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First thing to come to my mind is that they can't keep a secret, so I shouldn't share anything with them. It isn't a "secret" if you tell other people about it. There are things my wife will never know, or the friends and lovers I had before I met her.
Second one is that they trust me, and I'm not going to repeat what they said even if I don't trust them to keep their mouth shut. The only exception to that is if I'm with someone and we did things which must be kept confidential, and they've never talked about it. You can keep secrets between people you already have secrets with.
Generally I test people before that to see if they can keep their mouth shut. When I think I can trust a person, tell them a story, and if I hear anything close to that story from anyone else, never trust them again. If I don't, they can keep quiet and are trustworthy.
That's a very complete, in-depth answer and I really enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for sharing my friend, you are very wise!
I wish I could say it's wisdom, more I lived in the black hat world for a long time and wanted to survive and stay out of jail. Being paranoid and crafty helped me to achieve that with very few days spent in holding cells. If you have a case coming up and suspect a rat, tell the same story with subtle variations to each person you suspect. When you hear the version that lines up with the rat (s), get the case tossed. No face, no case.
That's in America of course, in the EU it's more tricky with the laws, every other country bribes work just fine. Bribes paired with force. The EU is an interesting one, witnesses don't mean anything against a camera, at least last time I was there. Your country was different, the Italian police will shoot first, beat, and torture if they have some evidence, but not enough to convict. Your Carabinieri is fucking terrifying, the Polizei less so, but still more scary to me than any other US or EU enforcement agency. I was a bad boy everywhere else in Europe, I crossed my T's and dotted my I's in Italy though lol
u I can keep secrets very easily, and I do that. And it doesn't even have to be a secret that dark... anything that I'm told in confidence, privacte or just one on one, it stays between us, I don't like to go around telling this kind of stuff to others.
However, there are more delicate situations in which I'd have to judge case by case, if you're doing something that could be hurting others and especially someone dear to me, then I won't have much considerations for the secrecy status, and sure maybe I am breaching your trust in me but you're also, kind of abusing my our trust in telling me and making me feel kind of complicit... lol, if you're doing something sick, twisted or plain wrong, well don't come and tell me to then expect me to be just indifferent to that.
There's things my husband told me that no-one knew but me and those secrets died with him cuz they were his to tell not mine... And if it's something they try to tell me I wouldn't be able to keep like one friend cheating on another I'm gonna tell them not to tell me because that's something I couldn't/wouldn't do
You are really wise and conscientious in making the distinction, that's a really rare quality!
@Brainsbeforebeauty I do that as well. I'm like, "Wait. If you're about to say what I think you're about to say, then don't say it."
@Jamie05rhs that's good!
@Jamie05rhs That's right, as a security officer once told me "once you say something, it can't be unsaid".
@KrakenAttackin Correct.
I keep it, unless it is about rape or child abuse. If they raped someone or abused a child, I will make sure to ruin their lives.
I share your opinion, if they confess to hurting someone and especially someone who's in no position to defend themselves like children, pets or otherwise vulnerable people, they must be stopped.
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If it's a secret I keep it as a secret. I don't like KARMA coming after me.
Everyone has secrets, even me and if someone tells me a secret, my mouth will be shut tight. Its nit my secret, so I have no right to tell it to anyone else at all. But their is a difference between keeping a personal secret and a secret that has effected many people. For example, if my friend tells me that he or she cheated on him or her, I would try too keep quiet about if its because the relationship is not working, but if they cheated for the fun of it and don't respect their partners then I would definitely tell their partners about it.
I don't share other people's secrets and not into gossiping and things like that. The only times I think I halfway violated this is when I kept their identity hidden and talked about them anonymously to people close to me and in ways where there's no way the third party could find out their identity (ex: they live on opposite ends of the world).
What you wrote is perfectly reasonable, thank you for sharing!
I would have to make a judgement call based on who it affects, and how badly it affects them.
If you are asking would I simply gossip though? then that would be a resounding no, never.
I will however give you an example of a situation whereby I WOULD break their trust. If someone gave me information protecting a paedophile who was abusing children? That right there, I would be straight to the police station and to hell with protecting them.
Only if it doesn't affect others negatively. If it's a dark secret about themselves that's over and done with, I will protect it with my heart. If it's a secret that involves someone being hurt currently? It's something I will either solve myself or spill to the police/people that need to know.
This is so crazy cuz I was just thinking about this exact thing today. I really would depend if they've murdered somebody I would feel really terrible because I would be like you have to go sort that out because you deprived of somebody of their family member.
I'd be amazed first and foremost, since I wouldn't have asked her to tell me any of that to begin with.
Other than that, depending on what this dark secret is, I might reconsider frequenting the person ever again or elaborate on the thing if it intrigues me.
Keep it.
I have a few very very dark secrets and fantasies.
Also some things I know people have done and I will take with me to my grave.
equally I have friends that have some of my very covert dark secrets.
Very very, not very covert, although to be honest, that’s really accurate lol
I understand, thank you for sharing my friend!
