Can I ask his ex if he cheated on her?

[Anonymous]

I recently found out he cheated on me (just happened once). He said that his ex broke up because she was very jealous, but now since finding out he cheated on me, I wonder if he did the same to her and I want to know what the probability is of him cheating again so that I can know whether to stay and put in the effort to let go of the past or move forward to avoid future heartache and regret that I didn't leave the first time.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

First... Are you sure it just happened once. a lot of cheaters say that and a lot of times it was really more than once.
Second- you can, but even if she tells you he did, don't expect he'll admit it. He most probably will say she's lying to cause trouble for him, or because she still wants him...
Third- think long and hard before you decide to stay with someone that cheats. Sometimes there's no going back to the same way the relationship was before the cheating happened.
Forgiveness and forgetting aren't the same thing. Even when we forgive, we'll still remember... And forgiveness doesn't always mean you have to stay with someone to allow them to continue to hurt you... Whatever you decide, good luck💛

[Asker]

Thank you so much for this. I am not sure if it was the only time since he did not tell me anything and I found out about the one. I an hoping but I dont know. If she says he cheated on her I won't stay because then it means that he should've learnt from his mistake then and obviously hasn't. I am super in love with him which makes it much more difficult and we have a dog together but at the end of the day I need to be happy.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If I may say... That he didn't tell you.. That you had to find out is another bad sign. A truly remorseful person will get so bad they can't live with the lie and come clean about it. If you hadn't found out, he'd a kept it a secret/lie. Trust should be earned and it doesn't sound like he's very trustworthy and without that the relationship won't last You do deserve to be happy. But can you be happy with someone that lies, keeps secrets. Those aren't the actions of someone that truly loves someone. You love him, but you also deserve someone that lives you the way you too deserve to be.

[Asker]

Thank you so much 💓 i wish you could meet him though, he is so pleasant and caring never shouts at me and jokes with me cooks dinner. But trust is just so important. Him being amazing in all other facets still doesn't make me feel better. Before I found out I didn't have any suspicion and would've married him. Scary how one fact can change so much.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

When you did find out, was he honest? Or did he lie about it? Deny it? People that lie or cheat, of course they can still have good things about them, isn't that good they get prior to like them? But none of that will matter if you marry him and he cheats again.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

*how they get people

[Wise4myage]

Why bother asking her? Its not going to change anything. Just dump him and move on.

[Avicenna]

Sure, but why not dump him for cheating on you?

[Iron_Man]

Sure ask away

[In_Trance]

No...