K (M32) and I (F30) met while online gaming. We've been seeing each other off and on since last July, but we've only met in person once (I live in GA, he lives in MA). It was an amazing time and I felt it brought us closer together. We have been deeply in love from the start (or at least I have been) because we had so much chemistry and so much in common. We primarily spend time in a discord server with our mutual friends. His friend who owns the server began opening it up to the public. That's when L (19) joined.
L was odd, she'd always hang out in public calls with us but never talk even if we addressed her. I then noticed K would stay up all night long in calls with L and they would be posting lots of gifs/jokes in public chats. I got jealous and brought this to his attention. He told me I had nothing to worry about and that he was just trying to build a friendship with a shy person. I was still uncomfortable, but let it go to avoid conflict.
K and I had been discussing moving in with one another since I own a house and he doesn't like living in MA. He had been on board prior to meeting L, but suddenly he was hesitant. I noticed this but didn't push the issue. He said he'd need to think about it and I told him to take his time. I address the L situation again and say I'm annoyed that she's flirting with him. He said he didn't think she was. I said "of course she is, she has a crush on you." And he said that hit him like a ton of bricks.
Two days later, after playing a game together where we were flirting like normal, he calls me and tells me he can't commit to me. He's fallen for L, but he doesn't want to lose me because I'm his best friend. I was blindsided. It has caused a huge tear in our friend group and him and L have been flirting non-stop publicly on discord. The server owner refuses to address it. I feel disrespected, angry, disgusted, and heartbroken.
What should I do?
My (F30) narcissistic boyfriend (M32) left me for a 19 year-old. He wants to stay best friends, what should I do?
