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1. " My girlfriend says she loves me unconditionally but a few months back I read somewhere that women are emotional beings and men are logical."
Honestly, not only women nobody is capable of giving unconditional love. Unconditional love simply isn't practical, it is just not realistic. Such a type of love can only exist in novels, movies and fairytales. In real life there is no such thing as unconditional love.
There will always be some ground rules, some boundaries, healthy boundaries established between two people in a relationship so that they can both grow while being happy and content in it. Hence those ground rules, boundaries are nothing but conditions only.
Yes there may be very less, very few conditions in some relationships or in some relationships there can stricter rules, boundaries but conditions and boundaries are bound to be there.
Hence there is no such thing as unconditional love. That is my opinion and my reply to your question. Yes, generally speaking women are much more emotional than men. However, person wise one woman may be more emotional and less logical and some other woman may be more logical and less emotional or balanced but yes in general women are known to be more emotional. Men are definitely more logical and rational.
2. "So I figured is everything she's saying based on her current feelings at the moment, or can they be true?"
Yes, she is saying this based on her current feelings which will seem to be true to her. However, emotions and feelings cannot be trusted as they are variables and can change anytime. Tomorrow you may end up hurting her, you may make a mistake that would be something that is difficult for her to forgive or forget that time if you ask her then she may tell you she loves you but not unconditionally.
Hence you shouldn't trust her words at face value. For now just hear that and don't say anything.
Love SHOULD be conditional. Love should at the very least be conditional on fidelity and non-abuse. Beyond that, there are several other legitimate reasons to end a relationship, such as extremely hurtful comments that can't be healed, lying about something serious or important to the other partner, etc.
Even most parental love is conditional. Most parents would no longer love their child if they were a murderer or a rapist--as they should. I'd wager that unconditional love is a myth, but at the very least it shouldn't be anyone's goal.
Anyone is capable of unconditional love, regardless of gender.
Not that that's a good thing, though.
Unconditional love, to me, has always seemed like an excellent way to lock yourself in a toxic relationship due to justifying behaviours in your partner that, in the long-run, are super destructive to all parties involved. People who stick with their partners, despite them being serial cheaters, emotionally/physically abusive, etc., are often guilty of romanticizing the idea of 'unconditional love'- which almost never ends well.
hard agree, the idea of unconditional love is very old school anyway. Like many old traditional societal beliefs, people have begun to finally question those old standards with more realistic standpoints. Things like loyalty need to be thrown out the window when the person you think you need to be "loyal" to has a negative impact on your life.
I don’t believe any person, regardless of gender, is capable of unconditional love. Only dogs are.
I don’t know about you, but If I found out one of my children abused a small child, love isn’t the feeling I’d have towards them.
I didn’t mention anything about a dog?
Apologies, it’s in my opinion 😂😂
In response to that, I don’t think the bond between owner and animal is more significant - I’m saying that no matter what, a dog will love unconditionally. That’s always guaranteed. A bond is a different thing.
Yes sorry I did mention it in my original post, sorry about that 😂
If someone's kid gets fucked up it is their fault, not the kid's. Depriving love because the parent did a bad job with their kid is just an answer where they get their fucked up nature from. I think having a child and sense of responsibility towards the child would change your opinion.
You know what men are called dogs and women as bitches because they are quite unfaithful in there own relationships if coming to the topic of unconditional love in relationships 😂😂
@Asker Thanks for MHO! 😊
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Think about this. If you cheated on her repeatedly, abused her, then killed her puppy, you think she’d still feel the same way about you? These are conditions that should make all the difference to everyone.
I’m assuming she’s young and just doesn’t know what the f she’s talking about.
I don't think that's what people mean when they say "unconditional love", though. And no, that downvote isn't from me
After reading all the other replies, I must say I stand corrected. I always saw it different than most people, it seems
I whole heartedly believe you can love someone unconditionally whether man or woman. It's rare though
loving someone "unconditionally" means, you still love them even if they punch you in the face and give you a black eye. i don't think unconditional love is a good thing.
