Is it normal to have crushes while in a committed relationship?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend for a few years, and I really love him. the problem is, I've developed a crush on another guy. my boyfriend is totally awesome, really supportive of me, and we have a lot in common. the other guy is my exact opposite. he isn't a jerk exactly, but has a stand-offish attitude, and has opinions about things that are way different than mine.

he hasn't come out and said he's into me, but there are definite signs that he might be. I don't really want to break up with my boyfriend, but I don't know why I feel so strongly about this other guy. do other girls have the same problem? what should I do, pursue the other guy or stick with my current boyfriend?

[xaitha]

Yes it is perfectly normal to have a crush on another man/woman whilst with your partner. We are all attracted to famous people aren't we ?! ... Ok, that's a bit more extreme, but the point I'm making is the same. As to whether or not you you should stick with your guy or move on ?? .... You sound as if you really love your boyfriend and are you sure the other guy is really giving you signs he's into you ?? Perhaps because of your crush, you're seeing things that aren't there ?? ...

Hunterboyz makes some good points, but at the end of the day you've got to make your own decision and live with it. Personally, I wouldn't give up someone I loved for someone I just attracted to.

[Acuzio]

This is pretty normal... Stay with the same person long enough, and you're almost certain to develop an interest in someone with near polar opposite characteristics. It comes from the simple desire for variety of interactions. What will keep your current relationship together is realizing that this opposite is not what you really want--it's just a fleeting crush, and the risk of pursuing it is probably not worthwhile.

[Phoenix019]

i couldn't agree more! I'm in an amazing relationship with a guy who somehow manages to give loving support yet be a sexy bad guy all wrapped up into one. yet, i love having a variety of interactions with many kinds of people. I find that I still get crushes on different guys (which is annoying sometimes when they get stuck in my head). it's nice to know that I am still catching the eye of people i find attractive! but even if that happens, I know there's no way I would leave my boyfriend to pursue someone else. We just work way too well together and are still really attracted to each other. After doing some research on the matter, I think crushes are full of untapped human potential because they get us fired up for something new. they are fun to have because they are designed to be pleasant for us. the energy and vigor that crushes provide can be used for growth and discovery for yourself, that isn't just about catching someone's eye

[sexwiseman]

I just want to emphasize the fact.....look around the posts on this board---people trying to find that perfect partner, heck, just that good partner. You seem to have that already, and you're contemplating leaving that for some insignificant guy that shows up. Not to beat the dead horse, but that would be a foolish, foolish thing to do.

[Superstrength79]

If you didn't find people attractive, then you'd lose interest in your boyfriend real fast. Your attraction to him keeps you together. Whenever you find that you are attracted to someone new, just remind yourself that all your relationship functions are still working properly :)

[Hunterboyz]

Remember this always!

"You never leave the one you Love for someone you Like."

Thats because the one you like will not leave their other for you.

The grass is not greener on the other side.

A crush happens, but Its your actions that define you.

Its human to find the opposite sex attractive.

"Stick wit'cha entree and get over your side"

Sincerly,

A Loving Black Man

[sexwiseman]

Man, couldn't have been said any better!!!! never leave the one you love for the one you like! so damn true!

[sexybrunette]

So true! I was thinking the same thing.