My boy friend makes me wear 6in heels and dresses with tight waist belts. I belly dance and he makes me wear ankle and wrist chains. Is this bad?

[DANCINGGIRL99]

I am subornate to my boyfriend who makes me wear dresses and waist belts that are tight on me. I love the right belts and the way the make me look with a cinched waist. I like heels but whenever I dance for my boyfriend he makes me put chains on my wrist and ankles. I also have to dance in 6 inch heels. I am trained to belly dance and I do so chained to a strip pole. I don't like the feeling of the heavy chains and the sound of them when I dance but they turn him on and he says it's to add sound to my dance as I don't wear a scarf but an elastic cinch belt on my hips of my skirt.

PS: Yes I do wear a collar, it's made of metal but only ways a few ounces.

[colelydiason]

It isn't healthy to have fetishes that negatively affect your partner. There has to be a give and take. Compromise.
What does he do for you?

[DANCINGGIRL99]

Well he buys me nic clothes he bought the heels I wear that are very pretty. It's not really but what I get out of it for me, I like pleasing him and it gives me satisfaction. Also great sex

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine as long as you're okay with it, if you tell him you don't want to do something like that and he gets pissed then there is a problem. But if you enjoy it or like doing things like this then it's okay. Would he do the things you enjoy if you asked him? If he wouldn't then it seems more one sided and he's getting more out of the relationship then you are. Basically if you don't enjoy doing something and then you shouldn't do it. And if he has a problem with that then you should leave him or stand your ground and tell him he doesn't control you. But some people are into being submissive like that and if you are then it's alright

[chriscdi]

for some reason it just sounds wrong, does he make you or does he want you too so you do it? cause there's a difference

[DANCINGGIRL99]

Thanks for asking. It is a consensual relationship and he does make me do this because i am subordinate to him.

[chriscdi]

well then you shouldn't do it, what happens when you say no

[Mickey9999]

I agree with @chridcdi. In your replies in this thread you go from him making you to it’s all consensual. It’s consensual if you are being submissive and agree to it and what he “makes” you do. But if you’re not comfortable in any act of subordination then it’s not right. In a Dom/sub relationship there are always boundaries or limits for any given person and no Dom should MAKE you do anything that you do jot consent to. Yes it may be just a sense of terminology but you asked the question. As long as your dancing and the chains are ok with you then it’s all ok. If you don’t like the chains because of the weight or whatever, then you have every right to say so and your boyfriend has the obligation to change the situation... maybe lighter chains is all it takes... that’s a negotiation for the two of you

[DANCINGGIRL99]

@Mickey9999 I thank you for your consern i do have a safe word and I have used it before because slipped when dancing and sprained my ankle. The chains are light chains for dancing heavy ones would be a danger for injury. And to simplify when I say consensual and also say he makes me the terms of our agreement are that I gave up the right to bodily autonomy in certain areas. So basically if I don't feel it's a threat to my health or it cause anxiety, impacts my mental health, etc. Then I have to try it. If I dont like after I try it then I don't have to do it. But I consented to the terms of the agreement that our relationship is built on. So in brief I consent to him having control over me in areas of what I wear and sexual pleasure so long as they do not impact my mental or physical health.

[jshm2]

Seems he's into abuse and BDSM.

If the stuff is leaving marks on you, then quit him.

[DANCINGGIRL99]

Bdsm yes but he's not abusing me. I've seen stuff like that but he didn't hit me or anything. He just likes it when I dance because he thinks I shows off my body and is suductive. Neither of us is into rough sex

[Iron_Man]

Basically he’s using you for real life sex fantasies

[DANCINGGIRL99]

Kinda. I also liked dancing and he liked watching me dance so we kinda fell in love

[Iron_Man]

The next thing after he’s bored With that he will be using you for threesomes. Wanting you to perform lesbian acts

[Sreenivasa_1998]

I think he likes submissive sex to know about it watch Fifty shades of grey movie

[Levin]

Kinky stuff.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry what was your question again?