Do women really like men that do chores or cooking?

[Anonymous]

In my last relationship, I did most of the cooking and cleaning stuff. Regularly or holidays too. Her behavior was not so pleasant and she cheated at last. I don't feel like doing that much for future relationships.
Women say men don't help them or take care of the house or cook, but they take them for granted when they do. I feel like women respect men more in old-fashioned traditional relationships.

Updates

+1 y

If you want to see some samples of my cooking check this URL, let me know what you think about them
https://postimg.cc/gallery/yRRkYzQ

Updates

+1 y

Look at this video, I think I (other men can relate) was like in this kind of situation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SDlDvtMM2k

[GenFem19]

Not in a relationship but in every relationship I've witnessed the major issue is the man not taking care of himself. Stuff like feeding himself. Independence is great in that your partners don't have to worry after you, but co-dependancy can be beautiful in ways such as you preparing a sit down meal for the two of you or her doing the laundry for the home. The issues occur when one person is left to do everything and expected to do everything, and that should be brought up with the partner. Personally I think it's hot as fuck when someone isn't turned off home chores and it makes me wanna return the effort, like doing the washing or taking care of the dogs, ya know.

As for your ex, she's a cunt who treated you wrong and you deserve someone who will run you a hot bath and make you hot cocoa when you come home from a bad day and will inspire you to want to cook a fancy pasta dish for them. Don't cry over her bitch ass. Take the time to move on from her nasty shit and try again prince charming! You deserve better than a two timing varmin!

[Asker]

She wasn’t much skilled in cooking and I started living outside home after 18 . Growing up my parents were busy too , I had to mostly take care of myself. I am not crying over her. I broke contact. She told me guys like us are only good after thirty. That’s eating me much , perhaps that’s kinda true in our world

[GenFem19]

@asker well than she's a double cunt for thinking your only good after thirty and I hope she has fun babysitting a man child for a husband the rest of her life. You're amazing as you are, and there are plenty of women who would kill for their partner to have the initiative alone to take care of domestic tasks, across all ages. Find someone more worthy of your time hun

[PeacefulRainDrop]

I completely agree with @GenFem19! Another thing I thought of while reading you two is her thinking your only good after 30 is complete bullshit dont give that another thought trust me!!! She will have a big reality check when she realizes how good she had it with you she will probably come crying back dont take her back ever! She will never appreciate and love you the way you deserve! there's much better out there that will appreciate and encourage you!! I am guessing her parents babied her and she has no idea how cruel men can be! You dodged a bullet and you have dignity and respect... you deserve that in return! Things can only get better from here!

[Asker]

@PeacefulRainDrop I did broke off contact and after few months she tried to contact me too multiple times but it’s totally over for me.

[Qdbrown]

This is where you have to watch what women do, not what they say.

Sure, anyone would enjoy help around the house in a relationship. Very logistical and most women would say this is wonderful, but...

Women are designed to look for the best partner, wired at the DNA level. If a guy helps out too much, and does too much around the house, she will begin to look at her man as an equal, or less. They will never openly admit that. They don't even consciously understand that. But women don't like men who are equal to them. I don't care what their beliefs are. They will slowly lose respect. Women don't sex up men they don't truly respect.

At first they would feel like they hit the jackpot. Then they would expect more, and at some point have expectation.

Here's the rub. If she really likes you, she will want to do all the house work. She will spend every last dollar on you. She will worship the ground you walk on. If they change from that, it's the beginning of the end. If there are rules and stardards, you're the provider type. And the chores and talks will begin. If the guy offers too much, he might as well pack his bags.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Of course you are 50.

[Asker]

I will not say that I haven’t thought and feared the same. But I disagree with one , women don’t sex up men they respect. It’s the opposite. It’s very hard to find good girls now a days who are also as of my age. You can do everything for a girl and still she can leave you and care for a guy who does nothing , but with him she’s ready to do everything

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 and wise...

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown not really.
Your have the old mentally that women want men that take care of them, make more than them and make them submit.
That idea came from a time where women were socially expected not to work. During that time of course they had to submit and find a husband that made good money.
Today is another story. Did you knew that statistically relationships where the couple makes similar amounts of money last longer? Women want equals now. They were second class citizens for a long time time and they are done feeling like a combination of a maid and a whore. They now want to be at our side.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 totally diagree and the numbers don't lie. Marriage and long-term relationships are swiftly declining. The birth rate is at the lowest since the great depression.

And how women are wired is not modern women. They deep down will expect better options. This exceeds being loyal to a partner. Once they hit parity with a partner, they're ready to level up. That's called hypergamy or monkey branching. Women are nest builders.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown yes they are because a good number of people still think like you and marry with the wrong mindset.

You are from a different generation. You have no idea what is going on now. Society used to expect certain things of men and women. It wasn't their nature or DNA, it was social pressure. Now that is gone. People are free and women are making different choices and acting differently

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 are they? Then why hasn't all these righteous people changed the family courts with divorce happens?

