mark 10:29-30).
Christ said he came to serve, not be served (Matt 20:25-28). Christ led with selfless love:
"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Cor 13)
But somehow I doubt that Bames Jond is that sort of leader.
You can earn money without having a job. Why dont you tell me what her job is? It clearly states she helps manage her wealthy political husbands affairs. That is not a job. That is what any good wife does. Like i said, depositing $20,000 vs $200 does not make it a job. Nor does buying land on my behalf vs stopping by a used car dealership to buy a car for the family make her a business woman. Im wealthy and if i marry a woman it doesn't instantly make her an independent career woman. Smh
"18She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night[...]
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes."
She's involved in trades, making and selling clothes.
@mistixs is right. She has her own hustle.
@Jamie05rhs @mistixs making some clothes at night is not a job. It specifically says in 18 she stays up at night, that being the most likely time she's doing such things as it also says 27 she looks well to the ways of her household... so one would assume she hasn't pawned her kids off on others and ignores them if she is so great. Lets not forget, 23 her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. An elder of a city of that day is about equivalent to a city councilman who typically owned vast property holdings. So lets take the evidence... she works at night after the kids are in bed, makes some clothes on her own (does not have a boss), has a well to do husband... this reminds me in todays terms of a rich mans wife who sells items on etsy. That is not a job, that is more a hobby. Better to not be idle and make a few bucks than sit on a couch and eat bon bons and ordering junk off tv. That i agree with. My girlfriend takes old furniture and sells it and buys great deals on new furniture and so she makes a few dollars here and there while constantly getting us better things for the house. THIS IS NOT A JOB. It is in addition to cooking 3 meals a day and keeping a clean house. I am glad my girlfriend understands proverbs 31. Because nowhere does it say "she never watches her children because they are watched by others. She does not obey her husband because she obeys her boss. Her virtue is her ambition to get a promotion at work."
@bamesjond0069 It very much is a job. Do you have something against women working? Or do you just not appreciate the work they do?
@Jamie05rhs women cooking and cleaning is working. Of course they can work. Try again. We are talking about having a typical work outside the home job, in which the virtuous woman has nothing of the sort.
@bamesjond0069 Your definition of virtue is skewed.
@Jamie05rhs how so? Nowhere in the bible does it say a woman should bust her butt 50 hours a week to get promotions and obey a boss. It does however say a man is to provide for his wife and a wife is to obey her husband. That is clear as day. And most godly husbands who are capable providers and who lead, will lead their woman to not have a job outside the home away from the kids and to obey another man as her boss. That just makes me sick thinking about some other man bossing my girlfriend around and her working hours convenient for her job over convenient for her family. Thats just terrible.
Who said anything about 50 hours or promotions. Nobody these days (male or female) gets a promotion anyway, unless they work in a white-collar job and stay at the same company for 10 years or more.
Point 2: her boss (if she works for someone else) isn't necessarily going to be a man. But if he is, what does it matter? As long as he isn't a Harvey Weinstein.
Thirdly, not all women want to have children, so taking care of the kids might not be a factor.
@Jamie05rhs if she isn't having kids like God commands, why does she care about what a virtuous woman is, and why would she care about marriage which is a promise before God to have kids and be a family?
@bamesjond0069. Where does it say that married people have to have kids? I know of no such verse.
@Jamie05rhs Gen 1:28 "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth..."
Pretty sure God wants more to follow him instead of less. Where does it make you believe its ok to be selfish and have no children and help bring about the extinction of man?
Not everybody intends to bring children into their marriage, get over it.
@Ninjazzed thats fine. But lets not pretend that woman is the virtuous woman from the bible. If you don't believe in God just do anything you want, why take any last name when you can make something up? Why even have a breadwinner when you can live in a polyamorous household. Anything goes. Do handstands naked all day. If you have no morals just do whatever. Whats the point of even asking the question? As a religious man and one with common sense, i would expect a wife to take my last name. I also would expect to be the breadwinner since i make over 200k per year and I've never met a woman who was single and under 25 who even made 100k so her earnings are irrelevant and id expect her to take over the household duties.
@bamesjond0069 That was Adam and Eve, dawg. That was back when there were only 2 people on the entire planet. Context is everything. Now the world is full, so God's commandment has been fulfilled. We don't need to make any more people.
Also, LMFAO; man isn't going extinct anytime soon, except maybe as a result of the effects of climate change.
"I'd expect her to take over the household duties."
@bamesjond0069 Do you think since you make more money than your wife that you can just dictate to her what she does?
@Jamie05rhs yes because women are to obey their husbands and husbands are supposed to do whats in his wifes best interests and living in a pigsty to make a measly amount of money is not in her best interest.
