Was it wrong that I expressed my opinion?

[MecNuggets]

I also want to know the perspctive of men in this story.

We dated for almost four years. We are in a long distance relationship. We met but he wasn't able to come back after his first visit because of financial problem. Last year he was supposed to come back again after dealing with his financial issue but Covid happens, airports were closed. Supposed to be he's coming back this year and we were planning what to do and where to go. We even plan about closing the distance.

Last 2020, he mentioned about signing a prenup. At first, I got offended because it's not really common in my country to have that agreement not unless you are well off. I told him how I felt about it. I asked him who gave him an idea about that, I doubt it his parents since his mom is asking when I am moving. When I asked if it's his friends he got quiet. I have a feeling that it's his friends from work. I did my research regarding that since it is a legal matter.
I am proud of him, especially that he got a promotion in his job, I understand that he got busier and have more responsibilities at work.
Fast forward 2021, While we were talking about our plan on where to go during his vacation here the topic was switched about signing a prenup, he asked me if I am signing one, I said I will sign to prove that I am not after his liabilities and while I was explaining my side he hang up the call, I tried reaching out but no response. He muted me on messenger.
I asked his dad and told me that he took another part time job during day time aside from working at night. I am disappointed that he didn't allow me to finish talking and listen to my explanation. And for almost four years that I am with him I never ask any money from him. I lost my job last year, still I never ask any money from him. I don't understand why he had to stop communicating with me.

[Anonymous]

You told him you will sign a prenup to prove that you are not after his 'liabilities'? Was that meant to be an insult by pointing out that he does not have any assets to protect? If so, I would have been offended too.

It sounds to me like you took it personally that he wanted a prenup. You shouldn't have. Prenups should be a requirement today to protect men and help offset the rightly negative view men have of marriage now. I don't know what things are like in your country but here in the US men are rightly afraid of getting married and are turning their backs on marriage in record numbers.

Why? Because half of marriages end in divorce and the vast majority (70%) of divorces are filed by women. And men get screwed in divorce court and child custody disputes. In short, marriage is a very dangerous proposition for men today and any man who gets married without a prenup is a fool. Any woman who has a problem with signing a prenup is suspect and not marriage material in my view.

[MecNuggets]

I understand what you're trying to point out. I understand the legal stuff under that agreement. I am not afraid to sign one that is why I agree. I know that he is trying to protect his assets. I made my point clear to him. And yes, I am never after his liabilities because I can work and earn. For years that I am with him I never ask for financial support, I never ask him to buy things for me even if I lost my job last year.
I don't know why he thinks that I am only after his money.

[Opinion Owner]

I think I misunderstood because you used the term "liabilities", which means debts. I think you meant assets.

Anyway, I don't know why he's behaving that way and I'm sorry you're going through that. I hope you can talk it out with him and work things out.

[MecNuggets]

Oh thanks for correcting me.
Me either, I do not understand why he behaved and responded to me that way. Still figuring it out. He stop communicating to me after he hang up the call. I did my part to reach out to him but I am not getting a response

[OlderAndWiser]

He really doesn't sound like The One for you. Him hanging up and not listening to you is disrespectful and this gives you a clue about how he would treat you if you did get married. You don't always get your questions answered after a break up and you must simply accept that fact and move forward.

You really should not begin a relationship as LDR unless you really can't find someone anywhere near you. You are an attractive lady and I'm sure there are men in your area who would be interested in you.

[MecNuggets]

Thank you. I really appreciate your opinion

[OlderAndWiser]

Good luck!

[Anon621]

No. I don't evebmr think it us ethically wrong to express how you feel in a relationship. I personally think a large part of being in a relationship is the freedom of expressing opinions openly even if you don't agree or maybe you feel your opinion might be harsh or unfair towards the other person. That's what makes or breaks a relationship in my honest opinion, not just openly sharing opinions but also how your partner reacts to those opinions such as if they refuse to listen to you, if they end the relationship because they strongly disagree, or if they at least try to listen even if you felt like you were being unfair towards them in some way when you shared the opinion.

[MecNuggets]

Thanks for the insight. I made it clear to him that I will sign to prove that I was never after his liabilities since I can work and help him, I also mentioned to him that at first I find it offensive since it is not a common practice here. Still he hang up while facetiming him

[Citizenkirk]

For one, long distance relationships are not easy to maintain, and rarely work out in the long run.
Second, being from a different family dynamic, a different country, maybe even a different culture, I am not in a position to judge the merits of your decision to express the kind of opinion you did, because the criteria for judging the merits of that opinion would be coming from someone who does not have your life experience or philosophical perspectives on life. That being said regardless of whether your opinion was right or wrong ethically, it's never wrong for a person to be honest and open with someone they're planning on marrying, but it is wrong to withhold things and not to let them know how you really feel. If what you have to say will not be positively received, it's better to know now than to tell that person 20 years from now how you really feel after things have already degenerated in your relationship to the point of no return.

[MecNuggets]

Yes sir. I let him know how I felt about that matter. I didn't expect and like how he responded and acted towards me. I allowed him to explain his side, I listened. I felt disrecpected that he didn't allow me to finish or listen to what I was saying

[Citizenkirk]

If you feel that this situation can be salvaged and the relationship is worth preserving, than be aware that compromise will be required to achieve this end, and that the relationship dynamic cannot remain unchanged for that to happen. Personally, I am offended by to concept of a pre-nup, as being a way of snubbing the person your supposed to be completely devoted to. That's my personal opinion, and completely irrelevant in your decision to share your opinion with him, but maybe it will make you feel better to know that your attitude in this situation is not unique or unwarranted in other people's reasoning of marriage priorities.

[MecNuggets]

I got offended sir when he first mentioned that to me. I did my research to understand the legal aspects of that agreement. For the years I was with him I never ask for financial help or materials things from him since I am working and have my own savings. even if I lost my job last year I never asked money to him. He helped me although I refused so I do not understand what made him think that I am after his money

[Citizenkirk]

You alone can determine what lifelong matrimonial commitments mean to you and what you want out of that kind of arrangement. You and the one that you marry are the ones that will have to live with that decision, so don't let anyone so pressure into you something you're not comfortable with in the long term or short-term.

[dudeinohio]

It is always good to express your opinion.

[MecNuggets]

I did. I even listen to him while he was explaining. It hurts on my part that when it was my turn to speak he hang up and never contacted me back

[Anonymous]

Nope, he is just a jerk. Best to just move on and find someone better.

[MecNuggets]

I am trying to move on. But there are days where that day still haunts me. He left me hanging and confused.

[Wise4myage]

Nothing, as long as you keep it respectful.

[In_Trance]

Nope