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown what does one thing has to do with the other?

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8, wow, simply wow. Tell you what, if you can't see any connections to how everything works, I am not going to be able to explain anything. This one might be a little over your head, until you experience a little more life.

We will just leave it at, the world is great, don't bother to look at any nuance if all is well... For now.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown we were talking about what women want today in a relationship and you ask me why don't we fix the family court.

But let's address that. You mean that family courts are bias against men right? Well...

Did you knew that in divorces involving a child 51% of the times both the man and the woman agree that the kids should be with the mother?

Did you knew that father get custody 23% of the times?

In other words, fathers only try and not get their children 36% of the divorces.

They get custody in 23%, give it up in 51% and lose it 36%. Only 13% difference between win and loss when they actually fight for the kids. Taking into account that men are more likely to cheat, gamble, drinks, have a drug abuse problem and are the more likely to assault their partners that 13% becomes clear.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 I didn't ask to fix the family courts. They are plenty messed up. What I am pointing out is the myth of equality.

More than 70% of women seek out divorce. If they are educated, it goes up to over 90%. By your logic, all these men are deserving of that. All these guys are drunken gamblers by your reasoning.

But when you really get the real story these women are just bored. Why? Their men are no longer viable. Now here is the say against do. The women say these men fall down on the job of being married. But in virtually most cases the guy was broadsided by the divorce. When surveyed, at least all the guys I helped in their recovery was that they were working 60 hour weeks, coming home to help cook dinner, watch the kids and be there for their wives so much that they soon realized that they were their wives servant. See, women don't do the help. The joke about the pool boy is a myth. When men stop being the leader and give his wife the pants, she is gone.

Most of these guys are not cheaters. Most women don't divorce over cheating. The two biggest killer of marriages is communication and finances.

The moment the guy becomes the provider, he will be replaced. She will stop talking to him at a deeper level. Go to Breffaux's Law on that one. Once the man gives in, he gives up.

It may sound counterintuitive, and women want all the help, and support, yet seek our relationships that they get the least amount of respect, and bury those for which they get too much.

The family court's numbers only supports my claim. Just by who and how much is executed. Taken with the surprise. The drunken stories tho they do exist are the justification. Same conclusion most people buy new cars. At some point the car is so bad is simply has to be replaced with a newer fancy model. Without exception, but the key difference is that replacing a man, is often the father. And from that each new generation becomes weaker from a masculine point of view.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown Said by Ben Shapiro himself, people with higher education divorce less. No idea where you got that 90%, but it is wrong.

And you think that the women who divorce was because the men suddenly help out with the chores of the house the kids etc? Don't fool yourself! It was because of something else within the relationship. If anything it was because they didn't do enough of it.

I googled "Breffaux's Law" and got nothing.
You say the drunken stories are the justification, the excuse, no they are the cause! I gave you a full list of things men were statically more likely to be. From aggressors to drug addicts and cheaters. Not only that, but many, still way to many thinks like chores around the house are for her. Of course they get tired of being taken for granted and leave.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 again, simply wow. Someone who seems to be detailed oriented in research easily diswayed by not finding information on a single go in Google to find answers to life assumes is wrong if not there...

This time, my fault, try Briffault's Law. I am surprised your Google attempt didn't try to correct, but oh well.

With the 70% imitate divorce, I ran into article,. after article from the American Sociological Association’s 2015 Annual Meeting where Michael Rosenfeld demonstrated that women 69% of the time in either marriage or any form of relationship initied the breakup or divorce. This is all over the Internet, shocking you didn't discover. I was running into search results simply using 70 and 90% divorce women initiate.

I wouldn't let a confirmation bias hailt your search for the truth. In that research it basically said that women feel like they are overwhelmingly stuck with the emotional support of the relationship which presupposes why even non-marriage relationships fail at the same rate and reason. There is no mention of drunken gamblers being the culprit.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown I googled it again, and found about it on the incel wiki. Did not even knew that was a thing. But it is and honestly was enough for me to dismiss it. Specially because let's be real it works both ways. If one has no benefit associating with another, that association will not take place. This works for literally everyone, even among the same gender.

I know women iniciate divorce more often that was not on the table. What is on the table is the why.

The drinking, gambling and other problems are an issue, but not the only issue. Like you said before communication is one big reason people divorce. What do you hear many times "he stop putting in the effort." Lack of commitment is the number 1 cause for divorce. Lack of commitment. Helping around the house is showing commitment!

[hahahmm]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 you wrote: "Your have the old mentally that women want men that take care of them, make more than them and make them submit." --- 100% of women in serious want a man to take care of them. Some just aren't good enough to find a guy willing to do that so they have to settle for less than that and make excuses about it. Yeah, maybe 50% of women in general want a man who acts more like a woman and she bosses him around. They're called feminists (misandrist actually). Many of them had horrible male role models or none when they were growing up. Next.

