Most Helpful Opinions
I was so excited to take my husbands name... a few days after we got engaged I even created a new email address to use after we got married so no one else could take it 😂
I felt no familial connection to my maiden name... my mum changed hers back after the divorce and it was just us two most of the time so it was nice to get rid of it. My husbands immediate family has a really close knit bond I really admired and taking their name felt right.
It's a personal choice, some feel connected to their name in many ways and giving it up feels wrong81
Yes. You're joining his family. Actually you're making your own. You change your identity because you're making a new one in the context of your new family. Plus I'd want my kids to share both their parents names, not just one. One family. One name. It's symbolic. Why do people hate this so much?712
I like that tradition of taking the husbands last name, i don't care what feminists have to say about it20
I would want my wife to take my last name. I am traditional and any woman who I would marry would also be traditional. If you have children, what would their last names be? Give half of them his name and half of them your name?92
When I am married, I want my wife and myself to have the same name.
But I would not mind, if this was mine or hers. I would give up my lastname0
What Girls & Guys Said
so if you don't like his last name why you going to marry him? everything you do once you married becomes one, and that includes your last name. this is less to do with tradition and more to do with what your marriage symbolizes. so what you're saying is that you want the perks but you want to be separate. I honestly would take because it's supposed to be me marrying into his family and becoming one not the other way around.20
Simple answer, yes.70
In the greater scheme of things, it's just a name. However, I will admit that I'd prefer my partner to take my last name. I just like the idea of a girl fantasizing about marrying me and becoming Mrs. ___, because it just says a lot about how she feels about me. Girls who have the cynical mindset that taking my last name would somehow be a symbol of oppression are very off-putting.
It's just one of those things that the act itself doesn't matter, but her willingness is a pretty good indicator of the "type" of girl she is.20
SIGH - are you rich/spoiled? OK, let's see what others have done
Licensed professionals, esp. if carrying on parents' profession will
> socially be known as first name - family name - hubby name
> professionally at office as first name - family name
Some in academia with PhDs might adopt option one above for both scenarios
The rest are simply
confusing the masses
sending out "open marriage" to those shopping for a married affair
That's my limited world - teach me what others in your world are doing w/o consequences.11
All these single woman talking about marriage symbolized a transfer of ownership. If you feel strongly why don't you throw out the whole thing? Why are you only complaining about the name? Get married in a court and leave it at that. Don't allow your guy to do a proposal or buy a ring and do a ceremony at all. Better yet, don't even get married. Enter a civil partnership. The reality there's no logical reason to take a man's last name. Its down to tradition. So if you have a problem with it, keep the same energy about ditching every other traditional aspect of it to.711
A woman's attitude toward marriage is the best indicator for whether a man is in for marital bliss or hell. And when a woman wants to keep her last name, it speaks volumes about her attitude toward marriage and toward men in general.
I will not marry a woman who won't willing take my last name. For men, marriage is not what it used to be. Many of the benefits men used to get from marriage are gone or diminished, and the costs and risks to men are greater than they used to be. This is one thing they should not have to give up.76
I would, but it's probably different for me because I'm not all too fond of the way my last name sounds anyway, and also because in my family, all the girls have one of the same two middle names, because we know that the last name will probably change, so we keep some connection through the middle names. Also, I currently possess quite a few family heirlooms. So because of those things, I wouldn't really feel like I was losing that part of my family. But I understand that a lot of people do feel that way. If you don't want to change your name, that's up to you. Or you could hyphenate it. That's what Ron and Hermione did! :)0
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~ modern men and women are amazing!!! They are respectful, open minded and either cool about women not taking their husbands' names or deciding hypen or new name or still good with the traditional one from women ☆♡. Menists still think men should have the only power and women has no right as a citizen, this means these sexist men are ignorant, immature and scared about gender equality because they can't share power or equal footing. One said it's disrespectful if the woman doesn't take her husband's last name because of family21
Socially she is going to be an important part of his life and family and
Hence she rightfully should take his family name ( yes it's family name not his personal last name )
There is always a confused and stupid opinion of not taking his last name and shit
With argument like she has the right to choose her last name... Which may be a point feminist think could give her a equal status or something
But in fact she achieved the equality the very moment she became the very important member of his family...10
If she isn't willing to take my name, I wouldn't marry her. It is a must on her part. No hyphen either. I'd she didn't want to do this she is pretty much saying she doesn't want to be a family to me. I mean what would you name your children? I would want my children to also share my name. In all honesty men get very little out of marriage but women actually get a fair amount. So if she isn't willing to offer the perks of being married to me then why would I want to marry her. So no I wouldn't marry a woman unless she took my last name fully.30
I think it's a sign of completely merging with him. It's romantic! Of course it's not something you HAVE to do, but personally it's an amazing way to secure your coming together moment. As one family.91
Lol... I'm literally laughing at people's opinions, they say if they get divorced and all... Like you already have a doubt on the partner.
