Almost 3 months ago a guy who was really really attracted with died suddenly of a heart attack while riding his bike on his routine Sunday ride. He was just 47 and he seem healthy and took care of himself always. His dead was a shock to me and to all the friends he had, including my male cousin who was this guy best friend for over 28yrs, imagine!! I met this guy through my cousin 5 years ago. When I met this guy 5 years ago we kind of hit it off right away. It seems he was attracted to me and I started to be attracted to him as well. Since we met back then we managed to go out on meal dates and we made out each time. He was clear to me back then that he enjoy being single and he never plan to marry anyone, cause he was happy being single and have that kind of freedom. So if he never plan to marry it could mean that he never want a serious relationship with any woman then or settle with any lady for that matter. He just enjoy being single and decide for hiw own time, to do what he wants. I understood that cause I never wanted to marry either and I was also single (still am though) but I like the guy a lot.
We never really had a formal relationship per se for that reason, so we never were a couple, we were more like good friends. But even being good friends we went out on dates 5 times and made out each time. I think he had the hots for me and he knew I had the hots for him as well. Since we actually never had a relationship or committed or anything formal, he ghosted me twice just one year and a half ago.
When we were in better terms and in those 5 dates I had with him 2 out of those 5 times we had sex in his apartment. I lost my virginity to him but since we neer were a couple maybe he just wanted to fool around with me even if we knew for 5 years, I was not a lady who he recently met. I knew that he did not want any of a relationship with me but I dont know but each time I see the guy in person I was happy to see him and felt butterflies in my stomach.
We never really had a formal relationship per se for that reason, so we never were a couple, we were more like good friends. But even being good friends we went out on dates 5 times and made out each time. I think he had the hots for me and he knew I had the hots for him as well. Since we actually never had a relationship or committed or anything formal, he ghosted me twice just one year and a half ago.
When we were in better terms and in those 5 dates I had with him 2 out of those 5 times we had sex in his apartment. I lost my virginity to him but since we neer were a couple maybe he just wanted to fool around with me even if we knew for 5 years, I was not a lady who he recently met. I knew that he did not want any of a relationship with me but I dont know but each time I see the guy in person I was happy to see him and felt butterflies in my stomach.
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We also ran into some family gatherings. He was the first guy I really could say I was super drawn and the reaosn I decided to loose my V with him. No other guy before him made me feel the way this guy made me feel when I was with him. Maybe becaue I never had that men experience before him, cause I never had boyfriends in my life, or dates before him any of that I had until this guy arrive 5 years ago (im currently 49) SOmethin in him drawn me deep. The last time we saw each other in person was
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was last year in August after that he ghosted me, then in December of last year he got in touch with me again only by text as he wanted to go out with me again to have "fun" but for some reasons we never could go out and got upset with me for that and after taht he stopped contacting me and that was really the last time I got oin touch with him. Then his death 2 months ago and I was in shock and deeply sad and in pain and I still can't forget him. I know I will n ever will.
