Ladies, would you take your husband's last name upon marriage?

Question

I'm getting married soon and I don't like the idea of changing my last name. I like my last name and my first name with his last name just sounds wrong lol

coralee · Accepted Answer

I think it's a really personal choice and no one should tell you what to do. When I was younger I wanted to change it for two reasons. One my last name is a pain in the neck when it comes to banking. There is a period in it. Two because it is really far down the alphabet and I hated being last in alphabetic order all the time.
But as I got older and my paternal grandfather passed away. I've become pretty attatched to my last name and don't think I'll change it. My family is extremely important to me and losing that connection to them even if it's just a symbol would be hard. My name is who I am and giving it up would feel like losing my identity.

Wonderer89 · Accepted Answer

I was so excited to take my husbands name... a few days after we got engaged I even created a new email address to use after we got married so no one else could take it 😂
I felt no familial connection to my maiden name... my mum changed hers back after the divorce and it was just us two most of the time so it was nice to get rid of it. My husbands immediate family has a really close knit bond I really admired and taking their name felt right.
It's a personal choice, some feel connected to their name in many ways and giving it up feels wrong

Bell44444 · Accepted Answer

Yes. You're joining his family. Actually you're making your own. You change your identity because you're making a new one in the context of your new family. Plus I'd want my kids to share both their parents names, not just one. One family. One name. It's symbolic. Why do people hate this so much?

Tanairy328 · Accepted Answer

I like that tradition of taking the husbands last name, i don't care what feminists have to say about it

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I would want my wife to take my last name. I am traditional and any woman who I would marry would also be traditional. If you have children, what would their last names be? Give half of them his name and half of them your name?

MrMilti · Accepted Answer

When I am married, I want my wife and myself to have the same name. But I would not mind, if this was mine or hers. I would give up my lastname

btbc92 · Answer

so if you don't like his last name why you going to marry him? everything you do once you married becomes one, and that includes your last name. this is less to do with tradition and more to do with what your marriage symbolizes. so what you're saying is that you want the perks but you want to be separate. I honestly would take because it's supposed to be me marrying into his family and becoming one not the other way around.

ShortCircuit · Answer

In the greater scheme of things, it's just a name. However, I will admit that I'd prefer my partner to take my last name. I just like the idea of a girl fantasizing about marrying me and becoming Mrs. ___, because it just says a lot about how she feels about me. Girls who have the cynical mindset that taking my last name would somehow be a symbol of oppression are very off-putting.

It's just one of those things that the act itself doesn't matter, but her willingness is a pretty good indicator of the "type" of girl she is.

AthleticMom · Answer

SIGH - are you rich/spoiled? OK, let's see what others have done
Licensed professionals, esp. if carrying on parents' profession will
> socially be known as first name - family name - hubby name
> professionally at office as first name - family name
Some in academia with PhDs might adopt option one above for both scenarios
The rest are simply
confusing the masses
sending out "open marriage" to those shopping for a married affair

That's my limited world - teach me what others in your world are doing w/o consequences.

Anonymous · Answer

All these single woman talking about marriage symbolized a transfer of ownership. If you feel strongly why don't you throw out the whole thing? Why are you only complaining about the name? Get married in a court and leave it at that. Don't allow your guy to do a proposal or buy a ring and do a ceremony at all. Better yet, don't even get married. Enter a civil partnership. The reality there's no logical reason to take a man's last name. Its down to tradition. So if you have a problem with it, keep the same energy about ditching every other traditional aspect of it to.

Anonymous · Answer

A woman's attitude toward marriage is the best indicator for whether a man is in for marital bliss or hell. And when a woman wants to keep her last name, it speaks volumes about her attitude toward marriage and toward men in general.