@Jamie05rhs its obviously not for just Adam and Eve or else they failed miserably! Its taken tons of generations fulfilling Gods wishes to get us here.
@bamesjond0069 And we're here. Mission accomplished.
And who said anything about living in a pigsty?
@Jamie05rhs ok so she can work and be responsible for the household chores. Seems like too much but if she's a workaholic and does nothing else it seems possible.
There are plenty of single women under 25 that make 6 figures, and at least twice that you do lol students that go to four-year universities can do that lmao
It seems that whenever men find religion, they feel entitled to every woman on earth lmao
@Ninjazzed lmao no most people with 4 year degrees work at places like starbucks or paper pushers at corporations making $30k. What a joke.
Then they’re most likely students working part-time or graduates lacking a portfolio and/or proper job experience, so of course it would be an issue for them lmao. A four-year degree without experience is useless, no shit lol.
I feel sorry for anybody unfortunate enough to be stuck as a Starbucks barista.. that’s a rough position to be in and it isn’t worth the violent craze that’s been stirring recently.
@Ninjazzed im curious if you even live in the world? Most people, including those with college degrees, never make more than about $45,000 a year in their life. You're dreaming.
@Ninjazzed well they should get a real job. I didn't need a degree to make the money i did.
The question is.. what solar system do you live in, buddy? Did I strike a nerve?
Because you still seem to love spouting your immoral, misogynistic rhetoric in a modern society where it’s unnecessary lol yet you’re a devout “Christian” and a blissfully ignorant one at that.
You’re up in arms over women doing what they please because it goes against your bible-thumper logic.
You’re most likely doing grunt work or extreme manual labor that requires tremendous amounts of manpower.
Sure, I mean you CAN be stupid about it and work unreliable blue-collar jobs that won’t work in your favor by the time you hit your old age.. no job security, no retirement.. but that doesn’t mean you SHOULD go that route. Everybody has their own process.
That’s the only way to make that type of money without a degree. Guess nobody told you to “work smarter, not harder” in school lol. Vocational work and experience will only get you so far. It’s good to put on a resume but you’ll be easily replaceable without a degree or certification of some sort.
It depends on the degree and occupation, no you don’t have to go to a university.. you can start out at a technical/community college or an accredited 2-year program and can transfer later to save money.
@bamesjond I find it quite humorous that you assume that just because a woman has a job that she lives in a pigsty. You're implying that she doesn't know how to keep her house clean. Are you aware that most women in America our age are single? And a lot of them have their own apartments and are doing just fine. And obviously they know how to keep their homes clean, because otherwise they would be evicted. I mean, it's really not that hard. We men have to clean as well.
@Ninjazzed no i invented something and sold it to a big company and then invested every penny of what they paid me and now i live off the investment earnings and continue to invest more and more of it back into additional investments. Im actually really good at it too I've found out and am beating the industry average of return by more than double.
@Jamie05rhs most of them are single because they have their own apartments. My girlfriend is not single nor does she have her own apartment. Strange how that works.
@Ninjazzed i mean if you are a Christian you should read the bible. Women are to obey their husbands. But even common sense, if a woman wants me to take her on fancy vacations and let her live in my nice home and go on my boats and motorcycles and 4 wheelers and other toys i expect her to obey me... duh. Id be retarded if i spent time money and effort on someone who disrespects me and has nothing to offer me.
@bamesjond0069 Where does your girlfriend live?
@Jamie05rhs nunya business. Wherever i tell her to.
@bamesjond0069 Ahahahahahahahahahaha!
You just got busted, sir!
You're living with your girlfriend before marriage. So much for all that talk about following the Bible.
@mistixs Look at this s***.
@Jamie05rhs no i am not actually.
No.. I’m not a Christian, therefore that ideology doesn’t apply to me. Project your Christian values to someone—namely a Christian woman, who also shares them all the same.
You shacked up with someone before marriage? Last time I checked THAT is a big, BIG sinny sin sin.
And don’t confuse a woman’s relationship status with their desired lifestyle.. just because they have their own apartment doesn’t necessarily mean that they choose to be single, it’s because they need a place to live lmao. Some choose to be single and independent to gain stability and avoid being fucked over time after time.. my god, you haven’t caught on yet? It’s like trying to communicate with a brick wall!
You forget that not every woman is going to expect you to offer them the world to fit their desired lifestyle because.. believe it or not—they're more than capable of earning those lavish assets and amenities themselves.. Partners/spouses are optional, not a requirement. And copious amounts of wealth isn’t a prerequisite for marriage. People marry because they want to be legally binded to the other person, why the hell they would want to be is beyond me.. if I love them deeply then nothing will separate me from them so easily.
