My boyfriend is going through a rough time?

[Anonymous]

and he's just asked for some time alone.. like not necessarily a break because we're in a long distance relationship, he just wants to just pause talking to me & just chat when he's ready.

he barely talks to his friends here too so I'm not the only one he's talking to less..

but how long should I give him before I try talking to him again? because I'm worried about him, although I know he can pull through this..

[Broseph2112]

I understand that this is easier said than done. However, it might be best to just express to him that you care about him and that you will be there when he needs you, and then just leave the ball in his court. I know that the tension, and anxiety of wanting to talk to him will be extremely difficult to deal with, but just do it. The wounds will heal, and time will make it easier, just make sure to take care of yourself and try to keep yourself distracted as much as possible until you settle into the situation. Long distance relationships are rough even when the couple have the independency to travel and see each other. However, absence also makes the heart grow fonder, so perhaps he just needs to figure out what's going on. But, in the end, look after yourself and truly be happy with just you. That is one of the essential personal traits to embrace for creating happy, healthy, and sustaining relationships.

[Asker]

thanks :) I've expressed to him that I'm here for him for anything he wants, like if he wants to talk or anything & have also told him that I understand what he's going through & it is hard because I've gotten used to our communication. I guess a part of me really wanted us to talk a lot before I got really busy with school.. but school is distracting me at the moment & thank you for that comment, its something no one's told me & what I needed to hear :)

[TheMNkid24]

It all depends on the person and the situation. Needing some space in my experiecnce has ranged from a night or two to almost 3 weeks. Like the other girl said, let him do what he needs to do. I mean its not really related but I'm around people a lot and when I get back to my place I just really really really want to do things for me.. put my phone on silent, watch tv, make music, cook, listen to music, whatever it may be. but I don't wanna be bothered by anyone. Maybe that's what he needs right now is not the burden of two people on his shoulders right now, he needs to focus 100% on himself. hope this helped.

[Asker]

hmm yeahh I'm like that too when I get home :) especially when I'm going through something, I just want to be by myself. but he's kind of the person who'll try to distract himself, so I'm guessing he's overworking himself & I'm jst worried he's doing too much.. he's trying to get over the loss of a family member he looked up to & its been like 2 months since it happened & about a month since we last talked so I'm just hoping he's alright,there's not much I can do if he hasn't talked to me. thanks :)

[TheMNkid24]

No problem and I really hope that things work out for you. Losing loved ones is really tough and something that we can never anticipate fully. I would say just send him a text or a voicemail let him know that you care and you are there and that you hope everything is OK. Don't push him to get back into the swing of things by saying " I hope to hear back from you soon" or anything.

[Asker]

thanks again :) yeah I understand what he's going through because I've been through it before and it took me a while to fully get over it and like because we live in 2 different continents, his friends over here ( he only went away last year) have barely heard from him either so we're all just waiting & I've already sent him an email saying something along the lines of that so yeahh thanks :)

[chelseababe]

My advice would to just give him some space and when he is ready he will get back in contact with you. the same thing happened to me. my ex wanted to have some space and with in 2 weeks we was back in contact.

hope this helps hun. xxxx

[Asker]

thanks :) like I understand his situation, because he's grieving over a loved one but its been a month already & I'm just worried that he's overworking himself just to get distracted & that because he's overworking himself he's just easily tired & doesn't have enough energy to stay up and talk to me.. but I'm also wondering how long it'll probably take for him to start moving on, you know?