[hahahmm]

@qdbrown The guy disagreeing with you aren't high quality enough to get what you're talking about. They never inspired a woman to truly commit to them. She just mouths the words. They'll figure it out one day.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 This is just getting better and better... 'I go out and see stuff on an Incel site, so it must be bad!'

Instead of going out to Incel sites, try other sotes. There was a great article on Psychology Today. It's amazing how you think. It's painfully obvious a male-feminist.

So other issues... Did you read or know that more than 2/3's of all women of age carry some amount of consumer debt? You never hear how this causes problems in marriages. You only hear about it the bad husband who works too much. Gambles at the very least as that pretty little girl will insist on the most home she can talk her new hubby into buying, along with cars and credit card possible vacations. Or what about all that nagging. These men are obviously bad, so to people like you they deserve hours per day or nagging. After all, happy wife, happy life. Never mind that sex drops off to nothing and finding out your wife was not so pure after put the ring on the finger... See, I don't live with what little I don't research on the Internet. I actually did two years helping out with divorce recovery. I have talked to hundreds of guys. And the most common denominator is that the guy was in trouble with debt, did too much, she gave up and got out. It goes just like that. Whether he went out and found a chick or for drunk too much rarely came up.
.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8
What you young people don't understand is that the woman breaks up and divorces you in her mind months up to a year before she actually leaves. She has all ready developed a plan. In so many words, it's hypergamy. It's hardwired into women. In animal study female animals stay in a group of males, for protection and options. They know deep down that her man can die or leave at anytime. She cannot control that. So she keeps a backup plan, internally, unconsciously, so if bad things happen, she is ready.

This is not rocket science. This is not even a science. All you have to know how humans work as animals, and put down a rat maze and see how they get through. It's pretty predictable

[Qdbrown]

@hahahmm sad but true. It's just one of those deals where they need to get their feet stuck to the fire before they understand.

This will definitely be one of those deals where these male feminist get dealt with and realize all the crap they were hearing that they didn't believe was true. Who knew? It's the worse feeling when it's you, and I have to admit I was one of them 10 years ago.

The hardest thing to teach these men, often from single mother households or from a strong mother/weak dad, is that most men will lay down their lives for their families without question. When a man's life falls apart, when he loses his compass, when he falls into depression, it's because he hits rock bottom of learning how he has been played by others from mom's, women, corporations and feeling like a sucker, the often suck start a gun or tie themselves up, than learn how to fight on. Doing that these days is toxic. Yet if we were really facing a real enemy, the forces of those in control would eagerly send in men to fight and go to their deaths. Funny how that works.

Let a man be a man, and do man things and all the little stuff falls away, and stuff happens. Things get built and succeses start to happen.

But no, make men the bad guys. If I truly felt evil I would drink and become an alcoholic too. Gamble and cheat. When you hear this stuff going on, the man is not living up to his potential. He is often being muted by others. He is not chasing perfection. He is just trying to get by, as a woman would. This is how you can spot them. Men acting like women. It's all they know.

[Qdbrown]

Which brings me full circle back to you and this topic. If you go with this idea of happy wife, happy life and be the good husband who is always there, trying to be the best husband in the world, you will suffer a lot of indiginjty.

Women simply do not respect men who act like 'The Help.' That said the trick is to help without becoming the janitor of the household. If you do too much, or become mommy's little trooper, the woman has no way to feel right but find a man to make her feel like a woman. She will certainly cheat on you and eventually leave you after she treats you like a doormat. It's not because she is a bad person. This is what humans do.

Look at any organization. The same rule applies over and over. You will never see the CEO come down and talk with the bottom level employees as equals. Never. You will never see a General in the military come down and hang out and be one of the guys with the grunts. And you will never see a woman marry below her standards. Ever. If you see it, you are witnesses midstream before she leaves the poor dummy who couldn't establish his masculine energy.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@hahahmm This is why I call it age old mentality. Women don't need us to take care of them. Not anymore.
"To take care of them". "Less than that". You need to understand that for modern girls a being taken care off is settling for less.
One doesn't need to be the boss and order the other around. That's not the ideal. Honetsly I could NEVER respect a girl who would kiss the floor I walk on.

You are almost 50 too. Your genaration just doesn't get it.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

I love when the old guard bring up the "like other animals" point. Don't go there. The animals we share more DNA are bonobos and they actually live in a matriarchy so really don't go there. Don't get me wrong I don't say we should have a matriarchy. I am saying don't compared us to other animals or you will have it.

"She cannot control that"
What do you think women are? In fact what do you think humans are? Do you know how much we have elvolved? What you described doesn't exist has a "nature". Is a voluntary action that SOME women make. And that is what you don't undestand.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 not all humans are bonobos. Some are Chimp-like, Guerrilla and other Arangatangs. Some might even be like spider monkeys.