It’s better to have a career, a career won’t walk out on you.. a career won’t wake up the next day with different feelings/mixed emotions and decides it doesn’t love you anymore.
@Ninjazzed "Partners/spouses are optional, not a requirement." This is the attitude of someone who doesn't put their relationship first and who will drop everything the second its not convenient or fun any more.
"People marry because they want to be legally binded to the other person..." this is why I would never marry an atheist. Marriage had nothing to do with laws. In fact you can be married without legally getting married. This is what my girlfriend and I intend to do. Marriage is commitment and God. Nothing else is required.
"It’s better to have a career, a career won’t walk out on you..." This attitude basically ensures the next man will definitely walk out on you. Its a self fulfilling prophecy.
@bamesjond0069 Is car insurance a self-fulfilling prophecy? Because most people with insurance still try to drive safely in order to keep their rates low.
@Jamie05rhs huh? Its not equivalent. You aren't completely changing your life around to have insurance. Men dump girls who aren't wifey material cook clean be sweet so by being not that stuff in order to focus on a career it ensures a man will dump you before you get too serious.
@Ninjazzed I have no idea why we aren't friends, because I agree with mostly everything you say.
However, I do have to point out that even a career isn't guaranteed. "a career won’t wake up the next day with different feelings/mixed emotions and decides it doesn’t love you anymore.". Sometimes they do. Look at those manufacturing companies that closed up shop and laid off all of their workers, and then they shipped the jobs overseas or down to Mexico. That affects men and women. And sometimes it's unpredictable and you can't even see it coming. That is why I support the new US-Mexico-Canada trade agreement, because at least it's better than NAFTA.
A career ensures stability, and is essential to supporting one’s self.. that’s fairly unanimous knowledge, no?
@Ninjazzed why would a woman support herself? doesn't she want to be a mom? How she going to have time to cook meals for the family, clean the house and care for the kids? It seems really unfair to expect her to do all that AND support herself.
@Jamie05rhs I agree. But, a career is something that you can establish for yourself.. it’s something that nobody can take away from you. Nobody can pry a skill set or an education from my cold, dead hands..
I mean.. this guy is obviously either delusional or in denial.. and as we all know, there is no greater demographic of the mentally ill than the Christian community.
This guy expects gender roles to reinforce themselves and expects women to dilly dally until a random man comes along to sweep them off their feet due to his own blind allegiance religious dogma. Its 2020, hell I thought we were past this, but apparently I stand corrected.
Some people will remain single and celibate for the rest of their lives without a regret, does this fact bother you? You really need to grasp that not everyone’s beliefs align with your own.
Marriage is a social construct, like it or not lol
Women don’t have to be “wifey material” just like you wouldn’t expect men to live up to that double standard and be “husband material” because I can assure you that not every woman desires marriage or relationships.. some people are asexual.. like I said, get over it.
@Ninjazzed well if you dont prepare to be swept then it will never happen. Thats my point, if you are afraid it won't happen so you get a career then you ensure it never will happen because men like me who expect to support a woman will never even look at you.
I mean a woman who knows how to run a home, who is 18 and a virgin and not fat could easily get a 6ft tall millionaire to sweep her off her feet. A 25 chunky human resources officer who lives off ramen and eating out and had 10 or more men would never in a million years get the same man.
No? What if she doesn’t? What if she’s infertile? What if she just wants to build a fulfilling life for herself?
Not every woman has the desire to be a mother? Just like not every man desires to be a father?
Not every man wants to support a woman, most men nowadays are just as selfish and repulsive.. they don’t want to support a woman, they want someone they can canoodle then off they go. Gone without a trace! This generation isn’t that simple.
Women don’t exist for men, and vice versa.
Good luck finding a skinny 18-year old virgin, pal lol
A partner doesn’t define who you are or your success. They can help/support you and give you encouragement, but having one doesn’t make you any more or less successful than someone without.
@Ninjazzed no man wants to support a woman with a career. What do i care what EVERYONE wants to do? I just see women bitching about men dont want to pay for them, men dont want to commit to fuck just them, men dont want to marry them. Well duh. Of course no man who is highly attractive to women wants to do any of that stuff to someone who isn't worth it in our opinion. Literally just had a girl yell at me and my girlfriend because i pumped and dumped her a few years back and now i have made another girl my girlfriend. Well she's a workaholic party girl work hard play hard. No shit i dont want to commit to her, my girlfriend is very sweet homemaker type. Too bad so sad. This isn't the first girl who freaked on me before over this stuff. Its just funny some girls get it and some dont. I never say dont do whatever you want, just dont expect any man desirable by majority of women to touch you with a 10ft pole if you wouldn't take his name when y'all get married. Thats my point.
