I'm undecided on this one, if I would have came across this question a year or 2 ago I would have definitely have said "yes" in a heartbeat but I feel there are so many factors involved with attraction that confidence is just a part of it.
I think confidence is better for the individual 1st and foremost, and if being confident creates attraction that should just be a little extra reward for being self-assured rather than the main focus, because being to preoccupied with other people's perceptions of you isn't confident - that's being insecure.
BUT at the same time being overconfident can be very off-putting & unattractive because that shows a different side of being un-self-aware (yeah I made up a word, whatever) so there's an argument for it not being that important for attraction, but is that actual confidence? *that's more of "compensating for inadequacies" type of thing
The goal should be confidence based off of competency and a proper dose of self security, confidence like most things should be based off of a skill and general foundation of understanding/ability.
If you know what you're doing and how do it - you should be confident.
If you don't know what you are are doing and how to do it - you should feel uncertain and seek the skill/knowledge on how to do so.
In conclusion - confidence can create attraction but there are so many other factors involved that I can't just single it out over everything else. So I'm voting with a reluctant "yes".
The first things guys and girls look for in a partner *it will vary from person to person but I'll point out some common ones...
Both look for - appearance, personality, similarities
Guys look for - youth and beauty
Girls look for - success and maturity
In what order I don't know and same with emphasis on which aspect
I hope this was helpful, cheers.
Google the names Brian Peppers and Lizzy Velasquez. Ask yourselves if confidence would make them more attractive?
By the way, Lizzy Velasquez *IS* confident. She has lived a life on her terms. She frequently speaks publicly. She carries herself like Wonder Woman. To me, she is awesome!
Brian Peppers was a very sad person. He is now dead, but his face was used as memes for the ugly all over the internet. He was a registered sex offender. He did not live life on his terms, but he had the additional disadvantage of being physically disabled.
I believe confidence can boost average looking people into being attractive. However, at the extremes, it doesn't help the unattractive, nor does its lack seem to hinder the very attractive. I also think that in *many* cases, one is confident *because* one is attractive, not necessarily that confidence makes one attractive.
Lol. The men that said it doesn't matter lack confidence. ;D
The only reason why confidence wouldn't be a factor is if someone wanted to manipulate a person, if that person is shy themselves, or if that person is attracted shy people. Honestly, I feel this is in the minority. Someone who lacks confidence is someone that is likely going to be high neurotic, constantly worrying, easily jealous, lacks emotional regulation---essentially a disaster for someone to date.
Of course confidence adds point.
It is like selling a product and the product is you. If you present it well it well sell and people will be convinced on how good the product is.
Also someone confident is someone comfortable with himself and knows what he wants in life and specifically a relationship.
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Confidence is great but I don't think it's realistic to expect anyone to be perfectly confident without insecurities either. Gotta remind yourself that you're human.
Confidence matters in romantic attraction to me. Not so much in physical.
But confidence is necessary.
Overconfidence is a joke, and it's very fun to pole at.
It makes a huge difference for me. I mean when I see some girl with a model-like figure looking all nervous at a social event, she does genuinely look less attractive to me in my eyes than more ordinary-looking one at the center being all friendly and chatting to everyone and laughing. Well, I'm an odd one but "personality" and "looks" to me are very blurry. I can't distinguish which one I'm attracted to exactly at times because how a girl looks is part of how I assess her personality.
its not attractive to me, not unattractive either but i like the people around me to shoe a decent about of human uncertainty and flaws, it feels more natural than someone who bigs themselves up all the time
It’s funny that most successful people feel that they are afraid to be found out as a fraud. I have read this multiple times over the years. Most confidence that I have seen is just people bullshitting.
Women suck at picking mates which is why the divorce rate is so high as women file the majority of the divorces.
Confidence isn't something I personally look for in women.
I actually prefer demure women over those who are "in your face", even if that means that they are a bit awkward/socially anxious.
There is place for cheek and sass, certainly, but I think that should come *after* we are already well acquainted with each other.
If someone slaps me with anything other than perfect propriety right off the bat, then I'm frankly going to be put off rather than enticed.
I don't think your "opposite gender" wording really belongs in this question. Never in my life have I met a man who looks at confidence as a defining feature of what is attractive in a woman. I think it's women who are attracted to confidence. Being shy/anxious as a man is a recipe for being rejected by women. More often than not, if you are a shy/anxious woman, it's cute and a guy will basically just come scoop you up and make you feel beautiful.
Absolutely. Especially to me. Confidence speaks volumes to a person's self esteem and ability to cope. Which are all things I find valuable in a relationship 🖤
Confidence is important in the way that your confident with who you are and being yourself and liking yourself. Because if you aren't confident in yourself or like who you are then how can you possibly expect someone to like you or who you are in return?
It definitely does, it is especially true for men. It is clear what type of men are more successful with girl, clue confident guys. It is written in Romance you'll find leading men are confident and charming.
It is true for women too, there is a reason men are drawn to confident women.
Honestly in certain cases with some girls, them projecting (pretending?) super amounts of confidence actually makes them even LESS attractive, as in if they're overweight or something and are acting like they're all hot? That's a massive turnoff, even moreso than if they just shut their mouth. Nothing is a bigger turnoff than a fat chick or a trashy chick who is acting like they're hot/pretty when they aren't. Best thing to do in that case is just be chill.
I don't think that it's over-rated. It might be over-abused when people mistake aggression for "confidence", however.
I say both
confidence can be awesome but there’s a thin line between confidence and being an asshole
yet a person can be ‘ good looking ‘ and not have confidence and it be a turn off
yet again a person can be ‘ ugly ‘ and have an amazing personality and it be a sexy thing
Confidence definitely matters. A girl I dated for a long time had major confidence/self-esteem issues and it totally sucked the life out of our relationship.
Someone with confidence just shows I have a good idea of what I may be getting into. Not much of a journey. Majority of the women I dated were just that. Its overrated to me. My opinion.
For me yes. I really like confident people. But here again, there's a fine line between confidence and over confidence. If someone has stepped over the line, I'll be more aggravated
One of the biggest lies women managed to force into near-belief.
Make no mistakes, The number of women on this site who'd date an ugly overweight guy if he happened to be "confident" is the exact same number of times I'd get a "yes" if I asked Jennifer Aniston out a million times: ZERO
ANY woman who claims otherwise is a liar.
Overrated by a mile. The problem is every guy fakes confidence so much it's a turn off. Where have all the honest guys gone
to me an over confident man has to big of an ego and I do not need that type of man for a long term relationship ! thanks
It doesn't matter but it doesn't help either. If she appears confident in certain ways, then I feel out of her league.
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