Am I a bad person for snooping through my boyfriend‘s phone?

[Anonymous]

I know it was very stupid and I feel sooo bad for it but I was suspicious and I have been cheated on in the past and didn‘t think of the consequences when I did it. I told him that I did it, he was mad but forgave me. I feel so sorry and I feel like I am a bad person for doing this, I feel like I am toxic and controlling which I really don‘t want to be.. I‘d never do it again. Am I really a bad person for doing this?

[Derekk]

You're not a bad person but you did a bad thing and I'd be upset by it. Just remember that no amount of checking phones will ever quell the paranoia of somebody who was cheated on in the past. If you want to get to the root of why you did this, you have to confront your issues with trust.

[StephenCF]

You’re a bad person for doing it when there was no pop-up text or phone call from a girl saying “Hey Babe” or anything similar

[Asker]

there was actually.. like flirty messages with these emojis 😍😘

[StephenCF]

@Asker Then I can understand your concerns. You didn’t explain that in your description

[Asker]

yea but I mean it‘s still wrong to go through his phone so I didn‘t think it was that important to mention it.. would you forgive your girlfriend for doing this if there were messages like that? I‘m 21 and maybe it was a bit immature of me

[StephenCF]

@Asker My girlfriend is also 21, but no, I wouldn’t appreciate her doing that, at least not behind my back. If she noticed something suspicious, it would be more mature to ask me about it instead and I’d know to show her proof that it’s not cheating (clearly any man who would hide messages like that after being questioned is most likely cheating)

[Asker]

would you breakup or forgive her? If she‘s sorry and won‘t do it again

[StephenCF]

@Asker Because of how I feel about her, I would forgive her but I’d never forget. Doing it a 2nd time could easily lead to a break-up though as I can’t deal with someone who I love who only distrusts me in return

[Asker]

so would you love her less after that or would everything be fine as long as she never does something like that ever again?

[StephenCF]

@Asker It’ll take so much for me to love her less, but I’d stay on my toes after that incident. In general, everything would be fine if there was no repeated offense

[Asker]

okay thanks.. so your relationship would be 100% fine still?

[StephenCF]

@Asker For me, yes. I wish you well in yours too, if he’s the good man you trust him to be

[Asker]

thank you so much, it really means a lot to me that you helped me

[Unit1]

You broke his trust by invading his privacy.
Was it worth it?

[Asker]

I did find flirty messages but I don‘t think it was worth it. what can I do now?

[Unit1]

You talk to him to make up for it.

[Asker]

yea.. did what I did make me a terrible girlfriend?

[Unit1]

For sure it did.

[kaitikai2351]

It doesn’t make you terrible. We all have baggage. Just talk to him and apologize for it, you’re not terrible. Please don’t listen to this guy lol.

[Unit1]

@kaitikai2351
You seem to be the type, who would justify cheating on your boyfriend for him not giving you his password.
Get out.

[kaitikai2351]

Lmfao not at all. I would never cheat on my boyfriend regardless of any circumstance. It’s about trust, he has the option to go on my phone and we both use each others. There’s literally no barriers with us since we fully trust each other.

[kaitikai2351]

For the record I’ve never went through his phone, he always has the option to look through mine if he wants to, and I know he’d let me do the same.

[Anonymous]

Yes you most definitely are a bad person.

[Cryptic-Game]

Yes. That's invading his privacy.

[In_Trance]

I think you're