My boyfriend's brother is so mean and disrespecting towards me. And my boyfriend is supporting his brother. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

[OrdinaryDaniel]

Maybe ask why. I don't think he would be mean to you for no reason, there must be a reason at least. If not then maybe tell your boyfriend that you can't be in a relationship like this where you are being harrassed for no reason.

[Asker]

His brother is feeling that I am distracting my boyfriend studies, and he don't want him to continue his relationship with me and telling all mean things to me about how I'm spoiling his brother! Does my love and affection affect his studies? I think no! He is so jealous of the way I'm loving and caring about my boyfriend!

[Asker]

His brother doesn't want my boyfriend to speak with me and he made my boyfriend forcefully break up with me by threatening him that he will harm me

[Asker]

Now my boyfriend cutted off all the contact with me in fear of his brother's threat on me

[OrdinaryDaniel]

I have seen situation like this before. that either goes both ways. Maybe say to the brother that you can help him study instead of distracting him. prove to him that you are not a nuisance by making sure your boyfriend gets high grades in his next test. I think that is the only way. It is hard for you to win as you are kind of an outside of the family and usually family members pick each other over outsiders.

[Asker]

But I picked him, even when my whole family is against him! Why can't he do the same? Doesn't he love me enough to fight for me?

[OrdinaryDaniel]

Sadly to say I think so. If I love someone so much and my brother hates him for no objective reason. I would fight to keep her. Sorry, but I really don't think he loves you that much.

[Asker]

Feeling it! But he loved me so much more than any other girl! But why not more than his brother?

[OrdinaryDaniel]

Yes, he likes you more than any other girl but some people value family above all else. Maybe your boyfriend is that type of person.

[Asker]

But when he loved me more than any other girl, why can't he fight for me? I understand some people value family more than anyone else, but one should never leave a love for family in my opinion. Because love is all worth fighting for! And he should do it for me. I considered a forever with him. And we even thought to live our rest of lives together. Who are family to break us apart? I never disrespected them in any way. Then why are they doing this to me! We are actually of different religion, and this is also one of the reason their family is not allowing him to be with me, and his brother is so jealous seeing his brother in a relationship with me, so he is telling all these non sense reasons to make us get apart. My love is acting so immature, and he is letting fear rule his life. He isn't afraid lf anyone except his brother! And his brother is taking advantage of it

[OrdinaryDaniel]

If you really still want to be with him. Find a way to contact him and persuade him to change his mind. you both could meet each other in private.

Sometimes life is unfair to us and we can't get what we want. We have to move on and deal with it. Like I said, in your situation, it is hard to win no matter what.

[Asker]

I will try a way where his brother or family won't know about us passing information with each other, and I will know his feeling first, and then proceed if he is feeling the same way to fight for me.

[alexander3244]

If your boyfriend's arguments for supporting his brother is an obvious bs, leave him.

[Asker]

He is somewhat supporting his brother, and somewhat me, but more than me he is supporting his brother only. I don't know y

[alexander3244]

Family thing, I guess. Are you sure that his brother's criticism is absolutely false? Is he willing to listen to you? Your boyfriend should step up and help you both mend fences, or make sure that you don't see each other, that's what you should say to your boyfriend in my opinion.

[Asker]

Yes, he values his brother a lot. But that doesn't mean his brother should devalue me

[Asker]

His brother hates me because I love and care for my boyfriend so much. He don't want my boyfriend to be with me

[alexander3244]

Your boyfriend should talk some sense into his brother's head, it's not for a sibling to decide what who makes other sibling happy, unless they are clearly have bad influence on a sibling. Just don't be passive and tell your boyfriend to solve it either by making you closer to each other or not seeing each other at all.

[Asker]

He is ready to lose me for him!😕

[alexander3244]

Unfortunately, we can't control our destiny. If your boyfriend is really important to you, I guess the best thing you can do is to remind him why you like him so much, so then he'll think twice before letting you go. Again, he has to be a bridge between you and his brother, if his brother ignores you or whatever.

[Asker]

I reminded him just to get pushed away even hardly

[Asker]

He is begging me to leave him since his brother beaten him for being with him

[Asker]

He is begging me to leave him since his brother beaten him for being with me*

[alexander3244]

Very sorry to hear :( So, he's totally against the idea of a secret relationship or just running away from his brother?

