Why is my bfs older brother so rude and constantly putting down my boyfriend in front of me all the time?

[Anastacia1989]

My bfs older brother shouts in front of everyone and says negative things about his younger brother in front of me - that he’s an idiot and has a bad disability and what do I see in him and that he useless, etc…. why does he do this?

does he hate his brother or is he jealous?

Jealously towards me and his brother

Doesn’t get along with his brither

Other - pls explain

[Ozanne]

As soon as I read "disability" I have to stop you there. Right there, could be the reason why he is irritable, possibly unhappy about his situation, and likely jealous that his younger brother doesn't have a disability and also has a girlfriend. That should answer your question. Whatever the issue is that he's going through, maybe cut him some slack that he's going to be bitter, but it's not on purpose. It might be mainly because he doesn't have a better way of expressing himself or he's feeling anger about his own situation.

[Anastacia1989]

His older bro has it together - married with 3 adorable kids and his wife is a nice person….. but he shows the behaviour of a person with a disability: speaking out inappropriately, being rude, non stop messaging ppl…. even bullying my boyfriend (his younger brother) into going to places and saying he’s the worst person if he doesn’t go or isn’t able to….

Is this all out of jealousy towards him and me?

[Singing_Hollow]

Jealously could be have something to do with it but he is also trying to dominate his brother infront of you in order to humiliate him so he feels powerful. The brother might fancy you and trying to prove his the better man. Happens in nature too.

[Anastacia1989]

Yup this makes plenty of sense that his older bro might be attracted to me and therefore be jealous of us….

[Anastacia1989]

Was this “rude” of my bfs brother or am I overthinking this? ↗

What’s your opinion here?

[DaBiggestBird]

Sometimes it seems like some people just are born as douche bags. Biblically speaking though that would be invalid so, eh, let’s just say some folks discover toxicity and like it enough to make it their personality so he’s just toxic, case closed.

[AviatorTom]

Sounds like he wants you for himself and he's trying to convince you to leave the brother for him.

[Anastacia1989]

The older brother is married with kids….

[AviatorTom]

Maybe he wants a play option.

[Anastacia1989]

Lol that’s just wrong tho…. he even has another kid on the way too…. so why would he want a play option if he’s married with 3 beautiful kids and a wife?

[Likes2drive]

Seems jealous in some sort of way and has insecurities of his own, maybe he isn’t happy with his own life

[Anastacia1989]

He’s married with 3-4 kids…. has full time work but his wife seems to be a bossy type and they argue a lot

[Likes2drive]

Yeah plenty of stress there

[Anastacia1989]

So he’s envious because his brother has it better than he does?

[Likes2drive]

Yeah in a different way since he doesn’t have his type of stress , and brothers sometimes berate each other

[OfMiceandMen]

Could be jealous, if his life isn't where he thinks it should be by now. If his younger brother has his life together, it may make the older brother feel inadequate.

[Anastacia1989]

He’s married with 3 kids an has a 4th one on the way…. His wife pushes him to work hard and kid 4 was her idea….. he harasses my boyfriend about going full time to work as well and then when will my boyfriend have time to see me?

[OfMiceandMen]

Kind of sounds like he should be too busy to have an opinion about his brother. I think he's jealous because he's tied down with family and his brother is able to enjoy life a little with you, and it is so much less complicated.

[Anastacia1989]

Shouldn’t his bro be happy for us? Also why would his bro say I’m too good for his little brother and that I’m stunning/ beautiful? Why does he pick on his younger brother to get a job with more hours that would mean he and I would lose our weekends together?

[OfMiceandMen]

If he's saying you are stunning/beautiful, and suggesting his little bro get more work, perhaps he is trying to get his little bro out of the picture. Open up a window of opportunity because he wants you.

If that's the case, pretty crappy older brother, since he already has a family.

[Jkgordon]

Both your boyfriend should diss him and ask him who are you trying to impress no one is interested in you and them you say exactly enough already get a hobby

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Jealous in front of his brother, you need to tell him to lay off of his brother or you will cut his balls off.

[Anonymous]

It's a brother thing probably. You never give a younger brother an inch. They have to fight for it always and even they've earned it they have to fight to keep it. It's just the way brothers are.

[Sparkie460]

He's able to boss his brother around. He can't do it to his wife so he gives it to his brother

[Anastacia1989]

Ya makes sense

[RedInnocent68]

Sometimes it’s just the vibe between siblings. Especially boys.

[BigDog1989]

Well you know what they say. We like the one we tease, right?

[boobliker]

and maybe just likes putting him and you to war

[Iron_Man]

Talk to your BFF about that