And with an Econ background, yes, people are extrodinarily predictable. Even women, what motivates them, their hot buttons, their reactions, their desires. When it comes to marketing to them, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown You didn't understood. DNA wise, our closest relatives in the animal kingdom are bonobos. There is no "some humans are more like this or that". Each specie's has its genetic information and ours is more similar with bonobos than any other animal.
Again, doesn't mean we behave like them. Or like any other animal.

You should look at how the younger generations are acting now. We want out wives to have jobs. For real I have two guys I work with that have their wives unemployed. When one of them got a job my coworker told everyone super happy. And we are not trash collectors! We are top tier engineers at a company. This is how things are now.
On the other hand women want us to help around the house. I have three brothers and fours sisters. My father is of your generation. My sisters prove his ideas wrong everyday.
Things changed.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 wow, so you think I am your dad, and humans share DNA to bonobos, which if you're comparing DNA to organisms we are also closely related to mushrooms.

Of course the real proof is in that humans act more like chimps than bonobos, although bonobos are known to be aggressive to strangers, it's the chimps when older can become quite evil and kill stuff for recreation. That's more of a human quality, comparing to our active shooters and serial killers. That is seen in male wild hogs too! Dangerous angry male animals. bonobos are not seen doing that quite to the same degree.

I love how you young people assume you have it figured out, and your all living in ideal state. Give it to somewhere around or after 35. The older generation is not that dissimilar fro the younger. Everyone has their day so to speak.

And the rates are still getting bad. Right now, with the same trend humans will be extinct in a few generations. Something will happen of course and save the very resourceful and aggressive human race. We have destroyed more life in our own name, just for giggles.

Another war will eventually come. Not sure who with, but the cycle will repeat itself. The little fantasy island you live on will become more known later on, once you learn the other side of the equation, once you learn human balance in an ecosystem. Once you experience what has been going on before centuries before you.

The main laughable quality is that you young folks think your somehow special. Like you have it figured out. And to think some dumb humans named their ship after the titans, said no force including god could sink it, and well, so much for human arrogance.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown my argument about our similar DNA with bonobos was that makes no sense trying to compare humans to animals. The one we share more DNA with has a society structure that is the opposite of ours. You can try to make comparisons all you want. But humans are on a tier of their own. Far more evolved than any other. We have free will.

About the rest I will just say, we will see. Next 30 years will tell if we have it more figure out than you or not.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 your the one that said we were more like Bonobos after saying our DNA is closer to them. Yes, we are not the same monkey. We have our quirks.

So we all ready know the balance is going out of control on the female side of affairs around the world. Mainly in the West, but men are going way longer as virgins than ever known before. Now you have those Incels you spoke about. You also have those Man's Rights guys, the MGTOW, the PUA's, which is considered the inverse incel from their motivation and self esteem, you have all these upset older divorced guys like me, and you have guys that are just turning into asexuals. This is never been known in our recorded history.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8
There is something else. Women having been tracking closer, and might have surpassed men in the cheating department. We are still waiting for the numbers on that one, but given divorce and breakups are staying constant, and many relationships staying short and now more single people than married, the cycle has us hard over on the female side. As the theory goes, either we keep tracking where women keep smearing guys are nearly worthless as we see in all media and college curriculums. Or we see a purge, or a war. Some think purge with communism has a long tradition of purging groups as the facist did in their time as well. Different idealogies with that similarity. Of course a gold war could shift things. The only thing we know is that life is always changing, but it pronouced waves, not unlike a radio or harmonic wave. Light as well if you need another scientific possibility. Everything moves in cycles, and there is generally the Yeng and Yang idea, binary 0 and 1, and then light and absolute darkness from a void, going into the constant shift in the entire universe respectively, based on theories.

My last inferred joke is that your generation is connected to your dad's. Whether it keeps going, whatever you think was a dark time in human history in regards to make domination of the mating game will swing back around. It's a mathematical certainly. Just the fact that it was, and has been there. To where we are now, will keep going until it swings back. Just like a radio wave. The river flows in a pattern. And we all doing down the same channel of that wave.

So laugh it up. You will lean soon enough.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown my generation has different struggles and flaws. But also different values and qualities. As of right now is still men of your generation ruling the world. I am very curious to see how the world will be like when we take over. But honestly, I am not worried. Media makes us all worry more than we need.

[hahahmm]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 Ha! You say women don't need us to take care of them. Wrong, sucker. When a violent criminal breaks into your home at 3AM your woman is going to hide behind you unless she's a very rare type. When her car breaks down, IF she trusts you and IF you aren't just useless, you'll be the one she expects/trusts to help her deal with that. The list goes on. At least 50% of women do want a man who is a protector type. It's not even about *need* but what women want. Studies found that all hetero women, even feminists prefer sexist men to the butt kissers and wimpy "women are always right" types. Yes, some woman has you convinced that she's satisfied with you. The truth is that she settled for you because she couldn't convince a better guy to take her BS. But you do you.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@hahahmm I just love this logic...
In a modern country the chances of a life death encounter are extremely low. We are not caveman anymore, they don't need physical protection.
About the rest our society is made so that anymore can just call technical assistance and solve problems. I can be a man and not know how to change a tire, but I can solve it with a phone call.
So no. They don't need protection.