@genericname85 You can love someone and not enable them as well. You can split and still love them. You can wait hoping they recover, but refuse to be physically close to them until you see a change.
@genericname85 that's not unconditional love thats just being a victim of domestic abuse.
Just because you love someone doesn't mean you excuse their actions, or even stay in a relationship with them. Plus love doesn't just happen. I think you have to be with someone for a while before you know if you actually love them. (After the honeymoon period at least)
@meesegoMoo in that case, you're loving the idea that you have of them. not who they actually are. that is actually always the case.
you love someone based on who you think they are. sometimes who you think they are and who they actually are can be close. sometimes there can be a big disparity. the latter is often the cause for breakup or a horrible relationship.
i agree that you have to be with someone for a long time before knowing them. nevertheless, they can still shock you with things you never thought after a very long time.
if you don't excuse their actions, that means there's a condition to your love. the condition that they don't beat you, hence your love isn't "unconditional".
so with what you said there, youa ctually agreed with what i mean. maybe you mean something else when you say "unconditional".
@genericname85 you do realise you love the person, not their actions? And just because they do bad things doesn't mean you've stopped loving them. Love is an emotion... it can still be there...
This is all way too black and white to you.
there's a certain leeway. people make mistakes. and certain behavior is excusable if it is improved upon within a certain time... but if you stay in an abusive relationship with a violent partner that isn't getting better, cause you "love" them, that's stockholm syndrome.
i completely agree that in the case of a child, love should be unconditional. cause it is litterally a parents job to make it such that they become a better person. but with a mature partner, that is different.
@genericname85 Like I said, leaving a relationship doesn't necessarily mean you've stopped loving someone. I don't believe that all couples that are in a relationship unconditionally love each other either, like I said it's rare. But unconditional love isn't just narrowed down to a child and their parents.
yeah you don't stop loving them, the moment you leave a partner that beats you up. that's true. but you will grow and learn and you will realize you don't love them anymore and you will wonder why you loved them to begin with. this is what happens.
@genericname85 Not to ponder on nothing or scream in the wind, but was it ever love at all? I think the lack of a proper definition of love makes almost this entire conversation pointless. Without all sides agreeing on it's nature how could one argue that it even could be temporary or permanent?
@meesegoMoo i agree. we could try to define what love actually is. i actually hinted at my understanding of what love is already.
@genericname85 I saw that. It seems to differ greatly from my idea or what @anniisa thinks. In my view love is permanent or something else is simply being mistaken for love. I don't believe that almost anybody in a relationship experiences it, they all seem to self-serving to be based on love.
@meesegoMoo if i understand your idea of love, love is a objective state of mind or emotion, that may or not be active. and it is hard to know if it is active or not. do i understand this right?
for me, everyone has a certain set of ideas about what they would like in a partner and how they would want the character of their partner to be. if a partner fits those ideas well, we would call it love. and since you can never know someone 100%, i feel like the closer the person you are with matches those ideas about them and the ideal partner that are in your head, the more you're likely to call it love. obviously there's the problem that you never know how much a partner can match what you want, cause there's always gonna be certain things that don't fit 100%... so whatever you think love is, always depends on your current state of experience. for example what i called love 10 years ago, would barely qualify as friendship with the experience i have today. it's a really complex thing, cause this is only one side. the same things have to fall in place for your partner too.
so i think we use our contemprary knowledge of what we want and what we think should be to compare that to the partner we have and using this information, we slap the label "love" on it or we don't. so love itself is not an objective thing that either exists or not. it can come and go and change.
@genericname85 You've got my definition mostly right.
With your concept of love it cannot be unconditional. By it's nature it's created by or constructed of conditions.
@meesegoMoo exactly. because i do think that our concepts of love develop as we develop and therefore are subject to change over time and not the same from person to person. that's why it's so hard to find a partner. cause love is not the same for everyone.
@meesegoMoo so i think staying in love is a constant ongoing effort of both partners to develop in similar directions personally and as a couple while also still being an individual person at the same time, which is tough to unify. the moment you stop doing that, you will drift apart and not love each other anymore. so i think thinking of love as something that is just there isn't helpful. cause once you stop ensuring to develop together, it will go away.