I have had people tell me a lot of dark things they didn't ever tell anyone. I am assuming because people always say I am so easy to talk to and non judgmental. Like a familiar stranger is how I describe myself. I try to help them out any way I can and their secret stays with me, it is not mine to share, its not for gossip etc. they are confiding in me for a reason and trusting me, I would never break that trust.
Depends on the secret and why it is a secret. One person's "dark" could be another person's Tuesday's lunch topic of discussion. If it's something horrible and illegal, like rape or murder, you'd be better off reporting it... If it's just personal crap, keep it.
There are many dark secrets people have shared with me over the years & to this day I have not said a word ✌️
You are really reliable, that's a good thing!
@Jean-Marie_Celine
Thank you so are you.
They have. The secrets die with me unless they explicitly say otherwise. I don’t talk about it, I don’t write it down, I don’t record it or anything of the sort.
I think it would depend on the dark secret and how close I was to the person doing the confessing. If they confessed to a crime I would have to think about how the victims feel and their right to justice. If it was just dark desires I wouldn't judge.
People tell me things all the time. But it certainly isn’t my place to ‘share them around’. Gossip can hurt people.
If someone asks me to keep something secret then don't tell it to anyone. But if the secret is something I have to tell to another person like otherwise someone will be harmed then then I'm just going to tell the person who told me the secret that I'm not going to be able to keep it a secret.
Keep it. Those who tell others secrets have bad character.
This...
I keep secrets. Once they tell me it stays with me.
I'd keep it a secret as it is there's to tell only. But if they've done something like murder someone id tip the police in that situation.
Many have and many have never had to worry that their secret would be revealed unless that secret had to do with an illegal action that hurt people. And they knew that before telling me.
I'm confused - why would I betray someone's trust like that? Funny thing is, I'm a vault if I know someone's secrets. And, I know where the bodies are buried too.
So you know where Jimmy Hoffa at😂
@Brainsbeforebeauty Yes I do. Everyone from NY knows where Jimmy is.
A secret is a secret when only two people know something and one of them is dead.
Speaking personally, I take it to my grave~
(As I would expect of them...)
Keep the secret.
They put a lot of trust in you.
If it was criminal... then you gotta do something but make sure it doesn't come back to you.
Delicate...🤨...
If someone sharing their dark secrets with me, it means they really trust on me. Then why tf I will tell to others?
Also when they are not my familiar, but they tell me something and say not to tell anyone, It will remain only between both of us.. I never breaks trust of Someone.. many people used to tell me about their secrets as I am also a good listener for them...
I heard it from a web-series - “The most expensive thing is 'Trust', cheap people can't afford it"✌🏻
I keep it unless keeping it would really hurt me or my family or my friends
I said "cool" then I move on. Never really care about secret
Oh i always keep secrets
Many of my clients share too private stuff in certain moments but now they know they dont have to worry with me
I would keep it, of course. You have to be a pretty low person to gossip about others when they tell you something personal.
Sharing dark secrets = big trouble and paranoia. Why share something that's gonna put you at risk for something.
I never breathe a word of it to anyone. I have carried secrets around for years.
Don't tell any one, but use it in conversations with out saying the persons name. Like "what do you think of (the dark secret)?"
Keep it forever. And if possible, forget it entirely. I would only weaponize a friend's secrets if mine were weaponized, or if they are causing trouble and need to be stopped immediately.
I will keep it secrete between two of us, other personal has faith in me Sinha's shared / voiced in front of me, not necessarily always my opinion expected.
I'll take it to my grave. I know things about some people that they don't even know I know, and I don't say shit about it because it isn't my business to tell.
keep it a secret cause been on the giving and receiving end and there both horrible, embarrassing times.
Unless it's a horrific crime I'd keep my mouth shut. Murder, rape, or child abuse and all bets are off.
I'd not let them tell me the thing. I don't want that on my memory or conscience.
I’m not really sure is it some type of a lesbian sexual fantasy involved where I need to be quiet?
Telling you means they Trust you to keep it. You telling someone else will Destroy that trust. Once Trust is Destroyed it is Hard to get back!
I will never see that person in in my old perspective. After that the person is a new person in my view.
I keep it. They trusted me when they told it, and I will keep it.
Usually keep my mouth shut until I hear it from someone else.
I can keep a secret and take it to my grave. I also know I am a rare breed that way.
I'd keep it unless it put someone else in danger. Other than that though is never talk about it.
I put it deep inside my mind and forget it's there.
I don't care about other people enough to remember their life trivia.
Unless it's a crime, I will forget I ever heard the secret :p
I usually tell my mom- I can't handle additional stress, I have to snitch to someone else
Ya you keep it unless there is danger to somebody else life involved then you should report them to the authorities if it is something crazy and illegal
That’s solely depends on what the secret is.
It's yours to keep forever
I transform it into something that is of use to the both of us.
Don't speak on it with anyone else and depending on what it is talk to them about it let them vent
Keep Them! The only problem is, Now I have to live with both theirs and my secrets.
Depends on what it is.
I have no problem keeping something confidential.
I don't listen to secrets they are a waste of time.
Forget it... I don't really want to know.
Knowing me I would Likley forget about it
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