"Nice guy" and "good guy" are very different. They want the good guy. Not the "nice guy". Don't confuse the two.

I know that in your simple head she just settled with me otherwise the world doesn't make sense. But I know that other men, far richer men than me, have made moves on her. Still with me.

I am really sorry you have never been truly loved by a woman. This is probably you coping mechanism "I never had it and no one does!". Not how it works.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 I would disagree that we are not cavemen anymore. We are not that far from that age. We still have the basic needs and wants of cavemen. Very needs and wants.

And the women still so value strong men. If you're a weak and short guy, you're still a virgin with no hope but to mate unless they can get sums of money. This is a constant. Women inheritely seek out the best men. Not house workers, not Mr. mom's or the help.

They seek out strong and capable guys. If you are that guy, you're not wasting your time on house work.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown I 100% agree that you need to have qualities. Of course you do. But a good sense of humor today is a more appreciated quality then the strength to cut a tree with an axe.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 until you need to cut down a tree with an axe. There is a phrase I once years, when the power goes out, feminism will go along with it.

Axes will get popular again when and if we can legalize a type of duel where guys can freely terminate their competition in a duel, when offended or annoyed. When that days comes back, you won't catch guys in the kitchen.

Right now we have a nuclear arensal and crap lot of guns as a deterent to assume they will always be there and plentiful might be a far gone conclusion each new decade and century.

Maybe after some domination, the weaker men will find a certain amount of truth in Darwin, and the world shift to a different place.

Just the fact that we are talking about men doing housework, and if women are attracted to that? No. Women just want more easy in their life, like when washing machines and microwaves became a thing. Men made it possible for women to be equal, for now. Just the fact that they are not in nature means the script will get flipped at somepoint. Maybe when power goes off. Maybe after a thermal nuclear blast or sun explosion of radiation blast.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown if a war ever happens we have the military to fight it. No need to axe fight anyone.

If lights go out, literally 99.9% of people will reach for their phones and candles for light while a very selective few work to turn it back on.

Look I don't know what to tell you. I have sisters, I have girls friends and the ones living together all share household chores with their partners. It made sense to only one do it when only men worked outside of the house. But all of them have jobs so that doesn't work anymore.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 hey, I am not talking blackout. I am talking months or years to get the power back on. And if we lose lights for months, it's going to get medival around here. Just look up what happen when Katrina came through New Orleans. It just took 48 hours for a total loss of civilization.

Whatever works for you now is the most important thing at that moment, to you. keep rocking it.

[hahahmm]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 This is my last comment since this is going in circles. You wrote: "In a modern country the chances of a life death encounter are extremely low. We are not caveman anymore, they don't need physical protection". Ha! When you encounter a violent mugger, kidnapper, killer or rapist who's after your woman, be sure to tell him that he's not a caveman. Might make you feel better about getting your azz beat.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@hahahmm last time that happened I beat them down. But just because it happened to me once doesn't mean it's usual. Not worried and neither is my wife.
I stand by what I said. We are not caveman anymore. Physical protection on a daily basis is not necessary

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown I remember that event. Child birth actually increased after that because people were at home a lot, not much else do do since the power was out. For the most part people didn't start being more violent. They were americans and they showed a stronger sense of community than I expected.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 not with Katrina. People openly attacked and shot at others just walking around. There were spray painted signs warning of trespass, my favorite was we have no money, no valuables and my wife is ugly.

I remember other countries were shocked how we handled that one. I was not too far away and I remember the city turned away bus loads of people. I remember the group of people that tried to walk out of New Orleans, and all the crimes and atrocities at the Superdome.

It was when all that was going down that I realized we still live in a former pirate society. The privateers are long gone, but their spirit still lives on with all their families and people put ashore during the 19th century.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown So there was a bunch of people being violente and stupid that made the news? What else is new? There are people out there just waiting for the excuse.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 yes they are. It would anarchy in minutes if the cops and authorities were not in charge, or overwhelmed when the power goes off for days, loss of fuel pumps, grocery deliveries to stores, and in about two weeks back to caveman existence. At least when the power comes back on weeks or months later, we will not have to reinvent technology we know now. There would just be less people there to use it.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown do you think those people causing chaos were the majority? If they were you live in a really shitty country. Regardless even their world countries that live in the same conditions that the people in the US lived after Katrina every day of their lives, don't act like that. So don't excuse those morons with "we are like caveman." No. They made the decision to go postal.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 yes, many to most that stayed were bad, including all the local New Orleans cops that stoled all the new Lexus cars and called them Police Cars. There were scores of dead people laying around. Most were assumed drowned, but many had bullets in them.

