😂😂 My sister did the same thing except she created the email address 2 months before the wedding. She even got upset when we sent her emails on her old emal lol
Finally someone understands!
If I could like this comment a million times I would finally a woman who has the understanding of marriage
I just don't like the way it sounds with my first name. His last name is Tverdokhlebov. I'm marrying a Russian
Then bear it at least he got to have another name
The annoying thing about many of the opinions on this question from the girls... is the talk about "I like my last name more than his" or "I don't like his last name"That's not the point! 🙄The point is the symbolism of being joint.
Well, if it's making a new family why not picking some brand new surname for both sides? Why only one have to change identity? I have nothing against people who goes with traditional way, or any other, it's their life and decision. I just don't understand the reasoning behind it.
@Ceins The symbolism is about taking the man's lead into their future together (and the man's name as well)
@Prof_Don I know the symbolism. It just made more sense in the past, when women really didn't have much control of their lives and they needed to be someones daughters, sisters and wifes. In modern times, when a lot of things are changing - we have homosexual marriages for example - we can let go of some symbols.
@Ceins Yes times have changed, so every woman has a choice in this matter. But not with me. She can take her progressive familial views elsewhere, without me as her partner.I'm liberal in many ways in society, but in terms of family and raising kids, I am definitely a traditionalist. Not into this "re-inventing-the-wheel" stuff when it comes to family, that modern society keeps trying to muddy up.The decay in society is obvious. Coincides perfectly in sync with the standards of families becoming "alternative", and leaning away from "traditional".
@Prof_Don Well, I don't think you will ever get to the point of engaging with woman who doesn't want to change her surname. That's not the thing you discuss right before taking out the ring, but before. Like I said, I have no problem with people who have it the old way. We have a choice today and thats great. Only the reasoning is outdated, but if someone believes in those values then I don't see why one should stop. Try to understand the other side too, and don't see it as something negative.
@Ceins I've been with my girlfriend for 9 months; and last month we had a talk about this topic on this question. Why? Because i'm in my 30s and I'm not into wasting time.
@Prof_Don That's what I'm talking about :P
I had a teacher in 8th grade that had a hyphenated name, and made her kids have hyphen'd names as well. Annoying as all hell to write out.
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
I went with the professionally, keeping my maiden name, everywhere else, husband's last name... It's worked well for me !!!
Or get married by an officiant, groom keeps her name and he gets to name their kids lol let's get conventional
@bleh012 so we go skip past the the proposal are ring part?
Opinion owner... She's 30 and single and still being rebellious
@Opinion owner proposal included, i never got why the female need engagement ring unless it's some assurance lol@djaaay you trolling me... You rebelling to female equality, you want to protect your assets and pass them down to your sons while your poor daughters get nothing? How bigot of you
Ble.. ho12. ... I was only being sarcastic on my opinion. None of it is true. Just calm down and stop taking it personal.
Yea right, you were trolling, me calm down and not take it personal? HA sarcastic or not, still not cool and you seem to not realize why I'm triggered by this like you never been triggered psh
@bleh012 you're one angry person 😂😂 You need to chill.
I am a angry person, your so called sarcastic remark still wrong and provoked me..."oh let's say what we think and if women get mad, we can say it's sarcasm har har har"
@bleh012 I wasn't being sarcastic. I was laughing at you because you're an angry bitter lady.
@bleh0..12. Your triggered because you are the sexist , not men.
Why does the fact that I don't want to change my last name means that I don't like men? It sounds really stupid when you think about it
@aaaaabbbbb Where did I say you don't like men? Pretty sure I didn't say that at all.
Sorry, didn't read correctly... I still don't understand why do I have to change my last name? I don't belong to a man.
@aaaaabbbbb I didn't say you have to change your last name either, nor did I say that you or any other woman belongs to a man.But I will say that the fact you think taking a man's last name is somehow tantamount to him "owning you" is exactly the mindset I was referring to, and as a man you could not pay me enough to marry a woman like that.
