How do I get out of the friend zone?

Question

BigPunny · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I've been with the same woman for 23 years and I'm still in the friend zone. She's my best friend. The best friend I've ever had.

The friend zone is largely just a name given to a feeling one gets when they believe the importance of the man, to the female, is of a confidant and not an intimate partner.

So the issue is one of psychology, largely. To exit this psychological box you've found yourself in, you need to just... be you. Seriously.

I'll try to break it down a bit:

1) She is friends with YOU. So, be you. Don't be weird, shy, or awkward around her. Embrace the friendship with her. Appreciate the fact that you are a confidant, of sorts.

2) Make her laugh. This is a big one. When you're being yourself, if she finds you amusing, this will go a long, long way to solidify your friendship.

3) If common interests are what make you friends, use this. Hang out with her and do those things together, as friends. Don't try to push it intimately - just be there.

4) Be there for her. Whatever she's going through, you are a window for her, into the male mind. Let her use your experience as a man to help her through whatever problems she's having, including men issues.

5) Use the time together wisely. Every moment with her will be a chance for your presence to become something she craves and wants to have. When she is having fun with you, then you become important to her. This is key. And leads me to #6

6) Don't be jealous or controlling when she finds herself dating someone else. The best way to her heart is by creating and building a friendship and connection with her that makes HER realize that the other men she dates aren't as important to her as you.

You won't be able to force this, but you are in a good position to find a life partner. A partner you can be really, truly happy with. As long as your version of 'friend zone' is actually one of a friend, then you have a foundation to build on.

But again, you don't want to view her only as a potential mate because that will cause you to act in different ways. Just be her friend, be a really good friend, and care about her as a person. Remember her birthday, special events, and be there for her.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope this helps.

Curmudgeon · Accepted Answer

The honest answer is: YOU DON'T.

Should you maintain the friendship? Is there anything on a non-romantic level that appeals to you about her? Intellect? Hobbies? Professionally?

(A very good sample question to ask yourself here is: Can you ever see yourself doing business with her? Could you see her as your Realtor? Your Attorney? I am using examples from my professional dealings.)

If the answer is YES, maintain the friendship.
If the answer is NO, and you really just want her physically, then politely say goodbye.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

First you must ask yourself what you actually want.

Seriously, are you just doing this to get laid. Or for a shot to get laid? Do you want to take her on a date that might one day end up meeting your parents? Are you bored and want a self esteem boost? Do you want the chase, or do you want to make her smile from her soul?

All of this advice below is horrible. If you truly like someone, why would you want to remove them from your life when they aren't 'serving you.' Most people take a while to know people and time shows all traits eventually.

It's possible to care for someone without wanting to bang them at every opportunity you can. Cutting people out of your life is very lonely and does not help develop conflict resolution, emotional maturity, or otherwise allow you a glimpse into the feminine perspective. Something incredibly useful when handling an opposite gender.

I dislike this question, because it sounds like a predator waiting in the tall grass, rather than how to: how do I gauge someone's general availability or interest in me?

To get out of 'the friendzone', you actually have to acknolegde that is the place all acquaintances stay until they do something about it. It's not a woman 'condemning you' to a certain area of life. It's just how life works. you aren't closer to people until you hang out with them more and ask if they are interested in more.

I suggest you figure out where your intended is in life.. does she relationship, does she want no strings, what are her hobbies and interests?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

By accepting that there is no such thing as "the friend zone" lol. Ask her out, it's that simple. You either get the girl or you get rejected. You miss every shot you don't take, champ. Just remember, girls don't owe you anything - a lot of girls just enjoy having guy friends just as much as girl friends.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

The same way you put yourself in there,

there is not really such a thing as friend zone.

it’s usually when you actually value them as a person and are scared to loose them if it turns sexual.

We tend as a rule to have friends longer than lovers.

options,
End friendship and walk away
talk to them about your feelings and that you want more than simply friends.
Live with the fact they are now a friend and respect it,

Soremain · Answer

Only possible way would be to reset the situation, but it can take very long time. You have to stop contacts with her and then meet her again later as a changed man so that she finds you attractive this time. But that would have to happen by chance, otherwise that would be very desperate clinging on a one girl. So in other words just forget about her, understand why it happened and learn from it.

pleasestopthis · Answer

I don't believe in "friendzone". You either end the friendship if you're not interested in being her friend or take the leap and invite her out... if she rejects you then there's nothing to do there. Don't try to change her mind.

worldscolide · Answer

You dont. You put her in the "She does not exist" zone.. Sever all contact, remove her from your life. Dont allow your self to be the guy she comes to when every chad she is banging hurts her.

AgentRED · Answer

Never.  end the "friendship" right away. chances are, he or she will not change their minds once they obviously got someone else on their minds.

EternallyCorrect · Answer

By going and finding another girl who likes you back.

MotorcycleMan · Answer

If you are there, you are probably there for a reason. Find someone else.

Iron_Man · Answer

It is basically a bro buddy it’s the same thing going out with the guy except She is female you can’t rough her Up punching her in the arm.  Like I did with my high school buddies all the time

joeldalton · Answer

You can’t negotiate attraction. If you’re in the friend zone you take your L and move on to another girl.

dolemite89 · Answer

learn the difference between being a friend and an acquaintance. If a girl tries to waste ur time wanting u to just be her friend tell her u don’t have time and stop hanging out with her.

Kas19 · Answer

You don't. You can either be her friend or leave.

Anonymous · Answer

If she friendzoned u already there's nothing else you can do.

legalboxers · Answer

you can't.. your stuck there. You move on. You find other avenues with other people

Ms_Vanderquack · Answer

By walking away from it.

genericname85 · Answer

just stop being friends. it's that simple.

jasco · Answer

you can't just move on

StunningANDbrave · Answer

Be not getting into it in th first place.

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

Stop associating with her

Mia-Wallace · Answer

End the friendship.

AbuGhareb · Answer

You can't.

How do I get out of the friend zone?

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