The rest fled are are scattered all over the country, and not many can go back because developers came in, purchased up all the land very cheap and built fancy apartments, stores and entertainment that made it impossible for the locals to come back. They can't afford the new codes the city set to bring up the neighborhoods or the new higher tax rates. It's pretty wild all said.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown that does sound like the country that had the capitol invaded not long ago.

[Qdbrown]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 wow. I think we call the Capitol Riot a lot of thinks, a few hundred people coming in, no weapons, plastic handcuffs at best, is a just a riot. Not an attack. Most were invited in by the police in the side entrances.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@qdbrown I am not even going to adress that. Otherwise this will never end.

[OlderAndWiser]

She did not cheat on you because you cooked or cleaned, and she was not going to refrain from cheating as a way of expressing gratitude. Cheaters are totally self-centered and they cheat because of their character flaws.

If you are someone who contributes to the work in a relationship (I, too, cook and clean,) it is easy to say someone used you when the relationship doesn't work. The things that you (and I) do are nice, but they are not things that keep a relationship alive.

[Fembot9000]

And that you didn't hold her accountable for her share- she probably saw you as someone she could use. Easy life at home and having all the fun she wanted. You are probably a catch but aren't finding women who appreciate your contribution. Legit- don't change. You are doing just fine. If I was going to go out with a guy and end up back at his place and it is clean, well put together, ect- that's a huge point in your favor as real partner material.

[Qdbrown]

Wow. You should read my thread above this one.

Yes, she did cheat on you if you do too much around the house. Same secret, if a woman is truly invested in you, she will not let you do too much. And if you do too much she will lose respect for you. You become 'the help' at some point and she has no choice but to find a real man to make her feel like a woman. That's what you're really grappling with.

Cook and clean on your own terms, and not regularly. Have strong standards and not scared to put her in her place in a respectful way. You become the help, and your a slave.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Qdbrown MGTOW view of the universe.

[Qdbrown]

I will say I know their talking points, but mine is from divorce recovery. Just because a divorce guy has a cynical idea of how people work in modern environments doesn't mean you're flying flags and a fanboy.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Qdbrown I have much more familiarity with divorce that you do, I'm sure. But your experience with your divorce does not mean that all women are like your ex.

[Qdbrown]

No, but they certainly have the potential to be. And I say that as a decade later I am friends with my ex, but not crazy enough to ever take another wife. I also keep myself reasonably in a safe distance from ever letting another women even occupy my home, for even a single night.

I was just watching content of bi women talking about dating other bi and lesbian women and they echo the same thing. Modern women can come up with so much drama and false allegations in their circles. It's not isolated to any one group.

When you bring a woman in, or too close, sure she might seem like a great gal for sure, but she can change and she can do just about anything. My biggest issue post divorce is women claiming to wanting a relationship, but we're still seeing other guys in their past. They never admitted, but I was generally able to discover weeks or a few months into the relationship. And this was very common to where I no longer even value relationships. All disposable.

I find that we guys like to tell ourselves things and believe in things we ought not to. We hope for the best and get constantly disappointed. And you can have a great relationship, think things are finally there and boom. The only gift is if the boom happens earlier than later. I had one go nearly two year and boom, found out she occasionally saw an old flame.

You don't have to become an expert in divorce to understand it's dumb in this day in age to even seem common lawed, much less married. It's just too easy for the relationship to fall apart.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Qdbrown If you are that afraid of women and don't trust your judgment in selecting the right one, then you should certainly stay away from them.

Common law marriage is only recognized in about ten of our fifty states.

[Qdbrown]

Yes, I even fear my daughter now. But that was because she tried to cancel me for making fun of her tran friends.

And my State has common law.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Qdbrown What state are you in?

[Qdbrown]

Texas. Current law states living together for two years. The gray area is when dating starts. Some attorneys have argued successfully that when the woman first spent night as the starting point.

But that is only the common law part. The second is coming back and trying to sue for loss and damages over the relationship if they help spend on anything around your house. My friend had that one. Woman brings over a lot of property over several months. It gets moved around and thrown away. She comes back after the breakup and wants all of that back.

And then of course all the false allegations of threats, physical harm and weapons. I have had my run ins there as well, so pretty nervous about being in any position to be caught doing anything on pure hearsay is my fear. I have cameras and microphones all over the house. I was told this in of itself is a hostile situation, if she finds out all conversations are being recorded. No cameras in bathrooms or bedrooms. But the mics are powerful. I am able to pick up my neighbors when they are in their backyard on playbacks. In Texas only one party has to know about the recordings.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Qdbrown You are wrong about there being a durational requirement for common law marriage in Texas.

www.texasbar.com/.../...isplay.cfm&ContentID=46987

[Apple1996]

I'm not into men that cook and clean. In my relationship it's best that my husband helps me watch the kids while I do all the cooking and cleaning so I can catch some time away from my kids.

[exitseven]

I used to do that. Mostly my wife always found fault in the way that I did domestic chores and lets face it, I cannot cook although I have improved.

