21, never had a boyfriend. What am I doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

So I'm 21 and I've never had a boyfriend. Never been asked out, never went on a date. I have zero experience when it comes to love and sex.

I don't understand why.

I am not ugly (I've been told I was pretty before, not many times, but still and I do get some looks in the street..). I am not mean or bitchy and even less stupid.

I am sort of shy and quiet. But when I get to know people I can be very funny. I love to laugh and talking about any kind of subject. It's true that I am sort of a "loner" type or independent type. I don't hang out with a crew. But I do have some friends with whom I am very close. At the same time, when there is a debate over some issue, I love to participate and I can be really outspoken if I want to.

I have graduated from high school 4 years ago and remained single since. I don't fall in love that easily neither (twice my whole life but they had girlfriends). It does bring me down sometimes, especially when I see girls who are my age and who are in deep committed loving relationships.

So then I wonder what it is about me that makes guys not even consider asking me out ?

[Phoenix52]

Maybe you give them the 'cold shoulder' and act too disinterested. There's plenty of girls I've met who were shy as heck. But I didn't give up on them - I dug into their personality a bit more and connected with a few shy ones.

Perhaps you're too afraid to give a relationship a chance. Maybe you've heard stories of some tough breakups from people and you just don't want to get hurt.

Relationships are challenging. Drama can come about, but hey, life itself can be dramatic. Problems come about, and you just gotta solve them.

If guys approch you and talk, give them a chance. Become friends and let the friendship build a strong bond. Any guy who wants you will keep tabs and not give up on you. And he'll like you for who you are, and respect your feelings. And you'll like him the same way back, so hopefully you'll upgrade the friendship to lovers.

But anyhow, you're 21 and haven't been in a relationship yet. BIG DEAL. Don't let it worry you - seeing others in relationships and feeling lonely is just bullsh*t pressure. Live your life up and LOVE YOURSELF. And if you run into a guy who's interested in knowing ya, hang out as friends and let him know you're a tad bit nervous or shy about it. If he truly likes you, he won't mind.

[dave216]

This is just a guess, are you too pretty? Guys won't even try asking you out if you appear to be so pretty that they think you would not accept an invitation from them. I had an opportunity to spend a few hours talking with the prettiest girl in my senior class while we were on out senior trip. Everyone else was asleep and we sat together to talk. I learned a lot from her. And I guess she from me as we talked about male female things. She told me all through high school only a couple times did she ever have a date and she asked me, almost in tears, why nobody ever asked her out. I had to laugh, she didn't know. She was so hot we all felt she would never waste her time with any of us. Are you like that?

[Asker]

Is that true ? I know girls that are really, and I mean really, as in model like pretty and yet they managed to have a boyfriend. Actually, I've never seen them single.

[dave216]

I swear, it is 100% true. All us guys just figured she would never go for any of us, and we left her alone. She got over it.. She is now married to a really good friend of mine.

[Anonymous]

I know exactly how you feel, the same thing is happening to me.

I even went up to one of my guy friends and told him that I liked him, he was so shocked becuase he thought I was 'out of his league' and was even more shocked when he found out I was very inexperienced and hadn't been with anyone before. But don't give up, there's a guy out there that will appreciate the fact you've not been with anyone and he will be worth the wait.

But if you really want to start meeting guys then go out to bars, clubs you'll always find guys trying it on...just be careful not to fall into their trap - because most of the time they will be after just one thing. But I agree its very hard to find that special someone who truly loves you for you.

[gummybear888]

you aren't doing anything wrong. in the same boat. it could be guys being intimidated or the fact you don't fall I love easily. you can date and do what you're comfortable with and not exceed those limits. until you find the right guy, just stay open to opportunities.

[karla1527]

Looks like I wrote this, feel you:(. But I'd love to see the answers syou get

[niceguyBrett]

every guy has prefrinces.it sounds like your doing every thing you can.are you over weight?i know its messed up but to much weight can be a turn off.you should try dating web sites.the things I like in a girl are her smell,figurure,personality,and face.i swear us dudes are easy to get at if you try.mabey you should try to go up to a guy instead of waiting for one to come to you.all I know is that there's definitely a pefect mach out there for you ,just don't give up.

[Opalivian]

What are you doing wrong? Eh...I don't think your doing anything wrong. You just haven't met your guy yet. Dating is a game of chances. Everyone will end up with a girlfriend or boyfriend sometime. Just a little patience will do. If you do really want a boyfriend ask your friends to introduce you to someone or talk to the shy guy sitting over there, or bump Into him accidentally. If you really wanted a boyfriend you would have already got one, you just haven't tried yet. :)

[Belgie]

You could be giving off a "stay away from me" type of vibe.

It's hard to tell.

Why not try asking a guy out? It's the 21st century after all.

[Asker]

I've thought about it and it's true that though I certainly have this "I'm busy" vibe. I don't really know how to explain it but whenever I'm in a place I have this sort of vibe that simply makes people believe I have no time for them. I guess it's just because I can't help but be focused on whatever I have to do in some places. But this "whatever I have to do" never has anything to do with meeting and going up to people actually.

[Belgie]

Well, that's kind of your own fault then, isn't it?

[Asker]

well it seems so. But notice how I never said in the first place that it someone else's fault since I asked what " I " am doing wrong.

[bob01]

your not doing anything wrong, now start looking for guys who are ready for you, or just go on with live and he will come on the way.

PS. or ask me out :))

[Luopio27]

She made her move by askin what's wrong, you made yours, hope this builds up into a relationship.

[Anonymous]

well at least you don't have to make the first move, we all know who has that burden

[frustratedchump06]

glad I'm not alone

[defytraditiongirl]

ask a guy out