@genericname85 how the fuck can u love the idea of someone? lol,
i love this girl for her personality / who she is for like 3 years... are u saying how she has been all this time is not really her and that she is just an idea? lolwtf that makes no sense,
either im retarded or u are wrong, cos i dont understand that sentence lol
autism and down syndrome are a test for that
@NatalieKeller95 Could you elaborate? I'm not sure where it fits or how those would work as a test.
@meesegoMoo those types of people can be very challenging for society, many people wouldn't give them the time of day,
@NatalieKeller95 After you spend time with them, I would say most downies could charm almost anybody after enough conversations/hugs. Autistic folk are a challenge, I think far fewer would warm up after time.
@meesegoMoo what makes them so challenging exactly, and why would they be less loved than downies?
@NatalieKeller95 Because most downs patients are perpetually cheery. They've done a few studies of their caretakers and on average the people around them are way happier than the general population. Sometimes people crave simple joy, forgiveness without hangups.
Autistic people usually don't provide that. Most people don't understand people with down's syndrome as well as they think they do, but nothing comes along to shatter their idea. Autism has more variety, but almost nobody understands them at all. To the general population the difference in processing and perception is so obvious that conversation can be frustrating. Many people take pride in the small, pointless parts of their behavior and sometimes have nothing else. For those people their ego's might crack because a person didn't make eye contact while speaking. I've heard people cuss out others for being rude because they didn't maintain eye contact through a full conversation.
When something that small sets them off there isn't much hope. Autistic patients are either treated like retards or put to an even more strict measure than regular people.
@meesegoMoo so nobody with autistic can be loved then, are just cranky and miserable, is what you're implying? and what do you mean by more strict measures,
autistic people might have better genes than down syndrome, but if you want downs people reproducing, then this world is in a sad state, autistic people can be more able than down syndrome, in love they might be more sensible, and might help when it comes to keeping stability in a relationship, but only those who are high functioning can really, low functioning autistic people, can hardly tie their shoes or heat up food, they need assistance 24/7, high functioning people, may require some assistance in certain areas, but they can pursue the same goals as most people can, if people would just be patient and more understanding, they'd see that not all of them are bad or unbearable
@NatalieKeller95 I can tell which group your performance best mirrors. Try reading what I wrote as I wrote it.
@meesegoMoo do you offer anything positive?, why wouldn't a woman be able to understand and love a capable man with autism, like I get that they can be hard to deal with at times, but we're all human in the end,
@NatalieKeller95 Point to where I said ANYTHING close to that and I'll gladly answer all your future questions.
I’m able to love a man unconditionally if he loves God
then thats still a condition!
"if" is a conditional preposition...
"is everything she's saying based on her current feelings at the moment, or can they be true?"
Bullseye on the first part!
One minute she feels she cannot separate herself from you and will never even think of bringing harm your way.
The next minute she's wanting space from you and is already talking to someone else, who she fancies.
It is all about the feelings! They are all temporary. You can manipulate that and prolong these feelings, that she has for you but ultimately women are driven by their *current* feelings and emotions.
I'll believe, that women are being able to love unconditionally when I see it. So far I've seen only a handful of such cases.
To be pedantic, it’s not so much conditional vs unconditional as it is that they have much greater sets of conditions which we perceive as effectively being incapable of loving in the same way.
And it seems like basically yes, they don’t seem to be able to appreciate you in the same way. They’ll say that it should be conditional and all sorts of stuff like that, but it’s just a roundabout way of saying yeah they don’t care the same way. Of course they’ll see unconditional love as bad, if they don’t love the same way then obviously you should expect them to talk a bunch of shit about it.