[Apple1996]

@exitseven I dont blame her, i can't watch my husband cook cause everything he does bothers my OCD 😬

[exitseven]

That must be difficult in a funny sort of a way. 😊😊😊

[Asker]

You are like Monica 🤣

[Prideful]

The traditional way, I like it. Don't mind if we helph cooking and cleaning that's really not that big of a deal !

[CherryRoseChampange]

Nah I appreciate when guys cook and clean. It means they're a functioning adult that can do their share just like me. I like that.

[coachTanthony]

--------------Scientists who have conducted research on domestic chores say that wives feel it is a sign of love and caring when men contribute to the chores. Therefore, they are more sexually attracted to their mates. One Scientist said wives may be less stressed about balancing work and home if men help out.

~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

[MzAsh]

Yes, mature women require a man who does his share of the chores.

[hahahmm]

Right... because you're going to do your share of car repair, air conditioning maintenance & repair, climbing up in the attic and fixing damaged beams, clearing the gutters, household security. You're also willing to take a bullet for your man like he's willing to take one for you. Sit down. You may have got a few suckers convinced that they don't do enough OR you only get with guys who have nothing to offer.

[hahahmm]

Not to mention truly traditional relationships where the man is paying 99% of the bills. He gave at the office. Make him a sandwich.

[MzAsh]

He prefers to make me the sandwiches.

[Seinna]

Depends - if we're both working then I expect us to share housework. If I wasn't working (staying with the children) then I would take on all of the chores. But either way, it would be a big turn off if he couldn't cook anything or take care of himself... it's an adult skill that everyone should have. Imagine that I'd cook all the time which is ok, we can agree to it - but one time I get sick or something else happens and we have children and all he can do is order a take away? It's a major turn off, like having another child.

[ManhattanMan1212]

Can I ask you a question

[Seinna]

@ManhattanMan1212 Sure

[ManhattanMan1212]

Could you date a man that doesn’t have a big penis

[Seinna]

@ManhattanMan1212 It wouldn't be a deal breaker

[ManhattanMan1212]

Is 6.5 inches length and 4.7 inches girth small to you

[Seinna]

@ManhattanMan1212 I think it's ok... but penis size would not be an important factor unless it was extreme. Other things about a man are more important. Like if he's good at household chores :P

[ManhattanMan1212]

Have you had sex with a guy that was average or smaller

[Seinna]

@ManhattanMan1212 These questions are getting a bit too personal for me so I'm going to stop this conversation here :)

[PantherMime]

That really sucks, man. Sorry that happened to you. I think this is one of those things which need to be genuinely hashed out in the early stages of the relationship simply because we get so many mixed messages from people online. Some women want their man to cook, some don't. Some men want their woman to be submissive in every way, some don't. You've gotta take things on a case-by-case basis. If you like cooking or if you want to cook, tell your next girlfriend. Ask her if she's cool with that or if she'd prefer to do most of the cooking.

And, of course, it could be that her cheating had nothing to do with the cooking/chores? Sometimes people are just shitty for the sake of it.

[midnightmoon05]

In a well rounded relationship, there is more than who does the chores. if both work, both need to contribute. Not because one does, the other will check. That’s the wrong logic.
to apply your logic, then women cook and clean them all men will cheat?
communicate with your partner, know your partner... if you are doing things to please her alllllll the time then she will have no respect for you.
Don’t punish the next woman because of your mistake. Learn from it and have a good understanding/discussion the role of each other. Its never 50/50, but try to balance the love, work, life together.

my partner is a stay at home husband, it’s works great... however, when I am not stressed out after along work day, or on weekends, I love cooking with him. It’s fun to do things together. he takes care of the household stuff I normally don’t know much about or too stress out to take care of. And he takes kids to school.

[Espresso-Grande]

It's great if a guy is independent and can cook and do housechores.

I'd rather have a balanced sort of relationship, where we both cook and clean etc.

I'd hate to be in a relationship where the guy expected me to be a maid and chef lol but I'd also hate it just as much if he did everything for me lol

[Asker]

That depends , if you can cook and clean well that’s not a problem. But what if they girl is a mess in cooking and cleaning. I don’t think every girl now a days know those...

[Espresso-Grande]

Cooking and cleaning isn't rocket science though. Lol make me a sandwich, 😂a guy doesn't need to be Gordon Ramsay lol

[Asker]

Wow you are so easy to please 😊, just with a sandwitch. But I cook good , not on Ramsay level but at least can make some items from several countries..😅

[snackthatsmilesback]

I think you just dated a bitch dude. I cook all the time and my wife is totally cool.

That being said do set rules and learn from it if you feel you got taken advantage of here. Absolutely don't do as much in your next relationship if you don't want to commit to that. Absolutely try taking a more traditional role, who knows it may work better. But also do keep in mind most women are different, so if the next one does appreciate a cooking cleaning man and she's a good woman, don't necessarily rule out the same approach that failed this time, because it sounds like this time it was just the woman who failed you.