I will not marry a woman who won't willing take my last name. For men, marriage is not what it used to be. Many of the benefits men used to get from marriage are gone or diminished, and the costs and risks to men are greater than they used to be. This is one thing they should not have to give up.

weasley8 · Answer

I would, but it's probably different for me because I'm not all too fond of the way my last name sounds anyway, and also because in my family, all the girls have one of the same two middle names, because we know that the last name will probably change, so we keep some connection through the middle names. Also, I currently possess quite a few family heirlooms. So because of those things, I wouldn't really feel like I was losing that part of my family. But I understand that a lot of people do feel that way. If you don't want to change your name, that's up to you. Or you could hyphenate it. That's what Ron and Hermione did! :)

bleh012 · Answer

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~ modern men and women are amazing!!! They are respectful, open minded and either cool about women not taking their husbands' names or deciding hypen or new name or still good with the traditional one from women ☆♡. Menists still think men should have the only power and women has no right as a citizen, this means these sexist men are ignorant, immature and scared about gender equality because they can't share power or equal footing. One said it's disrespectful if the woman doesn't take her husband's last name because of family

verybusyguy · Answer

Socially she is going to be an important part of his life and family and

Hence she rightfully should take his family name ( yes it's family name not his personal last name )

There is always a confused and stupid opinion of not taking his last name and shit

With argument like she has the right to choose her last name... Which may be a point feminist think could give her a equal status or something

But in fact she achieved the equality the very moment she became the very important member of his family...

Anonymous · Answer

If she isn't willing to take my name, I wouldn't marry her. It is a must on her part. No hyphen either. I'd she didn't want to do this she is pretty much saying she doesn't want to be a family to me. I mean what would you name your children? I would want my children to also share my name. In all honesty men get very little out of marriage but women actually get a fair amount. So if she isn't willing to offer the perks of being married to me then why would I want to marry her. So no I wouldn't marry a woman unless she took my last name fully.

TORISC · Answer

I think it's a sign of completely merging with him. It's romantic! Of course it's not something you HAVE to do, but personally it's an amazing way to secure your coming together moment. As one family.

roy_ricky09 · Answer

Lol... I'm literally laughing at people's opinions, they say if they get divorced and all... Like you already have a doubt on the partner.

For me a name doesn't define who you are. Even is you don't change it, it's your wish but provided you discuss this with your partner. As he's the one who you are going to be with.

Mr-Kabuki · Answer

you know i never thought about it but its seems a little weird to have your parents have different last names. Cause then it seems like she's not a part of the family. When everyone in your family has the same last name it sorta is just symbolic of the unity of your family. when you see everyone in your family sharing the last name it kinda gives you a subconscious feeling of togetherness. and when they dont take the last name, they seem like just want to stay foreign to the kin.

whats the point in rebelling against taking the last name anyway? because taking his last name is slavery? yea he's not asking to marry you cause he wants to own you.

Jaquav · Answer

I'd prefer to sit down and pick/create a new last name with her. I'm definitely not keeping my last name. I'd take her last name if she doesn't want to choose a new one with me. And I'm changing my first name soon as well, never really liked it, it doesn't feel like me. I'll likely be switching my first name with my middle name.

shy_girl96 · Answer

Its up to you as to whether you change your surname or not, but in my opinion marriage is where man and woman are joint as one and become one flesh. Therefore this means that the lady would change her name to that of her man as it shows they are one. But as I said, its up to you.

Celq124 · Answer

I would actually be OK to change my last name as the guy to the girl's last name. It's just a name. Beside, all that tradition to "carry you family line" I personally don't care. The truth is that family line is carried by blood, not at all by name. It's exactly how adopting child works.

Anonymous · Answer

i wanted my wife's name. we can both pronounce her surname (she's English, im not). and i have no more connection with my father or his family, so my surname is meaningless to me.

but she's old-fashioned so it didn't happen

Prof_Don · Answer

I don't have many absolute deal breakers in dating.

A woman not taking my last name, or hyphenating our last names together, is one of them.

I really don't see the fucking point of a man getting married at ALL in the modern era, if she won't take his last name in some form.