At the end of the day, yeah, you’re alone, we all are. No one (at least girls) is going to look at you the same way you look at them. True mutuality is a lie.
no, i doubt it.. women are very judgmental and they only want mister perfect... they can't accept you for your imperfections like us guys can,
she may say she loves you unconditionally... then the second she finds out some bad habit about you like u uhh... hmm... leave shit on the side of the toilet bowl (for example)
thats it... she's done... and then she breaks up with u llol
Unconditional love is a myth, maybe, or something that takes 30 years of being together, loving, and living together! Everyone has judgments, and personal issues! When you love someone, you have to let go of some things, and just love the person more than the little things that maybe annoy you! Everyone deals with it, and how you deal with those things, is how your relationship survives!
IT's illogical to believe there is a significant difference between men and women in the cases of logic or emotion. Men see their emotion as a weakness to exploit, and women see emotion as expression of self.
And anyone is capable of unconditional love, but it will never be you. Instead, it will be how you and other men and women feel towards their children. As far as I can tell, there is no other unconditional love as unconditional as the love for your children. it's fucking weird.
Unconditional love happens maybe with first partner over some limited time span, even this isn't unconditional because of idealizing and the euphoria of new, never experienced before excitation.
Some people are emotional others tend to be rational but there is no gender tendency in my opinion.
She doesn't love you unconditionally. She loves what you can do for her (e. g. money, sex, fame). All about her.
So are you saying she does love me per say?
Doesnt*
Dont overanalyse it. In theory, all love is conditional, its just that sometimes the conditions are so implicitly accepted as to not be worth mentioning. It's only a problem if you start to feel manipulated by-- or subservient to-- an unreasonable set of conditions. Just take it on good that loves you as you are. So just don't become LESS THAN your current self (eg: becoming unemployed and doing nothing to try and get a new job; or getting unreasonably clingy and insecure).
But this is not the same thing as love its commonly accepted that a transnational relationship represents love but this is not true.
@casanova411 When a baby cries to its mother in hopes of being breastfed, and the mother feeds the baby and comforts it, is that not a kind of transaction? This is my point, is that any interaction involving two or more people usually involves SOME kind of transaction. It could be a transaction of affection, or words of support, or just mutual respect. While I do believe there is a higher relationship paradigm than that predicated on "tit for tat", I also realise its impossible to transcend the practical necessity of transactions between people we care about. But there is a big difference between "give me XYZ or I'm outta here" and "let's give each other XYZ without keeping score, because we just want the best for one another". It's a different kind of transaction, because it's coming from a place of "giving without expectation", whereas the former is more about "how much can I extract from this person to my own advantage before I walk out?"
Maybe for their children, but not for their partners! Believe me, there are conditions where she'd send you packing... unconditionally !! She made that statement because she thinks she knows what you're all about, and you wouldn't ask for or do something that would make her stop loving you. That's what she thinks.
It doesn’t exist unconditionally love for example if you cheat she will leave you buy that is normal it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you it just means that unconditional doesn’t exist unless between parents and their kids
Only dogs are capable for unconditional love. Both male and female aren't
Hmmm... okay
Unconditional love is most seen from our mothers... When that kind of love is seen in your partner then you are lucky enough person in the whole world.
Love becomes unconditional love when you love your partner even he/she hates you... When you are capable of showing such kind of love, then they are lucky enough to you...
Love can't be shown in words or even in actions sometimes... The one who's been loved must feel the love that his/her partner shows.. 😊😊😊😊
Defining unconditional love and how it functions in both good times and bad times is an opportunity to see if it's important to experience.
We can strive to love unconditionally and learn as we go
We have agape, philos, erotic/emotional love... But Unconditional Love is the most complex one
I think the principle of unconditional love can be pursued but yes it can be to a fault. Part of that acceptence for me is knowing that in order for me to say that or feel that way about someone I have to know them well enough to feel regardless of situation they wouldn't do anything that would cause me to doubt that.
Emotions aside, going to my nerdy side.
Thinking about research and meaning.
You will need to do some thinking or homework.
What is the operational definition of "unconditional love:?
This means... how does she define it in a practical way. How can you say... yep that is what she is doing. How do you define it and demonstrate unconditional love to her?
When you figure out what those definitions are then you can better understand if THIS woman unconditionally loves you the way YOU want to be loved unconditionally.
lmao men are incredibly emotional, thats bs.
