Do you consider yourself to be a good listener?

Question

PeacefulRainDrop · Accepted Answer

It depends honestly.. I can be a good listener but people piss me off got this one friend I know in person who asks for my advice then she agrees with me... I even tell her what might happen if she doesn't listen to me.. then she comes to me crying that I was right.. thank God for covid cause I haven't talked to her in months... she goes non stop about this one man that she doesn't want to date but because she's lonely she's friends with benefits with him.. he's a slacker, known for cheating, in trouble with the law 5he type of guy you know is lying to your face but you go along with it anyway.. she can't tell he's lying.. She wants a good man but is entertaining her time with him.. I said if she spends her time with him any guy that could be interested with good intentions will assume something is progressing with you too or look at you differently cause your hanging out with him.. if you keep holding on to guys that dont meet your needs cause your lonely its like holding on to rocks you won't have any room for a good guy.. I told her to block and delete him but she won't.. to the point last time she came over to my place between the first and second wave.. she tells the same stories over and over again to the point where I get frustrated.. Its just a different set of circumstances but the solution in the same.. I wanted to tell her I was moving but didn't get a chance cause her non ending drama... then she texts me I didn't reply after a seizure my phone bothers me screens do might be better in a day might take a week this time took a week she texted me with some delima I didn't respond then she says some friend you are.. I told her I had a seizure in the tub I really hurt my back.. she goes aww hope your okay and goes back into her issues.. I blocked abd deleted her I can't deal with peoples shit anymore that dont listen to logic but her and I have known each other since grade 10 over 10 years now.. would have done it sooner but she called me her best friend.. felt bad but its dragging me down soo I think it had to be done abd I dont even miss her

PaynefulPleasures · Accepted Answer

I'm an excellent listener , a shoulder to cry on, non judgmental, all around good person ✌️

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

I've been told I am, but I need work on it.

My key challenge is focusing, as if I do, then I'm a good listener. I wander off mentally easily, apparently listening is related to paying full attention to the other person. Some people can multi task, I cannot, eventhough my mind wants to do other things at same time. I find myself easily distracted by movement or imagination and have for the longest time. I've often procrastinated all the way back to early school. I see it in my family, our busy minds and lack of focus, distracted by something else, losing priority. Fascinating, I think some things are family traits, born or reinforced by environment.

I'm working on this to be better with girlfriend as I know sometimes I distract, multitask... or go into imagination, and don't listen and it's frustrating to her. Relationship challenges one to grow. I was fired in essence due to trying to multi task and caught not listening when it was really important... with an important customer. My girlfriend hurt more than once when I don't hear... because brain shut down thinking about something else.

Im convinced there is no natural way to make my brain multi task like I see other men do and like women seem to do intuitively. Maybe I'm wrong and it's trainable by way of stress and such... that's what the miltary does, maybe I need boot camp? In some ways, I'm jealous of Dolphins whose brains are wired like that naturally... one eye open and aware, another asleep. how cool that be?

Things for me to consider:
Meditation to calm the stress part of brain
Military boot camp training - like physical exertion with verbal challenges to priority
Focusing, especially with loved one.. limit distractions
Dolphin conversion surgery... could be big money to improve productivity.

HairyPoppins · Accepted Answer

We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less. It's a really great skill to have in business and relationships.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

I like to think I am, mostly because listening it's really important to glean in on what goes through people's heads and how to find the best course of action to take with them.
I detail the importance of attentive listening here Listening to others, the best skill you can have

TurboKid · Answer

In-person perhaps, but less so over text and phone. Oddly I'm a chatterbox but people comment that I'm a good listener. Well, I know to stop chatting away when someone speaks. Also, I don't jump to conclusions.

On phone, I get so bored. I can listen but I start multitasking and saying, "Uh-huh, uh-huh." It's somehow very boring to me to listen for prolonged periods over the phone where I can't entertain myself watching the person's body language and show my own in how I'm reacting.

Then on text, my chatterbox side comes out in a very long-winded and verbose form where I don't know when I'm supposed to pause and let the other person speak since I can't see how they're reacting to each individual sentence and the communication isn't quite as "live". :-D

blank_expression · Answer

For some unknown reason beyond my comprehension it seems everyone that I meet and eventually know need to tell me all of their problems and issues going on with them. Most things are things that I would never tell anyone but for some reason they are dumping their most private stuff on me whether it is a man or a woman. Once one said, “I don’t know if I should tell you this” and I said, ”No don’t tell me” and then she proceeded to tell me anyways. I would never tell this stuff to anyone about myself. But, for some reason, being a good bobble-head is the go-to free shrink.

ColoradoKid · Answer

I would think that I am. I also think that I give some good advice from time to time. I had 4 friends in high school who married after high school. Both couples are male and female. Every one of them would be talking with me about this and that. It's all good.. But when they started to begin just ragging on their spouse and it was all they wanted to do I told them all this. When we get together and have lunch or a beer I will let you say what you want about the other for 15 minutes. If you go over that time I will walk out. Yes you are my friend however so is your spouse. I also promised all of them that what they said to me was just between us. I am still friends with all 4 of them.

MCheetah · Answer

Yes and no. Yes, I am technically a good listener and can understand most of the things you say and not do the "waiting my turn to speak" crap so many other people do. But it still doesn't guarantee I'll be mentally engaged and interested in what you're saying. Pretty much every woman I've known taught me this skill.

