Is it normal to get a 'platonic crush' when you are in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I'm having a really hard time. There's a guy I find really attractive at my gym, more so than his physique, the fact he knows exactly what he's doing is pretty attractive. I love my boyfriend, but if I'm being honest, he's been gaining some weight and I feel terrible saying but I feel like I'm losing the sexual spark and I feel SO bad finding myself attractive to this person. Is this normal?

Updates

+1 y

boom

[virgin20]

It's called wondering eye.
If you are losing the spark with your boyfriend, there's not much you can do. It would be too offensive to say to your boyfriend to lose weight.
If you feel like the guy in the gym could be the one or at least better than your boyfriend, maybe it's worth the swap, just don't cheat!

[DrunkAss]

I think so. Well, I hope so. I don't think love should make us blind. And if our partners are really letting themselves go, then we should wanna fix it... or find a replacement.

[DrunkAss]

I think it's about personality though. Cause your boyfriend is putting on weight how? Being a slob, right? That's a personality thing. Whereas this guy in the gym, he's being organized, disciplined, active... he has his life together. And that, at least at surface level, is a superior personality.

[Asker]

Well my boyfriend comes to the gym too, but his diet is not the best lol, I've been trying to help him because I'm actually a coach, so I wrote him a program for nutrition and the gym but he's obviously not as passionate about this as I am. We both like doing things outdoors and stuff but I'm super passionate about fitness, so I think that's why I'm finding myself attracted to this person, he obviously enjoys it too. He has like perfect technique and stuff. I'm really nerdy when it comes to training and every time I talk about it with my boyfriend he looks bored lmao I'd like to have more friends to talk about this things and ye... I dunno. I'm so frustrated ahaha coz I feel so bad

[DrunkAss]

I got sort of a similar experience but with my friends. My wife is in pretty decent shape although she never nerded out on it as I did. But my friends really didn't get my obsession with eating balanced macros nad micros, meal planning is boring to most people (they love food much more than I do; I love being energetic and strong), and I really started to admire even the gym rats. It also expanded my taste in women. I used to not like women who were so lean that they'd have chiseled abs and whatnot (liked a little more body fat on a girl originally), but it's like being serious about it made me realize these were really disciplined people. Our bodies are maybe the first and most obvious signs of our discipline or lack thereof. I've let mine slip a bit this year. I gotta get back on track.

[DrunkAss]

But I never got into the whole idea of "shallow". I suspect some people might really be superficial but I always thought there's a personality difference that conveys itself even in our bodies. Our bodies reflect what we eat, what we do each day, whether we want to lie down when we have a break or do something exhilirating. It can't be that divorced from "personality". They're intertwined.

[Asker]

Yeah exactly. I fully get that, like I love tracking my stuff. I LOVE DATA lol, I track everything from sleep to my numbers at the gym and my macro and micro nutrients. I feel like maybe I just need to expand my friendships and find likeminded people coz I mean I don't want to force it on him if that's not what he likes. Might not even be a full on crush what I have on this guy, I think is partly admiring and recognising he looks pretty damn good. I think is normal to find other people attractive while you're in a relationship. As I said, I freaking love my boyfriend but yeh, just weird what I'm feeling

[magiusX26]

no such thing as a platonic crush

[Asker]

What do you mean?