I personally dont believe in unconditional love for anyone other than my future children. Or at least unconditional commitment. Respecting myself and my future children means that there are definitely conditions on your conduct and how you treat me. Even if I still loved you while grieving the relationship, I would put it to a violent death if you were abusive, disrespectful, not considerate of my feelings, not loving, etc.
Nope. I don't believe in unconditional love. No one should. It doesn't make sense (logically).
They love you unconditionally until they don't.
In the moment, they do. But in the next moment, they feel differently.
You know Borderline Personality Disorder? I think all women have that to one degree or another.
😂😂😂
You are spot on man! Women only love you IF...
*if you court them properly
*if you don’t show emotional weakness
*if you don’t smother her with affection all the time
*if you satisfy her sexually
The list goes on... it’s similar kinda with men, but we are much more cut and dry... once we love a woman all we need is for her to be consistent and loyal. No crazy shit to keep me into it at least
Of course they are. Most decent mothers have unconditional love for their children so its actually very easy for us. This is why a lot of women say in abusive, unhealthy relationships
What do you think about the reaction of the women in relation to the availability of options they have?
I think there is a lot more going on with abusive, unhealthy relationships, and it happens to both men and women
Dont you think its possible they dont want to leave for fear they won't find someone as good or cause they have no other options?
Yeah unfortunately i know a lot of girls like that. Who just settle because they don't believe they will find better or they are worried about being alone. But i definitely would definitely say women are capable of unconditional love still just like any other person unless they are a psychopath.
Well, we all have our beliefs. I choose to believe it's not real. There is always a condition.
I feel when it comes to love, you should be a narcissist in a good way. The presence and constant effect of the actions of those kind of people can have a significant effect on a person. I think it's best to think k about the effect their presence has on you. They aren't being affected. They are doing them. You should do you. Love from a distance and see how fast what you thought was love would fade
Wise words. I think you're right. I suffer from the same problem as Alice
We've all been there and then we grew past it all.
But*
It's really hard to let people go when you truly care about them
That was a really wise choice. Stay too long where you dont belong and you may never return. You dont drown by falling in the river, but by staying submerged in it.
Yeah Remo, it really is, but it's a duty we owe ourselves. In your world you are the star. You're what matters and any relationship you're in should be beneficial to your own wellbeing... I personally dont see the point of a one sided love... shit is depressing
She used to falsely accused men of rape usually men who were boyfriends of friends or relatives to emotionally blackmail them into staying friends with her and turning them against people they loved who said she was toxic. She said my cousin sexually assaulted her when she was 5 and he was 10. My cousin is only one year older than me and her. I called her out on her lie and she told the whole school my cousin was a rapist and i still stayed friends with her after she punched me in the face
@alice.. Young dumb, young, young, dumb and broke😌.. its all in the past now. Having knowledge is nothing if you dont apply it to your life. It can be hard but one day at a time.
😂hide? does she eat human flesh? just keep it on a hey-hi level and move on with your life
I dont know the situation as well as you do... handle your safety the way you feel is best
Sounds like she's a lot of trouble. It's good that you got her out of your life
I feel like this could get lost in philosophy very quickly but to catch the lighting in a bottle here, conditional love is an interesting concept. It can be watered down but what does it mean fully. I feel like I might have a follow up to this.
Don't believe everything you read. Men are emotional too, women are logical too. We're human. And if you are looking for ways to doubt your girlfriend when she says she loves you, the fault is in you not accepting it, not in her saying it.
Simple
I think we live our kids unconditionally... parents too.
Romantic lovers?
That has conditions.
I would love to think I love unconditionally but I was actually thinking about this the other day. If someone hurts my kids, my family, or any child, or commits a vicious crime. The unconditional and the love are both hella gone.
I think everyone is capable of it, but a lot of people don't know what that means! lol. I think sometimes that is the case, where they think so at the time, or feel it at the time, but do they actually? Time will tell.
were you reading roosh v? lol. women are just as capable to love as guys. someone who says otherwise is probs an incel
Anyone is capable of love but the question really is about unconditional love. Is it possible for women?
