Do you judge your partner by their family?

[Anonymous]

Like if they had a bit of a crazy or bad family would you end it with them?

[OlderAndWiser]

In my experience, I have dated a few girls who had crazy families and my initial question was "how could she turn out normal coming from such a fucked up family?" After six months, my question was "how could I have missed the warning signs that this girl is crazier than Joe Cunt's dog?"

No, I don't think you should judge someone entirely by their family, but it should be warning sign and you should have your radar on high alert for incoming craziness.

[NathanDavis]

No, never judge... and especially not making decisions about her based on people that ARE NOT HER

that would be something very stupid for me to do

but of course, there would be some very very rare exceptions, in which I would have to consider the circumstances, for example, if the family is extremely horrific and then she has "no problem" with it, then I would definitely have to wonder and ponder what's up with that?

[kyleelyn199723]

Nope I do not. My boyfriends dad died from a drug overdose and my boyfriend has not touched a drug in his life. Not even weed. He does however have trauma from his life, and I think his views on life are from his trauma, but I would never judge him for that

[Asker]

It’s right that you don’t judge hun but if he’s going to be the father of your children are you concerned that these issues could be passed on in other ways?

[kyleelyn199723]

Me and him don’t want kids. If we do end up having a kid, I do completely trust him. He is a go getter, has never touched a drug , and prides himself on success. He is more mature than his friends and any guy I have dated before. I also come from a family with fucked up history and I pride myself on the same things he does. I also hope he does not judge me because of my family. My ex judged me for my family and my ex turned out to be the more fucked up one in our relationship.

[kyleelyn199723]

I mean how can I judge when I feel like everyone’s views in life come from their family? Even the good aspects. I am a go getter because my father owns a business and I witnessed him in life be a go getter with money, as my mother is a gambler and wastes all her money. Which side should he judge me on?

[Pinay_ako]

depends but most likely yes… I’d end it with them depends on how crazy or bad his family is

[sage2021]

I wouldn't get involved with a guy that has a crazy family. Who needs that?

[Asker]

He may be distant from his family. Things don’t always need to be written off right away if he himself is a great catch.

[sage2021]

I am answering for myself. I grew up in a crazy family and that is why I don't want anything more to happen to me. I was the only one in my family that never drank alcohol or got high on drugs. I pretty much stayed in my room and locked the door or was out with my friends to get away from living in a crazy house. I even went to a 12-step program to learn how to deal with growing up in a dysfunctional family. I went there for 2-1/2 years and I didn't even use that stuff. He might be a nice guy and all, but a person doesn't go unscathed growing up with adysfunctional family.

[libsaretards]

My only concern is her parents. I do not care if they have bad habits or whatever, but I do care if we can get along. I never want to force a woman to choose between me or her family. I want to win over her parents and the whole family be harmonious.

[TrueConfection]

Yes. Sorta. If I was dating and found out his family was mafia, I'm out. If I found out his dad beat his mom, I'm out. If he was supporting the drug addictions of his family members, I'm out.

[TrueConfection]

Also, if his last name was Kennedy or Biden... you guessed it, I'm out.

[RawIronhide]

No, maybe he's embarrassed by them, however I do think it's important to be able to get along with the family.

[iamElisa]

no, people alone grow up after a while, it's absurd to attribute this to the family.

[Asker]

I agree

[slatyb]

I would think carefully. If they are tight with their family and accept their behavior as normal, then it's a no.

[exitseven]

No, I knew a guy whose wife came from a really crazy family. She was really nice and they have been married for 40 years.

[Chazt3r]

"its not about where you come from. Its about where you're going." -john Dillinger.

[HaveNoName]

You do that BEFORE you decide to get married as far as you can. If you start having problems with some in your spouse's family AFTER, then you learn to deal with it without fireworks.

[Prettysteena7]

Depends, I’ve been there and done that. My experience was that I left him, it depends how big is he with family. But you can have a crazy family and be a sane person, my family is crazy but I act different from that.. Just watch his actions.

[Sugar100]

I never met a guys family. Me and boyfriend only date but we never will meet family.

[Dvchill]

They aren’t there family and if I’m with someone I’m with them! That being said I can get a lot of incite into y they r the way they r.

[Dchrls78104]

No; only by her actions would I judge my partner, if I had one. Still, it would be hard for me to date a girl whose family had criminal connections.

[Finchie40]

Not at all, everyone has crazy in their family

[Asker]

Many do yeah

[Finchie40]

It comes down to if your partner chooses you over their family as well , that’s what matters the most , if a partner sides with their family over their partner then that relationship will not last

[Asker]

Yeah true

[shah2001]

Yeah if ur partner has a big family u might not like it if ur introvert

[poneglyphs]

I have no idea but it would depend

[Asker]

On what…

[poneglyphs]

on their actions and on how they act around me. If they try to steal from me or do the same things as his family does.

[Anonymous]

i don't even like my family so what's your point?

[In_Trance]

sometimes

[Open2It]

Not necessarily.

[Diya010]

No, i don't do that

[RexLion]

No, I don't