[Asker]

Maybe! But maximum I seen boys doing anything for a girl. He is rare kind! And I don't want this type of person who leaves me for his brother

[alexander3244]

Is his brother stupid in your opinion? Why do you think he can't accept you?
Sending you hugs 🤗🤗🤗

[Asker]

His brother wants him to study and not focus on any relationships

[Asker]

He wants me but isn't dare enough to go against his brother. He tried being secretive about us, but it all failed resulting in his brother's warnings if we contact again. I can't blame him, because he don't want me to be affected by police, etc, my life for him. But I am ready to do anything for him. How to let him know this?

[alexander3244]

Just because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean that he will study better, that's for sure. On the contrary, if you crave for someone, there is a good chance you will study worse, so that's just stupid.

Good question. I think if you say that you'll leave him for "studying" period and then come back, that could do the trick. How long is he going to study before he'll be able to stand up to his brother?

[Asker]

Still 2 years of study left. I don't think so he will wait for me. And if I don't fight for him now, I will definitely lose him for the good. And he will move on and situations will go unexplained

[alexander3244]

Yeah, that's tough. I'm not saying to cut off everything completely, you could text him a few times a week and send words of encouragement to study better. It will be really tough but I really don't see other way for you, sorry. You could try to go through this hell for two years, with no guarantee of success but with a chance that he'll appreciate you and get married with you (if that's your ultimate plan), or you can make some sloppy move and get pushed away even harder. Hopefully, his brother didn't just make an excuse to get rid of you but will change his opinion about you if you'll do what I suggested. You know, some people are just sick and you can't change them no matter what you do. Sorry, I'm out of ideas.

[Asker]

He already cutted me off completely on his brother's words. Now not even talking with me.

[Asker]

If I even had a single chance, I would have used it. My every chance was attacked by his brother and his brother made him cut me off completely by threatening him that he will make me get arrested with police if we talk again anytime

[Asker]

His brother first time beaten him and he is completely shattered and felt cutting off would not make problems worse. He priortized his family over me

[Asker]

He loved me more than any other girl in this world, but not more than his brother

[alexander3244]

That's just heartbreaking. Stay strong, you'll find another one some day or maybe he even come back 🤗🤗🤗

[Asker]

No matter whom I'm finding, they aren't loving me the way he did, and the loyalty he gave me is something which I'm never finding in others

[Asker]

He may not come back because he is listening his brother's words

[alexander3244]

I guess that's something like spending a steamy night with him won't help, so you probably should move on if he's not willing to stand up to his brother. It's like a checkmate, you see. Please, don't lose hope, work on yourself and you'll find your prince one day. I'm sorry to break it to you but you should get rid of any associations about him because most likely your pain will never stop unless you remove him from your life completely. I still think about one girl from time to time but I feel okay now after almost two years, and ready to find new love. Stay strong!

[Asker]

I regret why I loved and cared for him at the first place. I didn't wanted to break in this way

[Little_Bumblebee]

I would break up - especially if the boyfriend supports it. That's just not okay.

[Asker]

He's kind of confused whom to support and whom not to. He is in a dilemma. He loves us both so much. But his brother is controlling him so much in a way that he should listen him at any cost. He is threatening him that if he don't listen him, he will harm me. So, he have no choice but to support his brother. What should I do?

[Little_Bumblebee]

How you tell it makes it sound like you have no other choice. The brother is a horrible brother and he sounds abusive.
I would still break it up if your boyfriend cannot get out of that situation.

[Asker]

My boyfriend only broke up with me due to his brother's force. What should I do now? I don't want to lose him for his brother. I want him to fight for me

[Little_Bumblebee]

Well, that's on him... If he cannot fight for you and stand up to his brother then you shouldn't be with someone like that.
But that's really up to you.

[Asker]

I can't even blame him because his brother literally threatened him that he will file a police complaint against me if we ever talk to chat again. And he forcefully made him break up with me by these kind of threats. How can he do this? His brother doesn't want me to be with him and my boyfriend doesn't realize his own rights being a major, and he just don't want police to arrest me, so he took the decision of breaking up. He's not even talking with me now due to his brother's fear of threats on me. I am ready to risk anything for him. But his brother doesn't even have a right on me to complaint when my boyfriend is a major. Why isn't he realising his own powers and letting fear rule his life? His brother even took off his phone from him for not letting us contact with each other. How to deal with this situation and how to open a communication line with him and how to talk with him? His brother took off his phone, and even blocked me everywhere so that I can't call or message him. He closed all the communication lines! What should I do?

[Maspolomas]

Leave him and find someone else

[Asker]

I don't want to

[Jmmmfi4]

avoid being around him