Why do guys lie about having girlfriends and do you think he’d leave her for me if I was closer to him?

Question

This guy lied to me the whole year we were talking about being single. I’ve asked him twice about his relationship status he always confessed he had no girlfriend and was single. So we continued speaking. I stated to develop strong feelings for him. We met up twice he took me on a date and couldn’t stop touching me and kissing my hands and touching my hair and keep his eyes off me. He said I smelled nice and I was glowing. He also kept on checking me out all the time. It’s like he was staring right in my soul. We had sex and he always got distant after sex. Even though the sex was good. We sexted a lot and he use to say stuff how I make him bad and how he’s not like that with anyone else and how he wishes i lived closer so we can meet up more. He said he doesn’t want a ldr with me as ldr never works and he’s prefer seeing me everyday. Also he kept on asking me to hurry up and visit him in he’s town as he couldn’t wait to see me. I did go see him again and it was a disaster. Yeah we spent time and stuff but he fucked me over!! At the end it ended up with us unfollowing each other. Thing is I stayed for two days in his home town and he didn’t turn up the next day to see me as we planned he texted he was coming and then I never heard anything back. So then I found out he had a girlfriend all this time. She is someone I didn’t think he’d go for. I’m not being big headed but I thought I was more his type as he goes for dark tanned girls with dark hair. Why would he lie to me all this time he convinced me he’s always honest with me since we started talking. I’m so gutted and devastated he did this. Do you guys think he even likes his own girlfriend to be doing this to her?

whatdoyouwantt · Accepted Answer

Girl if you are smart let that dude go. He’s never going to leave her and even if he does, he will do the same to you. This dude has obviously commitments issues and trust me he has no real plans with you, neither with her. He’s just that type of guy. He might find you very attractive and wants to be sexual with you but he will never be a dating material. I bet you are at least honest with a person you have good intentions with and second thing if he was so into being with you, he’d drop her immediately. What is stopping him from doing that? It’s not like he has a gun over his head.

Just do yourself a favour. You are way more than a mf mistress, come on have some value. I bet you are pretty and won’t have trouble finding decent guys.

Ps: I used to be in similar situation, ps he is still with her. She is like 10 years older than him, fat and really not pretty. Just so you know. I was also naive. He had her when he met me and I didn’t know about it until I found it out by myself. He didn’t want to talk about her and he was always promising a better future. His wife is naive, she’s even caught him cheating but she is still with him. Apparently he has benefits from her and that’s what keeps him with her. He used to tell me it was just me, then when I found out about it he said it’s just a friend helping him and so on. He never was honest. He was also very aggressive if I wanted to ask anything about them. You know I didn’t want to be the bad woman but he manipulated me into it and cause I really liked him and he helped me with confidence, I eventually gave in. It was keep happening until I nearly got pregnant. And since she also has 2 kids with him, I didn’t want to be his babymama, neither break them up and neither wanted his baby tbh. So that time I was going to real depression, cause I was so scared. Thank god I wasn’t pregnant m, then I never took him back. Oh let me mention, I also got std checked, just in case. This guys might sleep with various girls. I bet he still cheats.. he always will.

Alyssa11 · Accepted Answer

Ok don't be that girl. Seriously. My ex-fiancee cheated on me with a girl like you so you would know how I feel about this :/.

You need to have standards, so that you can have a decent relationship. Dating a single man should go without saying - it's not even a standard!!!

All I'm saying is how you get them is how you lose them. This guy will NEVER commit to you.

jiffybutter · Accepted Answer

Yeah I think he likes his own girlfriend and he likes you at the same time apparently. Love isn't singular that's fantasy. You can love both of your parents or more than one of your kids right? He may have a type but types evolve. Do you eat the same candy bar all the time and do you think you will never try another? The lying is a problem. Try to understand he did it because he lives in a time and place that tells him his feelings are wrong. He can't fight it so he lies. BUT that doesn't mean you should accept his lying because he knew he could f you over as you said and he did. You can't just let that go but you should let him go peacefully... in your mind and stuff... and move on. Even if you think you can accept his lifestyle the guy f'd you over. You can't trust him and it's not for you to stand around and wait for him to find his honesty. Hey thanks for stalking me by the way. You're my first follower on here I feel famous.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

What he thinks and what he feels is irrelevant, because you can't control his behavior or make him change in any way. Why would you possibly want this guy in your life after the way he has lied to you. He is a cheater and if you get in a relationship with him, you will be the next victim of his cheating.

"Knowing" someone long distance is okay but not the same thing as knowing them because you spend time together. When you met up, you still didn't know him very well, although you probably convinced yourself that you did. You assumed that he was great so you jumped into bed with him. You set it up so that he could use you for sex when you had actually had very little reason to trust him. Learn a lesson from this experience. Be more careful and don't give your body to someone else so freely.

jaju45 · Answer

The same thing has happened with me. The girl betrayed me in same way. It has nothing to do with guys or girls. Some people are bullshit. Can't help.
What I suggest is, the more you try to sort or think about this the more you will suffer.
Try to spend more time with your friends, family or pets or do anything that you love. Keep yourself occupied. It's very difficult initially but you are strong enough to deal with this.
Just erase the existence of that guy from your life. Act like you never met him ever. It's a tough time for you but don't let this thing break you.

