Why do people stay in unhealthy and unmarried relationships longer than being married?

[iKarmaJones]

[kyleelyn199723]

This question doesn’t make any sense because there’s no fact behind what you are saying.

[iKarmaJones]

It's not about facts. People do put more energy in unhealthy and unmarried (boyfriend and girlfriend) relationships. People get married and experience the same issues and divorce. I see it all the time.

[kyleelyn199723]

Oh of course it happens. People don’t know when to leave an unhealthy relationship or don’t want to because they feel as if they can’t find somebody else. I feel like you need to put work into a relationship regardless if you are married or not. I’d never get married to someone that doesn’t realize that work needs to go into a relationship regardless what title we are.

[iKarmaJones]

Marriage you make a vow before God and man and not for a long or short term girlfriend or boyfriend relationship. You vow for better or worst, etc.. so you are entitled to work at it. Being in relationships that lead nowhere or have no potential goal towards marriage. Is crazy to stay in because you fear you can't meet someone. But, if what you need in a relationship is not being met, you need to leave the relationship. Stop trying to make it fit what you want. Don't let your wants hurt you.

[kyleelyn199723]

That is only a thought of opinion which is what I’ve been saying from the very beginning. Your general goal is marriage, not everybody in the world has a general goal of marriage. You are plainly trying to make other people’s relationships fit what you want.

[kyleelyn199723]

Vows mean nothing to people these days. They cheat, they leave when their partner is sick, they don’t necessarily love them through thick and thin. If vows meant a single thing to improve a relationship, there would be no cheating amongst married people, which is not true at all

[iKarmaJones]

Annnd, with that thinking about marriage... Why would you put time and effort into relationships that have no goals to lead to "nothing" People today down marriage yet think highly of being a "girlfriend" or "boyfriend"
Why be in a relationship period if you are not going going to get married and start a family? With the world so promiscuous, there's no need to commit yourself to something going nowhere. Just be with said person with no commitment. Enjoy each other company.

And, no, vows don't keep people who don't want to be kept and marry for the wrong reason. But, the point is you made a promise before God and man "to" work at it. Yet, people cheat and divorce. They treat marriage like a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. A revolving door trying to find the right person.

[kyleelyn199723]

Why do people get into marriages just for a relationship filled with nothing? A wedding is one day. If marriage is your only goal in life that sounds like a problem. Your point would be rather valid if divorce rates weren’t so high in today’s day and age.

[kyleelyn199723]

In my opinion it’s two peoples desire to hold a relationship together marriage or not. People get married every single day for the wrong intentions. The title of being married does not hold value more than just being able to claim you are married on legal documents. There’s people that stay in unfaithful marriages just so they can claim they are married on taxes, etc.

[iKarmaJones]

You still can't justify wasted time being a girlfriend going nowhere. Why be a girlfriend? Your views about marriage should be applied to being a girlfriend. Waste of time and energy. I believe healthy marriages done right. If you are girlfriend for more than 1 or 2 years, you crazy. Committed for 5 years for what? Playing marriage. SMH. This world is so backwards. What's right is considered wrong... What's wrong is considered right.

[kyleelyn199723]

You really shouldn’t even marry somebody in the first place until you go through major events with them. 1-2 years is possibly not even enough so I really don’t agree with that. You think an 18 year old should marry another 18 year old at 20? That’s a little insane to me if you ask me. Wasted time where? If you are marrying someone just to waste time, that’s pointless. A relationship is a relationship regardless. I have been in a 9 month relationship with my current boyfriend and I do not consider that wasted time so what ever. Your views on marriage are intense and so unrealistic. Out of curiosity are you married? Are you in a relationship?

[kyleelyn199723]

My sister has been in a relationship with her high school sweetheart since 15, you think they should’ve gotten married at 17-18? 😬

[KrakenAttackin]

I guess because change is hard, especially divorce with kids.

[visio9]

to get attention.