Compared to people who lack confidence, do you think truly confident (not cocky) people care more or less about superficial traits in a partner?

[Rab1901]

Superficial traits ex. looks, money, fame, etc.

I'm curious what you think. Please feel free to explain if you'd like to.

much more

more

less

much less

about the same

[AshViper]

The more self-confident a person is the less they "care" - or more accurately are not bothered by - about others' shallow (looks, etc.) options with respect to themselves.

And as such shallow things mean little to nothing to a confident person.

I, as an example, am very self-confident. And like the "cool kid" Turbo mentioned in high school I get along with everyone. I am remembered by people years later even if we met/worked together once.

But people's looks, etc., mean little to me. I am far more interested in the person.

[yourbabygirl921]

I'm confident and I don't really care about money fame or whatever that is not really needed I'm independent so I don't care if he doesn't make much money or his looks I can love someone not base on their looks

[TurboKid]

If you have a real type of confidence to comfortably navigate social settings and get to know all sorts, you tend to judge people less because they'll defy your initial impressions repeatedly. So you learn that your initial bias is worthless. I think antisocial types are some of the most strongly biased people I've ever met, because they form such strong opinions about certain types or groups of people without ever actually hanging out with them and trying to be friends.

[TurboKid]

Bias is basically knowledge conjured without experience as I see it. Sufficiently sociable and extroverted types of people, provided they don't overpower people and are curious enough to learn about them, don't form such strong biases towards people because they learn enough about the widest variety to figure that their initial assumptions can always be wrong.

[TurboKid]

Like, think back to your high school. Don't think about prom king/queen. Those are usually superficial and not really that confident -- they're obsessed with self-image. Think about the super cool guy, or the super cool girl, who gets along with everybody. They're comfortable with everyone and have a real and sturdy type of confidence that isn't so cliquey or superficial. Those types of people are usually the least judgmental people you can ever meet and I suspect because they're so comfortable and truly confident that they get to know enough to become way less superficial than the antisocial or the most egotistical types.

[Rab1901]

Cool. That's the kind of answer I wanted to hear

[Xyglo27]

More!

Its a matter of ego & not settling down.

I am not shallow, I do want woman but if I have to choose between an average looking good woman or a hot good woman then I'd pick the hot one.

Everyone wants the best possible man & woman that they can get. That's why a lot of film stars end up single. They get confused in the amount of choices that they have.

[AshViper]

ROFL. Celebrities end up single because they marry oftentimes shallow insecure, even in ways useless, twits looking at **their** money.

[Rab1901]

@AshViper I agree. I also think that if you care so much about your ego it's not true confidence. It's being prideful and lacking humility aka cocky.

[HiveBee]

I would say they care WAY more.

Especially for men. That guy, he's got hella hoes all over his dick. He picks the best ones from the top of the pack. The most beautiful girls with the best secondary traits.

Same for women. They choose the best men from the top of the pack.

The question said for finding a partner right? The more confidence you have, the higher your standards go.

[AshViper]

ROFL

[HiveBee]

Rofl what?

[Rab1901]

I agree with the higher standards. I don't think it equates to superficial though. But I'm curious how high is your confidence and standards?

[HiveBee]

My standards are hella high after being married and royally fucking up, choosing the worst woman. I was ignorant as fuck lol.

My confidence I suppose that depends on whose definition. For some people being confident means running around talking to every cute girl you see, getting numbers and shit. That's not me.

But I am confident enough to talk to any woman without fear of her thinking I'm weird or anything. I used to be terrified of women for most of my life.

So I'd say I'm very much confident but I'm not on like pimp playa level confidence lol.

I'm not sure if I want to be like that or not. I might give it a try. Looking for hookups and all that. Since I've never done it.

So I'd say my standards are higher than where I am at in myself. And so therefore I plan to work on myself so I can have what I want. Which is essentially a beautiful and intelligent woman lol.

I have a lot of female friends who encourage me. My sister thinks I will get what I want and she has never been wrong before so that gives me confidence. I meet girls and women and they ask me why I'm not dating and I should hurry up and find a girl lol. So that boosts me up too.

[GrimmGothBabe]

It can depend on the individual me and my spouse are very cocky people but we could care less about superficial things. However my sis is so not cocky and super shallow haha so I think it really just depends on the individual

[AshViper]

Cocky isn't confidence. Cocky is ignorance & arrogance. Try to invest in a dictionary so you learn the difference.

[MissRomantic]

I think confident people for some reason have greater self-respect so they are likely to choose a partner who respects them and has a good character.

[MCheetah]

Much more in my opinion. Egotistical people (no matter what "spin" you want to put on it) always feel entitled to more, and try to justify it by saying "I deserve the best" no matter how little work they actually put in towards those people.

[Ayanna240]

confidence has nothing to do with shallowness. Shallowness is an individual trait. There are good looking people that aren't shallow. Then there are average looking people who are shallow.

[Rab1901]

Interesting. How high is your confidence and how shallow are you if you don't mind answering

[Ayanna240]

I would say that I am very confident about certain things and very insecure about other things. I don't think I am shallow but I need someone that I'm physically attracted to in order to form a relationship. Its a natural human need, as a part of the mating process.

[Rab1901]

Ohh. How confident are you in your looks on a scale of 1-10? How physically attractive would your partner have to be on a scale of 1-10?

[Xyglo27]

I think if both people are a 7 in terms of attractiveness then the relationship would go well.

[Ayanna240]

@Rab1901 some people would say I am a 7.5 but I personally think I’m a 5 in terms of looks. Beauty is in the eye of beholder. There were those who thought I was a 8.5/9

Looks don’t matter as much as you think, if you have an appealing personality.

I have dated 8-9s before. They are the same people as you and I

[Ayanna240]

@Xyglo27 very few couples have partners of the exact same attractiveness. There is always one partner that is more attractive than the other.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Less