Do you live a “Double Life”? ... why do some girls and guys have secret affairs?

[laurieluvsit]

Use anonymous if you like and tell us why you are having an affair.

Is it lust, is it a bad relationship, is it abuse causing you to do it, is it because the deep emotional connection that you once had is gone, is it better sex?

Are you receiving the emotional connection you want if you are female, or if you are male, is it just the sex that you are getting out of it that you feel that you have to have?

Do you know anyone that has been involved in an affair? ... why did they do it?

I hate to admit it, but I have a girlfriend that has affairs behind her boyfriend's back with both guys and bi or lesbian girls. I hate that she does that and have told her that she is wrong to do this to her boyfriend. I think he knows she is doing it, but just tries to ignore it. I can not figure it out.

Share your story with us... PLEASE!

A. Yes, I am having, or have had, a secret affair

B. Yes, I know someone that is having, or has had, a secret affair

C. No, I have never had a secret affair and I don't know anyone who has

D. OTHER, see my comments below, or just open the "Double Life/Secret Affair" survey

[TCredo]

I am not currently but I have gone periods of time with a "double life" - and will never say I am proud of it or try to dismiss it as not being wrong - but I've done it and while I'd like to say right this moment that I won't do it again, my past behavior suggests that's a lie... I am sure many will judge me by this but I try to not judge others as you never know everything that's behind or within someone - but I will not go anon.

On two occasions I've had fairly long term (1+ yr) relationships with two different transgender women. It was a bit of double/double life thing as neither of them knew I was married. Maybe even crazier for some but the relationships while hidden were done in the open as we traveled and went out in public - restaurants, shows, ball games, etc. It was enabled by lots of business travel and income (side account gets a % of my pay - known and accessible only by me).

Why did I do it? I've tried to figure this out. My wife is great - and if you knew me personally or professionally you would never ever ever guess this double life stuff. I have come to deeply connect with transgender women and I am not ashamed of it (as noted before all the public doings) and it's just not sexual (although I must say that has been amazing) - I guess it's partially based on a thrilling feeling as I go about my regular life as a regular guy with all sorts of the regular things and what not. So I can't give enough reasoning for the why part... and again I know many will read this and judge - so be it - as I said I am not proud of it but it's been a part of me. Apologies if this was too much rambling. I really enjoy your questions and this one just hit me with the need to tell it like it is.

[TCredo]

thanks for the MHO :)

[laurieluvsit]

You're welcome, thank you for another great opinion :)

[TCredo]

welcome back :)

[Finchie40]

Sad to ay it happens a lot , it comes down to the person not being fulfilled in their current relationship , and the person being selfish , and the thrill of it , why attraction is 1 of those things people can’t really control people tend to get bored of the same routine of working and coming home taking care of kids etc.. their partners are just set in their ways of doing the same routine as well so it becomes boring , the sex dies down and they don’t feel the passion they once did. So seeking out someone new is exciting for them , the flame in them ignites and the new person makes them feel alive again cuz they make them feel wanted , when that married girl was secretly cheating on her husband for me I am not going to lie the sex was amazing she treated me like gold when she got busted by her husband I talked to her 1 last time and said why did you do that and she told me cuz I was attractive and nice and she said the second she saw me she had to have me so she didn’t want to hurt her husbands feelings but she didn’t have that passion with him for a long time and that I sparked it up for her , I was still hurt and angry so I never talked to her again after that and I think her husband stayed with her after all that , so this is 1 of the reasons I don’t want to settle down again , I had a lot of other married women flirt with me as well and just goes to show what’s the point of getting married if people r just going to cheat? Just stay single and date and have sex when u get bored move on cuz apparently that’s what people do nowadays anyways

[Finchie40]

Thanks for MHO beautiful and trust me I do want to fall in love again but whoever the girl is she has a lot of walls to get over to prove to me she is the one , I hate that about myself cuz I was never that way before , just goes to show what happens when you experience broken hearts

[laurieluvsit]

You're welcome and thank you for another great opinion :)

[Finchie40]

Always xoxo

[Diggity11]

When you were having sex with the married woman. What were you feeling at the time? Did she tell you sex with you Was better than her Husband or whether you were bigger? Was it a ego booster for you that you were having sex with her , knowing she wants you more than her husband of that was the case?

[Finchie40]

Well first I didn’t know she was married , so I thought her and I were heading on a path of being in love and staying together , she was so into me that the sex was amazing and I pleased her every time so it wasn’t until after the fact that I found out she was married that I realized her sex life with her husband must of not been good and I was blown away by everything she did with me in bed , I couldn’t believe her husband would even want her back cuz if he knew every detail of what she did to me in bed I don’t know how he could even kiss her again , If a girl cheats on me it’s over period. I have got with other married girls as well that I didn’t know were married or in relationships , so to find a girl that will be a 100 percent faithful to you , Good luck with that , they are out there just very hard to find especially nowadays , so I tam trying play my cards better so I got to a point in my life that I am just living my life and still playing the field , trying to be more cautious on who I meet but reality
Of it a person can tell you whatever you want
To hear if you are attracted to each other and have good chemistry the last thing I am thinking is if she is married or in a relationship. My instincts are to have her in my arms , with hopes she wants to stay beside me if she is holding secrets of already being in a relationship, that’s something she has
To live with , That married girl and I were together 6 months before her husband caught on , she played me and her husband good , considering her husband traveled a lot for work so I was clueless she even had a husband considering all the times I was at her house.

[nella965]

Here are the two reasons why people have secret affairs:

1. Their current relationship / marriage is not fulfilling them. There are issues that are not being discussed or one of the spouses are unwilling to come up with a solution for it.