Spot on guy...
@Djaaay Thanks bro.
... and nonsense. If he was female, does that mean she would hate men and goes against his belief? Oh the double standard. Those who agree because you think she has to, are you putting your family 1st and your wife second? Sorry I'm babbling whatever, I'm just pissed about some guys here being sexist.
If i ever get married, I'll pick a man who is open for discussion about the last name but I'll also consider if we have kids in the future, kids' names being part of the negotiation too. Or we could split if we go traditional - woman take his last name and man let woman name the kids. I don't hate the idea of taking his last name but it's not mandatory either, if I'm getting married, I'm making my own family with him and he is before my old family so my future husband should not make his family name be on top of his wife if he is marrying her, he's becoming a new family with her. It would be fun to make a new name though lol i even consider bleh...
... or yaaaas or rule or toki, doze, chinecolle, badabing, wae, kong, bang...
No woman gets my name except my sons only.
Sure about that ?
Up to you and your wife, if i was married, he and i will discuss about our last name together and our kids having the same too since we are a family until the kids grow up and if they get married, they can choose with their spouse
I think men being openminded and being ok with women taking their name was a spin on gender equality, saying women have a right on a last name too because they count and have rights
Family unit , but not if you don't take the name. No next to kin , no inheritance either , no marriage or divorce. Leave with what you came with more or less
So if I married you and you took your name , who's name does your children get?
You mean if you married a woman who kept her name, y'all could look up laws on inheritance and decide
Or i marry a man and i kept my name, he and i look up laws regarding inheritance
Or drawing up a will to leave property for kids
Thanks for the tip, i didn't know if it only comes from the father's name
Why is it that you'd be entitled to my inheritance or the decision for my will. Only your stuff could you do that with , not mine.
If I'm the one with everything to began with , how does it become yours all of a sudden?
Again, not me but whoever your wife is. Don't know why I'm discussing this with you when it's a matter of my future husband and i if i do get married, we are not married to each other nor will we so stop arguing with me when this matter is not about us 2 strangers, gees
Again, I'm not married or getting married to you, decide that with your sorry wife
And just stay single, you want everything to yourself so you ain't ready for marriage material, marriage isn't about who gets what goshdangit
I was being hypothetical in a true life scenario. I'm happily married already. My wife is not sorry and she's also on gag a well. What's interesting tho , is that you feel as if you have to regulate your husband's best interest , starting with name placements. In other words , you want him to wear the pants , but you want to control the zipper. Good luck with your self...
Even you were hypothetical, still don't mean us getting married regardless. Me regulate my husband's best interest and in being gender roles? Lol omg gees louise, oh no, i don't have a dick to own everything, what will i do
Would you hyphenate your last name with his?
@Prof_Don I never thought about that. That may actually be a better compromise. But like I said, I'm indifferent on the subject.
Yes She is going to be part of a family And last name is only used to tell what family she belongsIn a very positive and powerful way...
Lol. I love how in all your posts you're just like, nope, no husband for me.
Marriage is between a man and a woman
Only if you're close minded and lame. :)
@Rox95 Accepting a perversion in the name of 'open mindedness' is stupid to me.
You don't need to accept it, it's none of your business. :) Let the gays love who they love, okay.
Marriage is between two humans who love eachother.
@Rox95 I disagree with homosexuality.
And that is your problem to deal with. :)
why so many upvotes, i said nothing special lol
What does the man really get out the woman taking his last name though?
@fabulouspancakes It is the symbolism of us unified, with the man at the head of the family. That way both spouses, and the children, will all be unified with the same last name.There's also the symbolism of trust in the woman to want to take his last name.This stuff matters to men. Most men want to naturally lead, including leading our households and relationships. This is how nature intended men to be. Women are not automatically "oppressed" or "disrespected" if a man takes the leadership reigns in the courtship dynamic. That's a feminist lie.