Logically, unconditional love is a stupid concept, as life's purpose in general is simply "eat, fuck, die"
Emotion is the only cause for love, to stay with 1 person.
I don’t ever believe you should love anyone unconditionally unless it is your parent or your child. Marrying someone you love unconditionally is a very dangerous route to take.
Really depends on the person, but I think it's hard to say that a partner can love unconditionally. I mean one condition right off the bat is not cheating. So I guess it depends on your definition of "unconditionally".
Of course! I’m surprised at this viewpoint. If anything, women are more capable of unconditional love biologically, deriving from their natural maternal instincts
Unconditional love is for your children.
your partner? If it turned out they were a shitty person you’d probably stop loving them.
There is no such thing as unconditional love. There is "I know you pretty well and accept the flaws I know about", but everyone has limits.
You must realize the idea women are the sensitive ones is stupid. Some are sensitive, some aren't... I'm not a very emotional person but I'm a woman. My ex was sensitive and a guy... Those are just stupid stereotypes which prevent people of both genders to be who they really are with all their complexity.
I believe so. I have had what I thought were one nighters, and I guarantee the women acted like herpes. Just as soon as you think you get rid of them they show back up at your doorstep.
I don't believe that most women love unconditionaly anybody but her kids. It's more common in women that are over 70 nowadays, but unfortunately now that's old fashioned.
Most probably, i speak for myself. I am in a way emotional, so it could be the spur of the moment thing.
No one is capable of unconditional love. We just keep quiet about those conditions and hope they don't come up and eventually forget about them.
Women will love you only to a certain point..
No women loves a man unconditionally.
However women are capable of loving their kids unconditionally
u Love is a choice, not an emotion. Love can manifest itself in emotions, but it's not the emotions themselves.
If men are logical can they love you at all? I mean, if women are emotional of course we can love someone unconditionally ❤️ but is it true for me? Do men even have feelings?
I think anyone can love another person 'unconditonally' the same as how anyone can be lying about it. You just have to go on your own judgement
Men are emotional beings too. Women are logical beings too.
Women do not love men. Women only love what men can provide them. They hate men who cannot provide them with what they want. The normal mode for women is hatred for men. Feminists have proven this.
Yes u r correct.
Because they have mood swings.
And feelings change as per her mood.
She can love u at a moment and suddenly she can hate u.
Whatever it is smart men will stay calm.
I don't think there is any such thing as unconditional love.
Unconditional love? I doubt if someone cheated and abused you then you would still be head over the heels for them
I do think so, more so than some men, especially mothers.
We should all be learning to love one another unconditionally
Unconditional love is a toxic, dangerous concept. All relationships should have conditions.
I don't think so, there is always a condition that break that love. At least temporary.
You've been brainwashed by retarded incel drivel, how sad. The very fact that you believe this nonsense of "men are logical and women are emotional" and don't even realize how moronic the notion of "emotional vs. logical" is to begin with, is proof for you (a MAN) being anything but logical and making conclusions that are clearly driven by an emotional bias of yours.
I read somewhere dude... I'm obviously questioning the authenticity of the content before believing it... read the question detail carefully.
Okay, that's a start. You can read a lot of nonsense "somewhere" nowadays. The internet is full of BS.
But it's good that you're willing to accept that you've been believing something that isn't true.
I'm in the process of believe mehn... not that I believe
Believing*
Also, love is never unconditional.
I don't think you love anyone unconditionally. Because if you did, you would love everyone - and that's just something someone like Jesus does.
Only if it is mutually felt by one another and never a demand but allowed ti be given freely both way, then yes.
yes. so are men. the love of a new born baby is always unconditional.
love of someone mature should never be unconditional.
It’s current feeling. She will change her feeling after she become older like 23. Is she younger than 23? I felt the love when I was in high school but the love didn’t last long. After change of heart I hated myself
Women are more capable than men, that's even proven. They are just built as more nurturing individuals capable of loving everyone around her.
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