2. Some people are born to cheat.

3. There is nothing wrong with the marriage, one of the spouses are just bored of it. So they go to flirt, have sex, have secret affairs with single folks. Then they folks end up denying anything happened between them. I've seen many single folks that have been used and played by these married folks.

If a married person has an affair with you and doesn't leave his or her wife within a month, he / she never will.

[ariadneR]

Personally I can't even imagine cheating on my partner.
I know of someone that's cheating on her husband with someone at work. It's sad she has no shame.

[laurieluvsit]

I know... that is so sad to see :(

[Desconhecida]

I think I'm having an affair with myself these days

[laurieluvsit]

Don't wear out your vibrator... lol

[Desconhecida]

God gave me 10 fingers for a reason ! LOL

[laurieluvsit]

Yes! ... no batteries to worry about and never wear out! ... lol

[Sani_abakan]

I want to marry you

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I did, it was for lust, and I'm not proud of it.

[jamiepagepro]

I wish I knew the need to have an affair. I mean when I was younger and didn't care about anything I could understand but as I got older life got more serious and I depended on people more but they for some reason weren't on the same mindset I was and caused the ruin of my so called life

[rajesh_leo]

Last year I was approached on Facebook by a pretty married girl who hadn't even completed her 1st anniversary of marriage. She started with normal conversation and suddenly she started sending sexually suggestive pictures. Then next I got to see her hairy pussy picture. I felt so bad for his newly married husband. But later thought that might be his husband is cheating on her and now she is out for revenge. She asked me to come to a hotel to fuck her but I refused.

[Sarahplus2]

I am a single mom so I have had sex with women from time to time but never when I am in a relationship. I don't usually tell the guys I am dating.

[laurieluvsit]

I see nothing wrong with it when not in a committed relationship

[Ally247]

I live a double life.


it's like Hannah Montana tho

[laurieluvsit]

In what way?

I'm blonde... lol

[Ally247]

(if I told you I'd have to kill you)

[laurieluvsit]

Oh My!

OK, I don't really want to know then... lol

[Ally247]

and I don't wanna kill you...😂

[Secret6620]

I definitely have not had any secret affairs. But I know many family members who have. 😱

[laurieluvsit]

Yes, I think there is always someone in every family that does it.

My uncle had a gay affair that my aunt only found out about when he came out of the closet and left her, and his children, my cousins, to go live with his new lover. I hated him for it!

... not because he turned gay but because he abandoned his wife and kids and left them heartbroken... it was super sad :(

[Secret6620]

That's heartbreaking 💔😢

[TahoeHiker]

I'm not, my girlfriend sure does think I am.
The times I've been with another woman was when we've been together with the same woman. No different when she's been with another guy.

[laurieluvsit]

But, those experiences have made her suspicious of you?

[TahoeHiker]

Yes and I can't figure it out. My friends say its her way of drawing my attention from what she might be doing secretly.

[laurieluvsit]

Not necessarily. It is a natural instinct in many females to be suspicious, sorry to say, but you can't say it is always without good reason :)

[TahoeHiker]

Exactly. But for her to be suspicious, I understand, but when she wanted to watch as we invited another woman i really had to be reassured and completely certain she was ok with it. As for my friends, im not buying into it

[Paulaanderson]

I had a couple of secret affairs early in marriage due to high sex drive and hubby working away
In an open marriage from 10 years ago and works for us

[Sani_abakan]

very nice comment

[Koalamate]

No but i am known for dopleganging

Im from a sheep station and people know me from back then but im in the city now and people have no idea i also visit the country and people from the city see me and there like wtf nice hat totaly confused.

When i was a kid i was very sick and would sometimes use a wheelchair some people had no idea i was sick some thought i was wheelchair bound.

Most people dont even recognise me now im out the wheelchair its so awkward

[Irishman41]

I kinda want something on the side casually, once or twice a month to try new stuff

[laurieluvsit]

If she allows it, and can do it if she wants to, than OK, but if not then you should not cheat! ... you agree with that, right?

[Irishman41]

I do of course

[Irishman41]

I would never hurt my family over something like that..

[Anonymous]

A married guy started an affair with me while he was working away from home. We met at a happy hour after work and just clicked.

[laurieluvsit]

I'm not going to ask too many questions because I think there are some circumstances where these affairs are justified and some where they are not, so if I don't ask then I don't get judgmental in my mind... lol

One of the most harmful things to the emotions is when it is finally determined that it isn't going to work out after feelings have already developed.

[Hazelstar]

I would say because society would judge them. Your family and friends would judge you for it. Like if you are a mistress or a side chick your family and friends would judge and suggest you to leave that relationship.

[sixxx]

I never have an experience like that nor do I know someone who have that experience. I am curious though.

[Juxtapose]

People are so stupid. If you enter a monogamous relationship, be prepared to leave if it isn't up to your standards rather than just sneak behind their back like a fucking snake.

[Anonymous]

The wife and I aren't getting along and apparently I am much more kinkier than she is, and she thinks that's disgusting

[laurieluvsit]

That's why good communication prior to marriage is essential unless it is something that developed during the marriage, at least in ideal world :)

[Opinion Owner]

We were both vanilla at first, i evolved, she didn't

[Taylor_C]

Was in a relationship with a married man for over a year. Still adore him, ending it was his choice, not mine.

[Nigjt]

I don't feel that I have to hide it if I want more then one witch I always do I just tell them in the beginning an let them know

[Pejtu]

I've done it in the past but i was single and I've been banging 35 y old woman, she was married with 2 kids when i was 24
Why?
She said simple few words i will remember till i die probably

[ask4any]

I think people are attracted to the"Taboo" and excitement of being with someone they shouldn't be.

[ask4any]

It's a kink all in itself kinda!!