Otherwise, what is the man really getting?

angelgirl7 · Answer

Marriage is not a big deal to me. I'm not religious and I don't think you need a piece of paper to prove that you are committed to each other. But, if marriage was truly important to my future husband, I'd get married. Same goes for the last name. I like my last name, I think it would be easier to keep it, but if it was important to him then I would consider having it changed.

abc3643 · Answer

Keep your last name.
Tell him that you want to keep your last name. If he doesn't like that idea, then dump him. If a man loves a woman, then he's not going to let your choice of last name ruin the relationship.

I told my wife when we got married that she could do whatever she wanted with her last name. she decided to take my last name to show that she was connected to me.

LittleSunshineGirl · Answer

I would keep my last name but ad his last name at the end like the Big Bang Theory Actress Kaley did when she was married before she got divorced so for example if your name is Kayla Chapman and you were marrying someone with the last name perez you can have your name as Kayla Chapman - Perez

jenew87 · Answer

When I get married I plan to keep my name or if their name is short enough hyphenate our names. You don't have to change your name to respect your husband or the marriage not to mention the whole name changing process is a hassle and pricey sometimes.

HOAAH · Answer

Yes I would because I want to become someone new, I don't want to be the old me anymore that my family treated like a dumb person who didn't know anything from anything. I wanted to become a more confident person who valued herself.

VO1D_Entertainment · Answer

I'm not a lady but here's my input - any woman who refuses to take her husband's last name after marriage is disrespectful to him and quite likely to be an extreme feminist. Also I never trust any woman whose name involves hyphens.

fauchelevent · Answer

Meh, I'm cool with it. I don't particularly like or dislike my last name, I'm kinda indifferent. I think I'd wanna change it 'cause I'd want our kids to have the same family name. I mean, we could hyphenate but his name is already double barrelled and I don't wanna force three surnames on the poor kids :P

Rox95 · Answer

I love my boyfriend's surname.. it would fit really well with my first name.. but I also really love my own surname. I have an "x" in my first name, second name and surname so I'd be sad to give up my 3 "x's"

... Maybe we could flip a few coins when we get to that stage in our lives but I don't think we could do a double barrel because his surname is Portuguese and mine is Scottish, it would just sound retarded!

Gaah! It's tough being an adult, eh?

Miyumi · Answer

I won't. If you get divorced you have to decide if you wanna keep it as well.. I hate double names. I mean the last name I got is from my family.. so why would I change it? Simply 'cause I marry into a new one.. yeah no. In the current age you can keep your own I'll happily do that.

Gypsy_x · Answer

No, I probably wouldn't. Whilst I think its a romantic notion, I love my family name. I also just can't be bothered changing everything.

I know a lot of woman who haven't changed their last name, especially women with successful careers (just to prove you don't have to be a bitter 'feminist' to want to keep it).

The kids can have his surname, but I'd like to keep my own.

snowshy · Answer

I'm not completely sure.

When I was a kid it didn't make sense to me to take another man's name unless his was nicer sounding than mine and I can't honestly say my opinion has changed.

I would only change it if his sounded better but otherwise I feel more inclined to keep my name as it is.

butterbiscuits · Answer

No. I really like my last name. It goes perfectly with my first lol. If I married a Nigerian guy, I'd be more likely to take his last name because my name is Nigerian. If he's from another country in Africa, maybe. Knowing myself though, I'll probably marry an Asian or Hispanic guy and I don't like the idea of my name reflecting 2 different ethnic groups.

JustJules · Answer

Sure I will take his last name but we are naming our girl after my birthmother or giving one of the kids my bio mothers last name and it's not a bad one either. It would actually mean a lot to me to name one of my children after the woman who gave me life.

Anonymous · Answer

One of my uncles got married, and his wife refused to take his last name. As a consequence, he doesn't wear his wedding ring. Seems like a fair trade to me.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I would be willing to take a girls last name upon marrying.

kenjaminSlutton716 · Answer

You take his last name or you don't marry him it's been like this forever who the fuck are you to change that lmao

Anonymous · Answer

I have no preference, it's just a name. Although if they have some awful last name that would make my whole name sound like a curse word or something super dirty I'd be less interested in taking their name. Otherwise I feel it's not a big deal, I can take their name, they can take my name, we could take both names or both of us could keep our own separate names, whatever.