One of the biggest gaslights in history is men convincing women that marriage benefits us. 🙄
She got mad because you’re a whore lol
@Ninjazzed lol wtf? No man even wants to get married so why would we convince you to want to get married? Did you fall on your head?
Me keeping my last name isn’t a deal breaker.. I don't know about you but my future husband is signing a prenup.
If he isn’t paying my bills then I’m not dropping everything to settle to be a sloppy and lazy homebody with no motive or ambition lol. JS. You want women to be incubators and servants and nothing else.. I feel sorry for any woman unlucky enough to be stuck with you.
You can do all the right things and still get cheated on. Cheating isn’t something I tolerate and shouldn’t be socially acceptable.
You shouldn’t try to justify your internalized misogyny with religion either.
To be honest, if the expectations are not met, then people need to break up, not ignore them and rush into marriage or cheat.
If they aren’t consistent with their word? Break up.
Your partner is not sexually compatible with you? Break up.
You expected a person to do X or Y at home, assuming the other person is not providing monetarily, then work things out or break up.
Men are really bad about breaking off their current relationship before they try to venture off into another.. Why is the option cheating? Cheating is not going to fix what you're missing from the relationship, just get a different one.
@Ninjazzed who is cheating? Did that even come up? Hows it related to what were talking about?
So I’m assuming you just pulled that out of your ass for not reason, right?
Cheating has become the norm, which further elicits my point as to why marriage has declined..
You wouldn’t want the double standard flipped on you lol because I highly doubt that you’re a ripped, rich, 6’2” tall dude with a 10-inch penis.
@Ninjazzed well i am actually rich and ripped, im only 5'10" with a not quite 10" penis but its clearly bigger than average I used to work in porn in college actually. I seem to meet most girls standards though. I really enjoy and benefit from the double standards that exist. If I couldn't in return get what I want I probably wouldn't bother working so hard to be wealthy and physically fit or attentive to women tbh. But by doing those things I greatly increase my access to better women and so I do them and I feel good doing them, I like being strong and wealthy and known as a romantic man. It just sucks like when I look around and according to my standards 99% of women are total shit. All my exs are insanely awesome so I always just wait and wait and wait until the next decent girl comes along.
Well I probably would keep it up but just give up relationships and pump and dump hos all day. That is what I did when I was younger. I would go on a date and just try to fuck and literally every girl would spread her legs and then I would just keep fucking her until she annoyed me and I would tell her to hit the road.
Then you most likely won’t attract any decent women, ripped or not, because you’re obviously a fresh host for disease.. nobody wants to fuck an STD-infested dick lol.
You did it when you were younger because you were young and dumb lol that’s what all teenagers do
Being full of yourself isn’t attractive either, don’t get confused with your current market value lol.
You’re not self-depreciating in the slightest and the respect for said “girls” clearly isn’t there.. toxic masculinity isn’t going to land you a date.
@Ninjazzed wym? What you call toxic masculinity is the only thing that lands me dates. This is what is so funny and why men say girls dont even know what they want. I literally tell girls they are just a silly girl make me a sandwich and then they want to have sex or date me. If i try to be nice and pay attention to them it never works at all even though im good looking. y'all are just so dumb. The most attractive thing to women is "toxic" masculinity. What a joke.
I’m dumb because you’re clearly an arrogant meathead with no concept of boundaries? Ok lol duly noted. 👌🏻
I've known dudes who experienced having a father in his life and upbringing, and ones who didn't, and both had sexist ideas of women and treated them horribly. To me it seems like the real problem is toxic masculinity being taught by and perpetuated by men themselves. Pull your head out of your ass.
You’re only nice and decent-mannered whenever you feel entitled to a pussy lol and men like you wonder why kindness never gets them anywhere. Oh, the irony.
There’s no correlation between indecisive/selective, dipshit.. lol it seems you’re a little confused here.
@Ninjazzed "... toxic masculinity being taught by and perpetuated by women..." i fixed it for you. I behave in the way that rewards me the most. Women sleep with me when i behave how i behave. So how i am is learned behavior from women.
“Y’all” isn’t even proper grammar, by the way. Wow, you’re really too dumb to be calling anybody dumb, bumpkin lmao.
“I behave in the way that rewards me the most” So in other words, you’re a selfish piece of shit. Explains a lot.
Nope, but since we're making up statistics based on nothing, here's mine: toxic masculinity comes 85% from households where there is a present father and it spreads like a goddamn disease.