One could argue I'm a good listener, but not an enthuastic one. MOST people are boring and can only talk about themselves, in my opinion.

howdidireachhere · Answer

yes but no. im a great listener when on call but irl, sometimes i accidentally tune out the person because i start thinking whether i look like im paying attention or not. i overthink if im making the person feel comfortable or not, and whether my eye contact is of the "perfect" or not; making it look like i am listening while also trying to not look like a borderline creep.

natured · Answer

I think it's a question that pops up everytime somebody tells me that they need someone to talk to... and that's when i focus, and i will do the best to listen carefully without judging and without interfering... i think listening with your heart is easy... some people sadly only listen with their ass -_-

nandinikhaneja · Answer

Not at all. I am trying to be a good listener but it's really hard you know for someone who likes to speak and likes to share their problem. It's tough for me to be a listener because sometimes I feel that I don't let speak others so yeah, I am working on this.

ThePolishKnight37 · Answer

In the past no and even now I am not that good at it but I am better. But what I have always been good at is picking up on vibes. You do not even need to talk for me to know what is going on. I guess you could say i am good at reading between the lines.

sage2021 · Answer

I am a very good listener unlike my man. I don't think he listens to me 90% of the time. When we are on the phone, I am listening to him until he is finished telling me something. I am such a good listener, he keeps asking me "Are you still there?"

NathanDavis · Answer

yes, I'm a great a listener like any other people with curious minds out there, you don't really want to miss a thing when you really want to understand, and it's also key for a better communication

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Honesty I have selective hearing for the most part & my ears seem to have spam & bullshit filters up for 31% of the time & for the other 69% I’m a good listener.

Dude_777 · Answer

Yes, very good listener and remember even tiny details.

Not i only just i listen, i also pay close attention to non verbal communication too, that helps me asses quality of communication and also spot redlflags etc.

HawkPerception · Answer

I'm generally not, but I've been trying to be more self conscious about it and shut up when someone is talking more often recently.

Shark_61695 · Answer

Depends, do I need to retain the information or just be there for the person talking? I'm great at getting someone to talk about their issues as a relief but not so much if I need to pass on the information later.

pjf1958 · Answer

You can tell when someone is not a good listener. They are impatient, arrogant, aloof.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yeah I am in real life. I’ve been on various awareness and listening courses.

loveslongnails · Answer

What did you say? LOL I'd say I'm better than average, but I get annoyed with people who can't finish their story because they allow other people to interrupt them.

JoeyG_7048 · Answer

I do consider myself to be a good listener absolutely. I learned at a very young age how important it was to listen to people and hear them out.

Belgie · Answer

I know I am. Many friends have told me, and I see no reason to doubt them.

DarkCarousel · Answer

Oddly enough, for someone who is hearing impaired, I am a fantastic listener.

the_imperfectionist · Answer

I'm good at listening in a regular conversation, but I find it harder during debates.

Wiredone · Answer

I think I'm a good listener. I have never been told that I don't listen. I try to help anyone that needs advice

JosyJosy · Answer

I've been told by my friends, you know, people I care about :p

DaveToo · Answer

As a one-time counselor, I've been trained on how to listen and what to listen for.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think I am one. However, people think I am. I consciously or unconsciously change the topics with the ones that I have fun to talk. Then we have fun while talking. However, they are not the orginal topics that they wanted to share

bannacookies · Answer

I can be... if I'm interested in what someone is saying.

InferiorElegy · Answer

In the day to day I spend more time observing everything and everyone I pass by, more than I actually speak.

princeofromance · Answer

Yes, That is why we have two ears and one mouth. Listen, Then Speak.

bulletbob555 · Answer

I have to be my hearing is shot. I was a listener anyway

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Yes. I may have small ears but they're always connected

Anonymous · Answer

No haha. Sometimes I listen and I try to listen, but sometimes my mind takes my to space. And that's bad when my friends are telling me serious things they are dealing with.

oldawg · Answer

Yes and I have a reputation of what I hear stays with me and no one else

Anonymous · Answer

How do you come up with all these generic questions? Are these copy pasta from somewhere or do all PUAs think in the same full of cliches and stereotypes way?

101username101 · Answer

Yeah. I'm a quiet person who happens to live with extremely talkative people so I've picked up patience and active listening skills to help facilitate the convo

Dnice1 · Answer

I sure am. I don't talk much and really pay attention to others.

IAMNathanael · Answer

I wish I was but hindsight makes me think not

JuliaStyles · Answer

A good what? Were you saying something?

EmmaMary · Answer

I certainly like to think so.

Dinklex3 · Answer

If I'm talking to someone I care about.

Brutallyhonestgal · Answer

Actually I'm not sure. But I would say I am.

exitseven · Answer

What was the question?

ChiTown33 · Answer

Why yes I will have a beer. Thanks!

Ottilie_x · Answer

Yes, it's just polite.

Jenngirl00 · Answer

I do. It also makes me a better boss

StunningANDbrave · Answer

Only if the people talking aren't stupid.

LaLunaGoddess · Answer

What?

KrakenAttackin · Answer

When there is something worth listening too.

legalboxers · Answer

I listen more than I speak

lpoots · Answer

can you please repeat

Alyssa11 · Answer

Yes I do.

WhiteWolf69 · Answer

Yes I am a good listener.

Slim57 · Answer

Sure but it doesn't help I am a bad rememberer

jimmy2 · Answer

Yes since i can't hear   Lol

thegreatys · Answer

I love to listen and speak less😌

imGirliNterrupTEd · Answer

Yes !!!

ks19200 · Answer

I do listen than talking..

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Yes.

Miah02 · Answer

No. I am horrible

Julielamar2 · Answer

It depends for what

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