Help! Giving my boyfriend hard time due to anxiety disorder?

[Anonymous]

Hi all, I am together with my boyfriend for a year. He;s been absolutely amazing and supportive. When I met him he was going through OCD and anxiety and was recovering from an episode due to overdose. We both came clean (I've been using drugs also) while being together and through bonding we managed to overcome a lot of these issues. He is now thriving, went back to his studies, re-united with this friends and overall he succeeded normalizing his life. I've been there through it all, it was a tough ride but never thought giving up. My issues weren't that heavy, I was still functioning adult, with a great career and social life but recently due to extra stress from work & personal ambition to advance my career which didn't succeed, I've gone depressed and anxious. I've been giving my boyfriend a hard time navigating my mood swings. Sometimes I feel like I go into maniac episodes where I feel completely worthless and lose faith in our relationship. He found me a therapist and has been pushing me to face this and overcome it. I asked him to break up because I didn't think it was fair for him to suffer because of me. He emphatically said no and that he'll never consider ending it cause he loves me and its just a rough period but he's confident that we'll get through this. He admitted that he made it his mission to help me because I was there for him and with my love and support he got back his life and now he wants to do the same for me. We had a small argument 2 days ago which exacerbated due to my anxiety. He asked me to work on myself while being together as he doesn't think I should do this on my own (meaning to break up so I can work on myself). I feel a horrible person for putting him in this position. I said some hurtful things to him which I regretted, I am full of guilt and shame. How can I handle myself so I don't sabotage a beautiful relationship? I know he's hurting every time I bring up separation.

[Anonymous]

He owes you. Let him help you. Open your heart to his love. From what you’ve written here, he has your best interests at heart, and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind it if you felt that you needed some distance from him for a while to work through some of your issues, On a separate note though, you need to address the cause of your work-related stress, and only you can do that. The truth in life is that we often times believe we know what is best for us, but we are wrong. We pray for certain specific things to happen when really, we should be praying for what is best for us to happen. Only a higher power can know what is actually best for us. So you may think this “setback” at your workplace is a huge setback, but what if it’s actually an enormous favor? A change in perspective might help more than you think and remember that our brains control our happiness. It is based on the voice inside our head that tells us what we want to believe and how we interpret and react to life circumstances. And we are only human, so sometimes, we reevaluate our own perspectives because we make mistakes. The good thing is that we can change that voice and our perspective in an instant. So practice this. Also remember how many people have it worse than you do and don’t take things for granted. :)

[Anonymous]

you could grow a vagina and a set of ovaries pull your big girl panties up get off the pity pot and quit whining and crying about every little thing and how life is so unfair whoa is me bullshit. it's called living in the real world and your safe space bullshit isn't going to work in the real world. it's a cold hearted place so get used to it buttercup

what is it with you fucking millennials anyways

[Asker]

what makes you think that im whining over every little thing? Mental illness was rated number 1 illness according to WHO and thanks to you bloomers we inherited a fucked up financial system and world in which lots of 90s capitalistic decisions defined & while our incomes are shirking significantly compared to what your generation would make straight out of college, we are even judged for not being able to handle it. You could afford a good life for the standard of your generation, a house and a good job that offered stability. Lots of the uncertainty we are dealing with you didn't have to consider in my age so please save the lecture for somebody who would take your words at value. If am battling with depression & anxiety I have my reasons, clinical or not that led there and calling it a pity party and the other non-sense you wrote shows how non-aware you must be on mental health issues. So yes, it is a cold hearted place but most of the stuff we didn't cause and have to deal with, inflation & every day risk of losing your job because we are disposable and replaceable professionally and we got non of the security guarantees or safety net that our parents and grand-parents could built after 5+ years of working even. Truth is that we haven't quite adjusted to the new realities of the world as millennials and unfortunately we are getting forced to the hard way. Calling us spoiled & weak is unfair to say the least.

[Opinion Owner]

ok if you're done rambling on first i'm not a piece of shit boomer as i utterly despise that generation of fuckers more then you millennials and secondly i too live in this fucked up country but i'm not here whining about it because i could care less

[Asker]

what's your constructive feedback though? didn't get it cause I felt defensive being judged and blamed on & that's exactly why I dislike opening up about it. I am happy for you that you're resilient and can take everything. I am currently building it, only looking for a way to not push my partner away while doing that.

[Opinion Owner]

just gotta toughen up that's all there's no magic formula to it