Help! Giving my boyfriend hard time due to anxiety disorder?

Hi all, I am together with my boyfriend for a year. He;s been absolutely amazing and supportive. When I met him he was going through OCD and anxiety and was recovering from an episode due to overdose. We both came clean (I've been using drugs also) while being together and through bonding we managed to overcome a lot of these issues. He is now thriving, went back to his studies, re-united with this friends and overall he succeeded normalizing his life. I've been there through it all, it was a tough ride but never thought giving up. My issues weren't that heavy, I was still functioning adult, with a great career and social life but recently due to extra stress from work & personal ambition to advance my career which didn't succeed, I've gone depressed and anxious. I've been giving my boyfriend a hard time navigating my mood swings. Sometimes I feel like I go into maniac episodes where I feel completely worthless and lose faith in our relationship. He found me a therapist and has been pushing me to face this and overcome it. I asked him to break up because I didn't think it was fair for him to suffer because of me. He emphatically said no and that he'll never consider ending it cause he loves me and its just a rough period but he's confident that we'll get through this. He admitted that he made it his mission to help me because I was there for him and with my love and support he got back his life and now he wants to do the same for me. We had a small argument 2 days ago which exacerbated due to my anxiety. He asked me to work on myself while being together as he doesn't think I should do this on my own (meaning to break up so I can work on myself). I feel a horrible person for putting him in this position. I said some hurtful things to him which I regretted, I am full of guilt and shame. How can I handle myself so I don't sabotage a beautiful relationship? I know he's hurting every time I bring up separation.
Help! Giving my boyfriend hard time due to anxiety disorder?
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