@Prof_Don That's all subjective and symbolic, though. But I guess the entire concept of marriage could be considered symbolic these days. My thoughts are that the individual couple should do what suits them, whether that be more traditional or modern. Some women do feel oppressed and disrespected by following the tradition of giving up her name, and I don't see anything wrong with skipping that if they're both ok with it. Neither do I see anything wrong with the woman taking the man's name if that's what they want.
I don't think she will dump her husband over an argument about last name. In the end it's her who chooses, so he can't really do anything. Also, since she chose to marry him, I think she likes him a lot , which means he is kind to her and will understand her
It's disrespectful for a woman to have an opinion of her own on the name that appears on her own ID and she has to live with? That's just bizarre.
Not an opinion. It's a basic element of culture. Funny how (the most vocal) women complain only about duties, but never complain about how in a marriage almost always it's the man who pays for everything, fixes everything, organizes everything.If such a little thing as a surname already is too big of a deal for you - don't marry, it tells a lot about you. You will save some poor lad from a life of misery.
I must say I find it simply amusing how some guys get offended by this and downvote all the girls who say the wouldn't.
Look at the down votes. 🤣 triggered some nerves I guess. Lmfaso...
It's true, though. My uncle hasn't worn his wedding ring since he's gotten married (before I was born). Honestly, I think that was a genius move on my uncle's part. If she won't keep with tradition, why should he have to?
Lol you're overthinking this way too much!U could hyphenate his last name with his, ex. "Williams-Lee"
Yeah that's what I would do. But I wouldn't take his and abandon my own. Imagine someone named Chiamaka Smith or Ugonna Park. It's just weird to me.
Plus I don't want to lose the meaning of my name. That's why I'm so attached to it.
Hopefully there's a sperm bank near your home for you to do that 👍🏾
Whats wrong with wanting to name my child after the woman who let me live?
Most men that get married, want the children and his wife to have the same last name as him.You wanting to change the last name of the child, is something most traditional men won't go for.
I think you need to read what I said again. You have that all wrong.
So if your mother's last name was Olson, you want the child's first name to be Olson in memory of your mother?
@Prof_Don My mother's first name was Nadia. I would use her last name (and once mine also) as the child's middle name not the first. That would be odd to have a child with my old last name as the first. I like her first name more though. I just want my mother to live on in some way. It's also a nice name.
Oh I misunderstood! Sorry :)
@Prof_Don It's alright it happens.
I don't think that marriage would last
I agree, that marriage would be doomed.
@AlphaStyles @Prof_Don It won't last anyways, because it will never happen. And I'm sorry if I don't want to become a man's property.
OMG that feminist brainwashing is deep! Stop thinking you're being oppressed in a marriage when you would not be! :(
She's gone bro no need she's gone
@Prof_Don LOL feminist brainwashingI'm not even American...What's the part of there will be no marriage that you don't understand? And since when I have to get married?
Guys here are going crazy, so many dislikes...
@Ceins I know and I was expecting that. That's because women who don't do what they want are frowned upon.They're ridiculous!
And to them I'm a crazy feminist. I'm a woman doesn't respect men and who hates them. It's crazy Lol
Any woman who doesn't agree with them is a feminist. They never met any modern feminist I guess. I myself have been called a feminist on this site, while I'm more a traditionalist type lol the things you can learn about yourself from strangers online
@Ceins "Any woman who doesn't agree with them is a feminist. " - That's true. And they're obsessed with feminists. Yeah, it's funny how they know more about you, than yourself.
You don't have to change your name but your husband name would be infront of it like your official identity but people can still call you your name sometimes
You could hyphenate your last name with his, ex. "Freeman-Sanchez"
@AlphaStyles I've thought of that. I might just make my last name my middle name.
@Prof_Don I've considered that but the short answers easier
yeah, and watch her divorce your ass soon.
@J-Rock Seems you have experience