If men would actually step up and raise their own kids, we wouldn't have this problem in the first place.
“I behave in the way that rewards me the most”
Yeah, you only proved my point.
The issue lies with the men and media perpetuating toxic sterotypes, because these boys don't have direct or consistent positive male influence and instead only see whats on TV and the very loud negative influences from boys at school and such. Its a valid point, but made in a shitty way that blames women.
What really needs to happen is a cultural change in how men present their masculinity, then if a man only had females in his life, he wouldn't end up with these short comings.
So, let's disregard the fact that single mothers have brothers, fathers, boyfriends, fiances, friends, etc. We have 43% of boys being raised by their mothers (who have no men around them at all) who are going to school and 80% of boys are being taught by women (and there are no men in those schools). Can someone who knows math figure out how many of these poor boys are actually being tortured by having absolutely no male influence in their poor lives?
With a lack of appropriate and accurate masculinity, boys tend to overcompensate and as such, look to tv/other media to see sensational, repugnant versions.
@Ninjazzed What about a happy medium? How about not "support"ing a woman or "canoodling" her? What's wrong with that?
@Ninjazzed huh. You wrote a lot but didn't explain anything. If y'all women keep fucking men who are very masculine men will keep being very masculine. That simple.
Nope, you obviously didn’t take anything from it, not a surprise anyway considering how close-minded you’ve already proven yourself to be. We won’t stop fucking masculine men but we’ll sure stop fucking stupid ones, much like yourself, to prevent contaminating the gene pool.
Never said we’d ever stop fucking masculine men, if you (you clearly don’t) don’t know the difference between “toxic” masculinity and hypermasculinity then you are the problem.
@Jamie05rhs A happy medium would be wonderful but so rare to find anyone that’s actually satisfied with a happy medium alone lol
@Ninjazzed if im so toxic masculine why so so many girls want to date me?
I want a woman who makes more money than me. I'll just work to surprise her with gifts and stuff. I think it's sexy if the woman makes more money. I'll just be her love slave or whatever, try to anyway.
My last name's already hyphenated, so no. Lol, I'd rather just take his. In terms of being the breadwinner, I'm in healthcare making six figures, and I don't want to date anyone in my field. So odds of me making more than him is pretty up there, which is fine (I'd probably have more debt than him anyway). So no, he doesn't need to be the breadwinner. He needs to be secure if I'm making more than him.
I don't really care about the name thing tbh and I think the entire 'the man is the breadwinner' is pure bullshit. I can perfectly take care of myself, so I don't see why that would change if I married someone🤷🏻♀️
I will never take any other name after marriage as for me it’s an old tradition that doesn’t have any reason to exist today. I don’t care who pay the bills more. I am just sure I have to be money independent even if I am in a relationship.
I wouldn’t take the last name but yes the man should be the primary breadwinner. I mean women have to get pregnant and give birth to children and then take care of them so sometimes it isn’t always possible for a woman to work all her life.
I left that decision to my wife, and she chose to take my last name. We've alternated from time to time who makes more money, with her currently bringing in more after re-structuring of her job resulted in a large raise about a year ago.
I took my husband's last name, but kept my maiden name as a middle name.
Amazingly, I've sort of become the primary breadwinner. Not the plan, just, my career is doing a lot better than my husband's
Look when I got married it was never thought.
But I would have done it.
My reason is her last name was cool sounding, easier to spell, 10 letters less then my name, her name sounds Amish decent.
So yeah for coolness
I am completely in support of women who want careers and everything that once was only available to men. But for me personally, a more "traditional" marriage and house is a better fit.
Men are designed to be the bread winners of their family so they should just keep doing that. However, I believe women should also contribute to the family expenses but certainly not as much as the man... taking the man's last name is basically a norm where I come from ( hyphenation is allowed though as long as both parties agree to it)
Neither time we married (we're on our second marriage to each other) did she take my name. One I don't find it that big of a deal, and two her first and last name would rhyme and that's just too cutesy.
My last name is very common, and very boring. I'd strongly consider taking my spouse's name if I got married, especially if they asked
I'm also fine with hyphenating our last names, both of us keeping our own last names, or my parnter taking mine. I really don't care one way or another.
My mom has not my father's last name and he's always been the primary breadwinner. He's not bothered by it. It's just a matter of talking through that.
I want my husband to take my last name and neither will be a primary breadwinner, we both will work so.
I want to keep my last name so a hyphenation would be the best solution. We'd both be the breadwinners.
Hyphenation for both of us and I would want to be the primary breadwinner but it wouldn't be compulsory (especially as she is likely to be older than me)