Would you go from an open relationship to a monogamous one? Are you 100% happy in your open relationship? Have you fallen for other people?

[Anonymous]

I am not in an open relationship or considering one. However someone I was seeing was in one and I was not clued in on that important detail before being involved (which was not okay, but not the point) they were a close friend to me and I developed strong feelings before knowing that it was not an exclusive thing between us. We kissed and went on "dates" and were a little physical but did NOT have sex. He shared a lot of emotions and feelings for me and was the one who initiated. He claims he did not tell me because it turned from something casual to something real for him and knew he would have to end his current open relationship to be with me and was unsure about it all. (Not sure if that is entirely true, but that is what he said)
I am not trying to disrespect the situation, just looking for friendly insight.
Have you ever fallen for someone outsife of your open relationship? Is it normal to be emotionally involved with others or is it usually just sex? Is it odd that he treated me like another girlfriend entirely? Have you switched between open and monogamous? Are you 100% happy being open? Do you feel very in love with the person you have an open relationship with? Or do you just like and care for one another enough to date but also see other people? Do you usually tell orhers up front that you are in an open relationship? Do you think the feelings he expressed to me were fake or to "woo" me more than they were real? Again, I did not sleep with him and expressed that I don't sleep with people right away and it would be a long time before I felt ready for that, so I don't think it was all about sex- but could be wrong. A lot of questions, but would appreciate any insight or opinions. Also, what "rules' do you follow in your open relationship?
Thanks!

[Thatsamazing]

I don't think labels like this are helpful or appropriate-- people should not go in for nothing-but-long-term-sexual-monogamy. People get frustrated, especially the guy. If that's "open" then whatever, but people should be more mindful of it. I am not in an "open" relationship but I wish I was I guess, because I don't want to only have sex with one girl the rest of my life and don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[Asker]

I totally respect your opinion. :) I do think labels are helpful for anything because they help us define and understand. If labels, in any situation, are used right, they do not restrict, they just help to define.
I totally understand many people do not want to only have sex with one person. Although, I am not that way, I understand the idea. I have always felt like if you are in the right relationship with someone, you will grow with them sexually and it will keep getting better and stronger. I feel the communication gets. better and both parties continue to learn about their own and the other person's body. But I totally get that you can learn a lot and experience a lot in multiple relationships.
Thank you for your answer and input. :) Just trying to understand more!

[Thatsamazing]

I appreciate the thought you're putting in here, and I understand what you mean by helping to define, but I disagree-- I think labels are mostly there to restrict, not to define. The point is they do both, but you're saying they do one more than the other and I just feel like it's the other way more. But I understand why you would say that.

[Asker]

I totally get that! And agree that society kind of uses labels to restrict. We all (myself included) like to think- okay this is labeled this way so what does that mean.. when really there are infinite possibilities. Especially for relationships, as long as the people involves agree and understand, it is not actually for anyone else to understand even if we feel "uncomfortable" by it. I totally agree with you. However, I was mostly saying I like labeles because I feel for me they are helpful.
Such as maybe a guy or girl would tell someone "we are what we are- no need for labels" that often is hard for someone and hard to define what they are more than just if they are dating, you know? So some labels I feel are necessary. And in the case of my question, I was not intending to offend with labels- it was just a way to get my thoughts accrossed to those answering with labels we both have understanding of. Thank you for your input.

[Anonymous]

Would like one just for sex. But what’s the point of having an open one when u can be friends with benefits instead?

[Asker]

I guess that is kinda my question. I know some say they love and trust their partner sooo much and are 100% good, they just fine excitement in sleeping with others... which I get.. I guess? Not for me but that's fine.
But yea, what is the point? Do they not love eachother that much? Very confused. Haha. Thanks for your answer!

[Opinion Owner]

Oh so ur not one? U just wanna now?

[Opinion Owner]

Know*

[Asker]

No, I am not in one. And it is not something I want to be in, personally. I got involved with someone who is in one (unknowingly) and am just trying to get a better understanding of them and some personal input.

[Opinion Owner]

Makes sense !! Some do it because they love having sex with that specific person and want just and open one to see if they can sexually and emotionally attach to someone. It’s like shopping around. Lol

[Asker]

That makes sense. That is confusing because I feel like each couple has their own reasons for having a relationship like that.. so it makes it hard to understand if you are involved haha.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah! Would u ever do it?

[Asker]

Interesting question. I totally get and respect the reasoning behind it.. but no, most likely not. I, personally see sex as something sacred and of high value. Not something I want to do with just anyone. I get it can be fun to experience it with tons of people in different ways, but not for me. I think in an ideal relationship you grow together and get more comfortable and continue to try new things and it only gets better. I think a threesome or something would be something I would maybe consider.. but I think as someone who wants to find my person and get married one day etc. I am not sure it is for me. But I am open minded.. there is just not really a point to it for me at this time because I am not having sex.. so it would just be an emotional relationship and that sounds like I could very easily get hurt.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah true! I’d be down for a threesome! I prefer 2 girls and 1 guy then 2 guys and 1 girl. Hbu? What one would u do if u had the option?

[Asker]

Not completely sure I would, but if so, probably 2 girls and one guy.

[Tommy789]

I was in an open relationship which I learned was a recipe for disaster, My suggestion is don't do it. You will regret it

[Anonymous]

Hells no... Why would a guy lock himself into a cell when he is permitted to roam free

[Asker]

Haha totally makes sense! I just feel like some people are in them because they have not found genuine love or connection yet, so it works. But I get your perspective. Thanks for opinion! :)