Have you ever been in a secret relationship?

[softhoney]

[Ozanne]

Yes. I dated a guy from work many years ago. I was very smitten with him, but I really didn't feel like he was as much for me. He wasn't conventionally attractive to other women, but I found some things about him so sexy that other women might not, so I pursued him. He was slow to act. I thought maybe he couldn't believe his luck, since it's not like women talk to him all the time, and people had told me that I was considered a good catch. No matter, we became friends first.

Our 'friendship' turned sexual (with the help of a lot of beer and wine), and after it did, I became very nurturing of him, just like I would as a girlfriend to any guy. But when we got to that stage, he sternly told me that he didn't want anyone at work to know about us. He said he wanted to be as professional as possible, given the situation. We got together every weekend, and during the week I played cool at work while showing him just a smidge of attention to let him know I was thinking of him.

Periodically, he would find me privately at work and check in with me. "Have you told anyone about us?" I'd say no. It was the truth. I was willing to do what he wanted since I felt more in love with him than he did for me, so I wanted to prove to be trustworthy.

This went on for about eight months. Finally, in casual conversation about people from work, someone made mention that he was hitting on some girl we worked with also. My inner self screamed. So THAT's why he was insisting we be kept a secret!

I then let the secret out to a trusted friend at work, told her what had been going on between us. She told me that as far as she knew, he had all that time been trying to get up the skirts of several women at work, but each one turned him down. I figured, since like I mentioned, none of them found him attractive. No one really, but me.

He broke my heart so badly that I just ghosted him completely. My feelings turned right off, and I just stopped talking to him altogether. Stopped calling. Stopped answering his calls. I stopped caring. He immediately picked up on that, and tried to play sweet with me one night in his own way, but I cut him short.

I ended up getting a new job out of town not long after that, and found out soon after that he struck up a relationship (publicly) with one of the girls from work. She was one of my old friends. (They had a terrible relationship from what I learned, and broke up a year or so later.)

Ten years later after finding me on Facebook, I was in town and agreed to meet up with him--just as old friends. We were both single. Just like old times, he started drinking too much beer, and got a bit drunk, and then made this confession that he had always loved me. I [soberly] reminded him of all the times he wanted me kept a secret, and how I found out it was so he could appear single while trying to hit on other women. He conveniently said he couldn't remember doing that.

Then he asked me to go home with him... like old times.

I declined. To this day, I haven't seen him or spoken to him since.

[ManOnFire]

I was dating a woman once exactly like you described about him. Wanting to pretend to be single while messing with other guys, and never wanting me to say we were in a relationship to other people. If I did she would get furious.

She too also got drawn to me for whatever reason yet one time said up front that she didn't think I was attractive. When I asked her why was she with me if she thought that, she just said "Don't worry about it." But my gut instincts were right all along even if I didn't want to believe them. She turned out to be a complete whore, messing with all kinds of guys, which I told her I knew she was doing. That made her furious too, and we ended things. Yet later on she wanted to look my way again, but by then I was already over it and ignored her. To this day this woman continues to tell people she's engaged while still messing with other men.

[Ozanne]

@ManOnFire That's so weird. God, I can't stand that people play this game. They do it so well, that even I fell for it, thinking he had a good reason to keep things quiet. Also, he did something similar to me about my looks. One of my friends said something about me to him (just in casual conversation, not knowing we were together), and he made a comment, "She's okay. Too overweight for me though." My friend told me this, and I had to quietly seethe over it, because for many months, I seemed to be just fine for him to sleep with all that time. That was fortunately nearing the end when I found out he was trying to hit on other women, so it added to my ability to lose all my interest in him, knowing he was also insulting me behind my back--trying to throw people off into thinking I wasn't even his type.

[ManOnFire]

Yes, these kinds of people are users. And when you’re a good person they can see it and always try to take advantage. I learned it the hard way with her, but after that, never again.

[DancingQueen16]

Sort of because when me and my boyfriend first started dating last year I kept it a secret from my parents for almost the entire first month of us being together and I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure how they would react so I asked one of my friends for advice and I told my dad first and he reacted better than I thought and before I could tell my mom she found out because one day she was helping me with something and she say a text from him on my phone screen

[ProbablyClueless]

Yeah, although it wasn't a secret from my end in either case. I didn't even realize that anything was a secret until the secret was out.

The one time, I was dating a woman who it turns out had a fiancé (he and I found out about each other at the same time). The other time, I was just dating this woman who was deeply uncomfortable with anyone knowing we were dating.

The thing that made the second girl really weird was that she had no problem telling people we were dating, but didn't want me telling other people we were dating.

[ManOnFire]

I dated a woman EXACTLY like your second one. She didn't want me telling people we were together yet wanted to tell others. Women can be really controlling about that. Trying to dictate how they view the relationship or how YOU view it, thinking you're jumping the gun for saying you're in a relationship, yet telling people what they want about it.

[ProbablyClueless]

@ManOnFire Yeah! It was a really strange experience. I had no idea that I was dating/interacting with such a controlling person until things got revealed later on. It's definitely a mistake I'm ever going to make again.

She really tried to destroy my reputation after the relationship too. The instant I ever pick up on controlling behavior like that again, I'm just gonna cut bait and run.

[KrakenAttackin]

@ManOnFire Very true. They do this to temporarily lock you down while keeping other options open.