Anonymous · Answer

I think I'd actually want my future wife's surname because I hate my father.

JimRSmith · Answer

My girl is published under her present name, so she'd be destroying her 'brand' if she changed it, at least as far as academic purposes go.

I would expect her to use my name for social purposes, though.

menina · Answer

If I wanted to get married, I wouldn't take my husband's last name. I hate my last name, but I don't want to feel like I'm his property.
I might love him, I might want to be him with him, but I'm still an individual.

tmiranda08 · Answer

I love my last name. It would be sad parting with it 😢 ... But I answered yes on your poll cause love is about sacrifices lol.

Astoriana · Answer

I don't want to. If having a single family name is so important to my future husband, he can take mine.  Tradition isn't a good enough reason for me to do something that I don't want to do.

AtomicCheesing · Answer

I really don't care. She doesn't have to take it if she doesn't want to

AzureGirl · Answer

My boyfriend actually wants to take mine when we get married. His reasoning is because he doesn't like his family and doesn't want to be associated with them (for good reason), nor does he want me to have to be associated with them by name.

snowangle · Answer

I would, just because I don't like my last name lol. I think it should be a personal choice for everyone. I definitely would prefer to have the same last name as my husband and future children, with no hyphenations.

Dinaomg · Answer

Nope cause I'm my dad girl. My dad is my hero so i need my hero when my husband misstates me or disrespect me. He will always be there 🙏🏼 i have trust issues.

Decentguy · Answer

i just love how all the females are down voting every guy who wants his wife to take her last name

loverboy61 · Answer

Depending on where you are at I don't not believe it is required that you take the person's last name. But my question is if you love the guy or the woman why would you not want to take his last name?

DonkeyRick69 · Answer

Honestly if she wasn't going to I wouldn't marry her.

SarahsSummer · Answer

I would. Even though I like my last name more than his, I could never disrespect him that way.

samsmoove · Answer

If a female will not take my last name during marriage then there won't be a marriage. What's the point?

BellePepper · Answer

Nope. Do you know how much paperwork you have to drag down to the DMV or any other government office? It's horrible! It's not worth the hassle.

ariadneR · Answer

Definitely. I've got 2 brothers. My dad doesn't have to worry about his line.  The only way I'd keep my name was if I was the only child or only had sisters.

Malaya · Answer

Yes I would cuz it would mean a lot to me and knowing that we are now one then 2 and cuz I love him with all of my heart soul mind strenghth and body and cuz it a fresh start to

fabulouspancakes · Answer

I'd rather skip the marriage thing, but if I were to get married the names don't really matter to me. In theory I like the idea of keeping your name, but my last name sucks, so... lol

alice55 · Answer

I would. There's no point in getting married if not...

mahaim1234 · Answer

Absolutely! It's just proving my commitment and consolidating it further

anonyettas · Answer

I wouldn't take his last name but if its really important to him that i take it, then i would comprimise by adding it to my last name for example : Morales-Gonzales something like that

charurban · Answer

I think it is different for every situation and a conversation you also need to have with your fiancé. In the end though the choice needs to be made by you and no one else

meatballs21 · Answer

... so discuss this with the person you're going to spend every day of the rest of your life with.

Z-Spark · Answer

if you dont want dont get married, if my future wife refuses to take my last name then to me no deal there, no compromises here she must take it.

normielover6969xD · Answer

I would like to take my wife's last name because I do not like my current one

OhMyLeniency · Answer

The women has to take the last name. STOP RUING EVERYTHING

Ladies, would you take your husband's last name upon marriage?

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Ladies, would you take your future husband‘s last name or keep your maiden name?

Ladies, would you take your husband's last name upon marriage?

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Ladies, would you take your future husband‘s last name or keep your maiden name?

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