Do you consider yourself a good listener? How do you feel about people telling you their problems?

Question

If a friend has a problem, do you listen closely and genuinely try to help? I am more than willing to listen and sometimes that’s all someone needs but I usually don’t offer any worthwhile advice. How about you? Do people seek you out for advice?

JacobJordan · Accepted Answer

I certainly try but I am a very very bad listener. My wife and I have a system that works though. She knows it is not possible for me to listen to a full 45 minute exposition with context, side and main characters problems and how these things interlace for her to arrive at the point of "I saw someone having a bad day so I complimented them and told them to have a better rest of the day and they were happy"

That system is she will say "I need to talk you don't respond" then she will do her 45 minute or however long. I listen attentively for about... 2 minutes and then something pops in my head and I start thinking about it and it spirals outwards until I haven't heard a single thing she said for the past 20 minutes. Then she finishes she gives me the extremely shortened version of it which is 1-5 sentences. Now it should be noted that I am able to recall everything she said even if I was not paying attention but we agreed that it is better if she just recaps it so I don't have to feel bad

ChicoFromThe305 · Accepted Answer

Yep I can do all of the above, normally I'm not a serious person but I know when to be and when I am it's 100% serious I believe I have good advice as well

Beckybooboo · Accepted Answer

I have a very sympathetic ear, you can trust me to listen and show you I care but I don’t offer advice. Most of my friends know that. What I hate, is that person that won’t listen, they’re too busy telling you about how your problems are “nothing” compared to theirs! 😡 I have a friend like that.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

I'm a good listener, but more than helping, I try to show different perspectives and available solutions. I can't take responsibility for decisions my friends will make, so I try not to recommend solutions, just deliver data so they can make the best decision for them.

RebelinSteel · Answer

Yes I’m a good listener and I get friends telling me everything, I even have people I have just met coming out with stuff. A lot of people just need someone to listen to them without any judgement or come back, just listen to them.

Wallythewalrus2 · Answer

I’m a terrible listener and will intentionally give bad advice. If some poor bastard is coming to me for advice, they will get what they deserve.

Paris13 · Answer

Doctor "P" To Your Rescue. lolxxoo

Drew-1990 · Answer

I'm very good at listening to someone but not always on giving advice, it really depends on subject

exitseven · Answer

I am a very good listener and I give good advice. Sometimes people do not want to know what I have to say.

Cody2004 · Answer

Growing up with a sister let alone her being my twin so we're the same age I think I'm a good listener because if she has an issue will always be there obviously but I also listen to what she says and will remember stuff that bugs her and just be there until she feels better. I have a few female friends maybe because of that I'm not too sure though.

genericname85 · Answer

i'm getting better at it. i need to get my urges under control to act to help or give advice, when it's not directly asked. just listening to someone telling me their problems and not trinying to help untill i'm specifically asked is still new to me and it definitely has lead to missunderstanding and antagonistic behavior in the past.

some people just wanna spill the beans. they don't want help. just empathy. that was a hard lesson for me to learn.

Sharkstealth · Answer

I'm horrible at listening because my mind wanders constantly on everything. In school I had to read the subject or else I remembered nothing. If someone is talking to me every other word brings me to some deep contemplation of a different subject altogether. When a girl tells me her name I have to ask her later to repeat it because I'm overwhelmed by her smile or some part of her face that I am mesmerized by.

Anonymous · Answer

I think I’m a good listener. Especially when it comes to relationships. I think I have a 42% MHO standing, but you’d never know it cause I’m always anon. It mainly comes from things to do w relationships as far as my percentage.

nawtee_me · Answer

They say with age comes wisdom. I don’t know about that but I do get asked for a lot of advice or maybe just my opinion on things.
I don’t mind giving advice since I believee red that they have the right to take it or leave it as they see fit. Therefore I don’t get upset if they come to me and don’t take my advice.

bowenw · Answer

Some people do. I try to listen as best I can and offer constructive advice.

Yannae · Answer

They know they can count on me, I'll happily listen to my friends' problems. It's also easier to help because you already know how they are and feel about the matter, you know how to approach them.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Yes I am an active listener and people ask for advice

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Depends on what the problem being told to me is, and if that’s the first time I’ve heard the same complaint

DaBiggestBird · Answer

I’m Da Biggest Bird, which means I have Da Biggest ears so that must mean I am.

DagonbroughtMehere · Answer

Huh? I wasn't listening? To be honest unless I am commanded to listen to this person or I actually care about them, their issues are their own.

noohair · Answer

My experiance is that the only person you can help is yourself. You can't fix others.

SunnyRS · Answer

I consider myself to be a good listener but do others think that way for me? That's what matters

MrZameer · Answer

I think I'm a véry good listener cause many people tell me their problems

ab2shifty · Answer

I’m more of a listener than a speaker

shortster · Answer

I enjoy listening to people talk

Jennz6 · Answer

Not really

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