Hazelstar99 · Answer

I think he is just a douche who likes to have 2 chicks. If he was serious about you he would've broken up with that girl over a text. Men divided the church so that they could be with the woman they want. The problem is not his girlfriend but him. This guy didn't have the decency to come up clean and treat you right. There are decent men out there. Don't waste your time over this dude!

Stevepro68 · Answer

If the foundation of a relationship is a lie, then it's doomed!!! doomed I tell you! Don't waste your time if you really want a relationship.
If you want someone to f%$k, and your attracted too, until you find someone you really like, then he is fine.

art_hoe · Answer

he either don't wants to date u or wants to make you jealous. but if he really had a girlfriend it depends if he's a jerk or not would he leave her. if he actually does have a girlfriend and leaves her, he might do the same thing to u, so then don't go for it. but like, investigate more but tbh don't get too madly in love cuz it will hurt more than it should

Berethor · Answer

It's true that long distance relationships don't work but you could offered him to move to his house, then he was able to see you everyday without any problem. So I see that your main concern is not that he lied to you, your main concern is that you want him to leave his girlfriend for you.

SweetDisaster · Answer

Obviously he doesn't have respect for neither of you. His a completely @sshole who took advantage of you and screw up lie not just to you but to his girlfriend. You should let her know because she also deserves the true. After that move on dear you can do better. Now it's up to the girlfriend is she wants to forgive or let go.

Tiffanyloves2swallow · Answer

i had a simular situation like this before when i was in my early 20 but if he is lying to u it was cuz he was prolly starting to gain feelings for u but maybe didn't have the heart to end it with his girlfriend, he was prolly having a lot of mixed feelings between u and the girlfriend, didn't want to hurt either one of u but it is still no excuse to lie to u he should of just been straight honest with u, how did u find out he had a girlfriend?

scorpy04 · Answer

Guys lie because they enjoy the risk feeling of decite and that buzz No thought they are being selfish Have no empathy for the hearts they break Its just The fake apology are so well thought out that a lot of partners give them another chance Just like you to know i have never cheated but I have been cheated on

fierysoul · Answer

this guy and other guys like him are just liers they will lie and pretend they love you and someday puff! their just gone don't know why they do it never will understand them god knows why they can't enjoy a nice relation with a girl

or maybe they just want to try a different girl

off god knows XD

Paul09 · Answer

Wow. please stop it. Forget him, not worth your time. Why do women keep falling for a-holes? If he's cheating on his girlfriend, you think he would stop at you? Hell no. He is getting his way I hope karma hits him super hard. He just wants sex from you, he just wants your body. I hope you live and you learn... These types do not deserve anyone.

wankiam · Answer

initially its more likely to be just about sex but you know he is a liar so whether it is just a sex thing or if he might want a relationship, the fact he is a liar should act as a serious red flag

CakesNCream · Answer

I'm pretty sure this is that Bratz doll account because all she did was ask about this same situation and you've pretty much told the same story.  Girl, move on already. This is getting old.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Why do women lie about being single or divorced when they really married? The blanket question Of men’s behavior and assuming ‘all’ mendo this cuts both ways... but seriously, why do ‘some’ women do this?

Unit1 · Answer

I'm not gonna read 90% of this wall of text but I can comprehend the situation just from the 10% I did read of it.

These guys want only sex and nothing more.
More pussy. More fun. Yes, we love sex that much, that some guys cheat.

SunnyCaliGirl · Answer

I’m so sorry to hear you got used, that guy dose not deserve your attention for testing you like that

Stellaluna84 · Answer

Stay away from this guy, he sounds totally toxic. Even if he did break up with her, how could you be sure he wouldn’t do the same thing to you?

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

If he's traveling 3 to 4 hours to be with her, then he likes her, not you. You're just someone convenient for him to have sex with when he can't get to her since you're geography close to him. You need to move on.

Browneye57 · Answer

You're a complete loser. Sorry. He owes you nothing, you have an entitlement mentality that will be your undoing.
Find another guy, one that's not encumbered.
And it's a LDR? What a waste. Time to get real.

ThisAndThat · Answer

Having extra's on the side, that's usually women. But, he's a player that's what's obvious. How did you meet him in the first place and what got you interested in him?

Anonymous · Answer

I'd guess he thinks you're hot, you've made yourself sexual available to him, he likes the chase, and you've been a low maintenance occasional extra.
He lied because it achieved his aims, and you enabled him.

Why do guys lie about having girlfriends and do you think he’d leave her for me if I was closer to him?

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