My boyfriend and I have known each other for years, and have been together a year this Sunday. I love him so much. He does everything for me. He knows what to say and how to help me in every way possible. But I don't.
He has been going through a lot recently. Both financially and emotionally, I suppose. He is really stuck with money, his mother owes him over 1k and between me snd you i dont think she has the intention to give him it back, with him buying her a car after hers literally won't work (he's a mechanic, if that helps) he and his family are getting evicted and have 6 weeks to leave, they haven't found a house yet. His Aunty died last week (he wasn't very close with her but still a shock none the less) he hit his head at work, had to get it glued then went BACK to work after being told NOT TO by the doctors!!! He's really going through it at the moment, and I don't know what to do. He seems to be his normal self. As resilient as he is, he needs support, and I need to give it to him. I want to tell him to stop lending his mother money at every giving moment. I want him to take his holidays off work. I want to take care of him. But I can't. I can't get involved between him and his mother, I can't tell him what to do financially or with anything else. He's my comfort person, but I don't think I'm his. Which breaks me even if I understand.
I'm not sure if this is relevant, but we are at different stages in our lives, I suppose? He's in his second last year of his apprenticeship. He drives and has a car. Whereas I'm literally just starting uni, I'm learning to drive, don't have a car, and work in kfc part-time. So, literally, what do I do
He has been going through a lot recently. Both financially and emotionally, I suppose. He is really stuck with money, his mother owes him over 1k and between me snd you i dont think she has the intention to give him it back, with him buying her a car after hers literally won't work (he's a mechanic, if that helps) he and his family are getting evicted and have 6 weeks to leave, they haven't found a house yet. His Aunty died last week (he wasn't very close with her but still a shock none the less) he hit his head at work, had to get it glued then went BACK to work after being told NOT TO by the doctors!!! He's really going through it at the moment, and I don't know what to do. He seems to be his normal self. As resilient as he is, he needs support, and I need to give it to him. I want to tell him to stop lending his mother money at every giving moment. I want him to take his holidays off work. I want to take care of him. But I can't. I can't get involved between him and his mother, I can't tell him what to do financially or with anything else. He's my comfort person, but I don't think I'm his. Which breaks me even if I understand.
I'm not sure if this is relevant, but we are at different stages in our lives, I suppose? He's in his second last year of his apprenticeship. He drives and has a car. Whereas I'm literally just starting uni, I'm learning to drive, don't have a car, and work in kfc part-time. So, literally, what do I do
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Honestly you may just have to leave him. If his mother is always going to take priority you’ll never be happy. It’s a hard thing for a man to leave his mother. A lot of women call men mama’s boys, mainly because they don’t have sons theirselves so they will never really understand that bond. Even if his father left more than likely mom was always there for boys growing up. So yes it’s hard to leave them. Chances are he won’t listen to what you say about lending her money. If I lend someone money I just look at it as money I won’t get back, that way I’m not upset about it. At the same time if it doesn’t come back I’m not going to keep lending that person money. If he’s like most men he’s going to try to figure this out on his own. He’s probably ok, he may be quite at times cause he’s trying to figure out what to do.
Give him an "old fashioned".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9VrpmT8eiUhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oE87C4fHhIQ
Really just having a loving, loyal partner being there can mean the world to us.