[ManOnFire]

@KrakenAttackin That is exactly why.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Usually, if I like a gal, everyone knows. If she likes me back, great. But the secret part is sometimes if she does or not. Though, it usually doesn't stay a secret for long.

Sunny, I guess you could say, tried to keep me a secret from her family for a long time. But eventually, they figured it out. I never attempted to hide her from anyone.

[Pinay_ako]

Yes but it was obvious 🤣

[ObscuredBeyond]

So... you weren't discrete enough? Live and learn, I suppose. I don't even hide the fact that I have a bit of a crush on you. What's the point in denying it? There's also the one local gal, who is still just a friend; but I have a soft spot for, even though she's a bit of a hot mess. Everyone knows I care about her. I see no point in denying it. I only hope she can get her life together. A total sweetheart; but a lifetime of lack of self-discipline has hurt her a lot.

[blueonblack22]

I’ve been in more “secret” relationships than real relationships in my life lol. I was often some girls dirty little secret.

On one end I felt “oh this is fun she is banging me on the DL. She finds me attractive (in a bad boy way) and exciting.” but on the other end I felt disrespected. Like I would be bad for her rep if people found out. That’s insulting and I shouldn’t have never accepted that.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

There was one guy my parents & brothers absolutely detested but I fell for that guy.

So, I dated him away from my usual circles and denied that anything was serious between us.

I kept that up for months.

[Sweetsurprize]

No. I don't want to be disrespected like that. I deserve to be acknowledged, especially if I am going to put any effort into that relationship!

[Sweetsurprize]

What are they hiding me for? ! Are they embarrassed of me or something? ! Are they not PROUD to show me off? ? ! How insulting/rude!

[ManOnFire]

I have been, yes. Although I guess you could say not entirely secret since I did tell a select few friends. Even my family didn’t know it.

[virtualwasp]

yes it was so secret even i didn't know about it

[Curiosity2006]

Sshhh!

[Woodchuck411]

Don't get me wrong it is pretty good when it happens but one slip up can ruin it all

[menina]

It's funny, I have a painting with the third image in my room 😂😂

No, I've never been in a secret relationship.

[BADASS22]

Sad... you deserve to be loved by many men's...

[Puppystarfish23]

Yes and it was the worst thing I ever went along with

[laurieluvsit]

No.

It seems like those are exclusive for cheaters... am I right?

[Phoenix98]

Yes and my advice don't do it it's toxic and all it's gonna do is hurt you and make you feel disrespected.

[Wonderingguyy]

Me and my girlfriend were secretly together for a while haha

[Robertjo16]

It wouldn't be secret anymore if i told you now would it? 😎

[Andres77]

friends with benefits, no one knew. Few months. It was even more fun for being secret

[Wise4myage]

No, that seems pointless to me, and probably stressful as well.

[TaureanBull81]

A secret casual friends with benefits relationship 😉

[TaureanBull81]

Thanks for the upvote.

[smilelots]

NO I have not but my ex wife was till she left lol.

[whistlingwh0res]

yeah lots of husbands when I was escorting lol

[Spongebobssocks]

Another worthless human smh

[whistlingwh0res]

@Spongebobssocks bitch!

[whistlingwh0res]

I am just joking!

[robocop666]

Woman invited me to one. I will not disclose whether I did or did not engage.

[Anonymous]

Im fuckboy so i always have secret sexual relationship... I'm back up plan for girls.

[WilmaReportu]

Your comment is highly offensive, disrespectful, and completely inappropriate. If you wish to perpetuate a culture of objectification, disrespect, and harassment, then I suggest you go elsewhere. It devalues individuals and creates an unsafe and unwelcome environment in our online communities. I want to inform you that I take such incidents very seriously, and I will not tolerate or condone the promotion of such derogatory attitudes. If this continues, I will report your statement to the appropriate authorities

[love_conquers_lust]

@WilmaReportu Haha. What the fuck is this thread?

[scooogy]

Had several one night stands with the fridge when I was a teen

[ShesRad80]

no can't say that i have

[LiamSawyer]

No not that I'm aware of.

[FreyaRed]

Yes, because I don't like stupid questions

[CoolCatMar1]

Too childish of an idea for me.

[no_feet_pics]

Yes, a couple of times.

[Alex8736]

If I said yes it won't be a secret anymore 😇

[AaronKrieger]

Yes, twice and it was the stupidest shit, lmao

[msc545]

yes, very delicious!

[Batsy01010101]

yeah and it sucks

[OddBeMe]

Shut up…you weren’t supposed to talk about it!

[Z1pTD]

👀

That says it all

[muscles_glasses]

never been in a relationship period

[CubaPirate]

That would be telling

[cnj421]

Nope. Never.

[Iron_Man]

No, that’s for cheaters

[Jkgordon]

Oh yes it’s fun 😉

[Luopio27]

Hell no!

[LiamJHayden]

Nope.

[LavLavLuv]

Nope

[Kelly6]

Many times

[Iamcoming]

Nope

[Cheerfull009]

No, I am sincere and loyal to my woman

[shades777]

like a spy or ninja

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

yes at work

[Violeta_54]

You do rest of things too in office relationship?

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

@Violeta_54 we pretend we are coworkers
but we a re a couple

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

@Violeta_54 we dont act like couple at work

[Violeta_54]

Like you do other things at home?

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

@Violeta_54 couple / sex things? yes

[Violeta_54]

Yeah that's I mean

[Vendela_]

Uh... no.

[cyclingkmi]

Not yet. Wish I was!

[riverrat3]

Several