For me a name doesn't define who you are. Even is you don't change it, it's your wish but provided you discuss this with your partner. As he's the one who you are going to be with.90
you know i never thought about it but its seems a little weird to have your parents have different last names. Cause then it seems like she's not a part of the family. When everyone in your family has the same last name it sorta is just symbolic of the unity of your family. when you see everyone in your family sharing the last name it kinda gives you a subconscious feeling of togetherness. and when they dont take the last name, they seem like just want to stay foreign to the kin.
whats the point in rebelling against taking the last name anyway? because taking his last name is slavery? yea he's not asking to marry you cause he wants to own you.30
I'd prefer to sit down and pick/create a new last name with her. I'm definitely not keeping my last name. I'd take her last name if she doesn't want to choose a new one with me. And I'm changing my first name soon as well, never really liked it, it doesn't feel like me. I'll likely be switching my first name with my middle name.50
Its up to you as to whether you change your surname or not, but in my opinion marriage is where man and woman are joint as one and become one flesh. Therefore this means that the lady would change her name to that of her man as it shows they are one. But as I said, its up to you.30
I would actually be OK to change my last name as the guy to the girl's last name. It's just a name. Beside, all that tradition to "carry you family line" I personally don't care. The truth is that family line is carried by blood, not at all by name. It's exactly how adopting child works.20
i wanted my wife's name. we can both pronounce her surname (she's English, im not). and i have no more connection with my father or his family, so my surname is meaningless to me.
but she's old-fashioned so it didn't happen91
I don't have many absolute deal breakers in dating.
A woman not taking my last name, or hyphenating our last names together, is one of them.
I really don't see the fucking point of a man getting married at ALL in the modern era, if she won't take his last name in some form.
Otherwise, what is the man really getting?33
Marriage is not a big deal to me. I'm not religious and I don't think you need a piece of paper to prove that you are committed to each other. But, if marriage was truly important to my future husband, I'd get married. Same goes for the last name. I like my last name, I think it would be easier to keep it, but if it was important to him then I would consider having it changed.32
Keep your last name.
Tell him that you want to keep your last name. If he doesn't like that idea, then dump him. If a man loves a woman, then he's not going to let your choice of last name ruin the relationship.
I told my wife when we got married that she could do whatever she wanted with her last name. she decided to take my last name to show that she was connected to me.11
Most Helpful Opinions
I think it's a really personal choice and no one should tell you what to do. When I was younger I wanted to change it for two reasons. One my last name is a pain in the neck when it comes to banking. There is a period in it. Two because it is really far down the alphabet and I hated being last in alphabetic order all the time.
But as I got older and my paternal grandfather passed away. I've become pretty attatched to my last name and don't think I'll change it. My family is extremely important to me and losing that connection to them even if it's just a symbol would be hard. My name is who I am and giving it up would feel like losing my identity.