[Asker]

Yes perhaps , you are right. But the main problem is I cook well 😅, probably better than most people. Chances are her food will be mess 🤭

[PeacefulRainDrop]

I love my man he loves to cook... I like cooking too but prefer baking.. so he does the cooking, I bake, we both share in the cleaning and yard work.

Im sorry that was your experience!! I wouldn't associate that you doing those things leads to cheating... I dont know why she cheated or why anyone does except self motivates... the best is yet to come!

[PeacefulRainDrop]

He uses cooking to clear his head.. its his time to recharge.. we both hate laundry so we do that together too.. a relationship is a partnership.. the two individuals can discuss what methods work for them. :)

[hellionthesagereborn]

Well, what women say is that yes they do but what statistical data says is that they very much do not. Statistically men who do traditionally "female" chores get less sex, meanwhile the women who complain about their spouse/SO not doing these things tend to have more sex with the man they complain about. So I am a big believer in following what a person does not what they say because words are used to manipulate others but actions always tell the truth.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that you did it and expected it to mean shit to her.

If you cook and clean, it's to prove that she's a lazy bitch, otherwise you're proving you at last want to be pegged or fucking cheated on.

Use your fucking brain. Im not kidding. Yesterday i got so deep into meditating that i saw this black dot. It started speaking to me, i spoke back. I covered my eyes with my hands to get a better look at it, cause there was a glare from the sun coming through the window. Then it said "you won't see me any better in the dark, man." So i uncovered my eyes and saw this black sphere. It was talking. I felt it living inside of my head to. It's like i was looking at my soul. This black void has told me some interesting things.
I've realized it's always been there, just in the back of my mind. I had always ignored it.
Use your brain.

[Interstate]

It sounds as though household chores is what she enjoys doing, and you took that away from her. As for Women who complain when Men don't help, then take advantage when they do tells me she doesn't appreciate him. In that case, he needs to speak up and say tell her it is time for her to help, or he is walking. Marriage is a two-way street. And if she isn't willing to make the drive, she isn't worth the effort.

[Asker]

I wasn’t married and she was messy in cooking and cleaning. I had to reclean stuffs most of the time

[Interstate]

I remember back during my days of being engaged, I would have to clean up after Lisa from time-to-time.

[Omario2049]

Believe it or not it's a slippery slope. U have to be VERY careful. What women say and what women do often do not corelate. They lack the self awareness to realise what they actually respond to. They'll say they love a man who does house chores because it makes their life easier but in reality it makes their pussy dry up. Just like being nice and respectful to them. When women talk they're really talking about the absolute tyrannical dominant alpha males who treat women like trash. Not regular guys.

[45Fstraight]

Yes. My dad is an alpha male and my parents are traditional. With that being said, they always had an arrangement that still works for them to this day. My dad does the shopping and cooking. My mom does the cleaning. It works beautifully!

When one person does everything, it can lead to feelings of resentment.

[Asker]

Yes true. I had to as she didn’t know cooking and her cleaning was always messy. I had to rewash plates and room again after her.

[shydude1991]

Alpha or beta are not real in humans

[MeghanL]

I appreciate it very much.

I'm not useless in a kitchen myself but Scott is a good cook, & also attentive to housekeeping. I appreciate the teamwork & having help with things.

[natured]

I think they should participate, especially on their days off, sometimes my partner has days off during working week while i don't... and since he's home he does all the chores, he might not to them perfectly like I do, but I NEVER TELL HIM THAT because just the fact that ne helped out is amazing and I appreciate it with my hole heart.
Also, he cooks way better than me

[Shamalien]

Not sure the chores have any bearing on her being a cheating bitch. I would say this though... a woman should submit to her man. A man should demand this. If he doesn’t, who knows what she’ll do. If you can be a good enough person not to cheat and she submits to you, to that mentality, there will be no cheating

[bamesjond0069]

Finally some common sense is clicking in your head. Dont listen to women. What they have to say is mostly wrong. Women only respect traditional roles. Never ever do house stuff and you will be happy. Or do all that just to get cheated on again. The choice is yours.

[AD240pCharlie]

You devide the chores based on what suits you and what works best for you. If a woman is a much better cook than the man and enjoys cooking, then why shouldn't she be the one taking care of that? On the other hand, maybe the same woman absolutely hates cleaning but the man has no problem with that whatsoever, then why shouldn't he be the one doing the cleaning?
As long as you communicate what you want and neither of you take the other and what they're doing for granted.

[Asker]

What if someone’s messy at cleaning and cooking. Now a days most are like that...

[Account]

It is not a matter of like or dislike. It is required. They are human beings too. They should cook and do chores as well. It is only fair.
Both men and women work now, so it is only fair to divide the household chores.

[Asker]

www.usatoday.com/.../

[Account]

I would never accept being with someone and me doing the household chores on my own. I don't like irresponsible human beings.