I didn't feel love for my daughter, I only feel she is responsibility/burden on me. Am I wrong?

[tasleen]

[ohshee]

No you're not wrong at all I say that wishing you could trade places with her and then you tell me if she's wrong for feeling that way towards you do you have postpartum Blues do you love anybody in this world have you ever been hungry have you ever had to do without. Have you ever been lost. Have you ever had somebody in your life just walk away from you ignore you I look into your eyes and that not what I see I think you should take one day and spend the whole day with her do everything together listen to her teacher love her she is you

[ZackBan]

Wrong in every possible way imaginable.
Most parents poor their love to their kids and those kids end up with a complex that their parents didn't love them. Now you actually don't love your own kid just imagine what she will turn out to be. And just remember she is your heir, your bloodline, your image in a new body that's the whole point of reproduction, so hating her is basically hating yourself.

[sage2021]

Then you shouldn't have spread your legs open and let yourself get pregnant. And yes, you are wrong. The world is cruel enough to people, but when your own mother doesn't love you, you are going to ruin her life. Damn it! She didn't ask to be born. But now that she is, you better be nice to her! I feel so sorry for her to have a mother like you. It literally made me sick to my stomach while I was reading your question. You make me sick! And I don't like you!!

[yofuknutz]

Maybe the guy forgot to pull out it felt so good he stayed inside.

[HollyK21]

All children deserve to feel the love and acceptance of their parents. If I were you, I’d try getting to to root of why I feel so negatively towards my child, and figure out ways to fix it (if you’re interested).

[kyleelyn199723]

I mean , that is a burden and responsibly you chose to have. Sex is sex and sometimes you just end up pregnant from sex. She is 15 and you never looked at her and thought she was a blessing? Is she a bad kid? What has she done to make you feel this way?

[tasleen]

I never chosen to be mother it's my husband who wants it.
Not a bad kid but it's like I feel that after her birth my life finished

[kyleelyn199723]

“You never chose to be a mother” I hate to say this, but when you have sex, you are choosing to be a mother. Don’t put this on your husband. The way you talk, I’m surprised he hasn’t divorced you. He would be so heart broken to find out the creation of his child was only his idea. It takes two. Your life isn’t finished. You chose to live an unfulfilling life afterward. What haven’t you been able to do ever since she has been born?

[yofuknutz]

Alright everybody let's take it easy okay we all admit she agreed to open her legs to get pregnant she just doesn't like the end result of it I got that some of my kids are drawing me fucking stir crazy but nonetheless she is here looking for advice and that's what this post is all about maybe she's repressed by her culture maybe she can't do Anonymous counseling that will be nice come on don't be so judgmental sugar tits let's give her a helping hand it sounds like her and maybe even her husband needs therapy now with that said there are no guarantees therapy when I went to one when I was married I used to come out more angrier than when I went in you know my therapy was in the long run not drugs not talkin leaving I left a very toxic situation not the easiest thing my dad also did the same thing when I was a child looking back I don't blame him it still sucks but people don't have to put up with toxic families

[kyleelyn199723]

@yofuknutz I’m not being judge mental. The end result to opening your legs is pregnancy. Don’t like it? Then don’t do it.

[yofuknutz]

I'm not disagreeing with you but come on let's take it easy the good Lord Jesus God gave us to enjoy each other I mean let's face it fucking marriage is hard enough as it is and complicated as well sex is supposed to be the fruit of marriage but this lady is asking us for help let's try to help her out leave the dick that usually my job anyway

[kyleelyn199723]

@yofuknutz I know shit happens but I don’t understand parents like this. How can you not look at your child at all and think they are a blessing? Regardless of how stressed you are. Sex is the fruit to reproduction. I know it’s complicated for people to understand because devilish people invented abortions

[yofuknutz]

I'm not justifying her behavior okay I'll to use Saddam Hussein for a second his mother wished she has abortion after he shot a teacher with a revolver he went home and went to sleep you know how the police found him the revolver was still warm after that his mother wished he was never born there are some people in this world we do not know teenage girl we do not know the mother it's too bad a daughter is not here to give her side of the story

[kyleelyn199723]

@yofuknutz I asked her if her teen daughter was a bad daughter and she said she’s not, so? I’m not judgmental , I can take and understand someone saying “hey I wish I could go back and change sleeping with this guy, my life may have been different” but to say you have never looked at your child with love is actually haunting.

[yofuknutz]

It is and she's going to have to deal with that

[kyleelyn199723]

@yofuknutz I am dating someone that felt unloved by his dad and let me tell you something, it affects my boyfriend every single day. Seriously though, loving your child is absolutely important. Love builds us

[yofuknutz]

I agree with you so let's try to give her constructive advice remember she's from a different culture and it's totally screwed up or maybe we're the ones that are screwed up I can't even tell anymore

[kyleelyn199723]

@yofuknutz I think my advice was pretty responsible to be honest. If I created a baby with somebody and they said it was basically my idea only, I probably would never talk to them ever again. And I think it is a choice to live an unfulfilling life after a major life event. There’s not really much that you can’t do with or without a child. You may have a little bit more freedom, but seriously it’s a balance. That’s a choice. I asked her what she hasn’t been able to do since her daughter was born, and she couldn’t even answer that.

[kyleelyn199723]

I think people need to understand that living breathing things you decide to put on earths are not throw away things. People have sex and don’t understand what sex is for.

[yofuknutz]

People treated like as a freak Show when it supposed to be holy

[Jake99999]

My guess is that you DO love her, but like any normal person you feel the pressure and burden of being accountable. Its hard being a parent. Just keep on going day by day and I think this feeling you have will change / will pass. Having a child is a very special thing. But its not easy. Hang in there

[SHREYASH007]

I know what is the problem, you acould not enjoy the way she enjoys and think she is responsible for that, I mean you think even though you are of her parent generation but you are actually of current generation in terms of thinking and lifestyle right.

[Kaneki05]

Nah not wrong. I would feel the same probably why i won't have kids. But if you didn't know that was the way your gonna feel how are you to blame for having a kid and not knowing.

[tasleen]

I wish I too didn't have kid

[Kaneki05]

That's honest, a lot people would lie about that or feel the need to conform that people should just love there kids no matter what. When in reality we all feel different and it's okay to not.

[tasleen]

Nice to hear such good words. Thank you

[Bklynbadboy12]

I hope that's not true cause all kids need and want love and if you feel like that I know your not giving her the love she needs. The way you say that is like your angry at her for being born but you chose this you chose to have a baby. This is so unfair to her

[loves2learn]

@tasleen honey I think you and your child need therapy. It sounds to me that that you and her never properly bonded. That could be extremely damaging to both of you. Please seek help from a therapist!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Well, you should have placed her up for adoption in America many people would care for her, Do you only wish as an American that I wish I could adopt a child?

@GirlsAskGuys

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Mr. Administrator, I have issues accepting this persons post/ question
I flagged it and wish for you to look to see what you can do about it
Thank You

[yofuknutz]

It may be a offensive but people need to start asking a question

[pinaypixie]

No, some toddlers are just born with weak vibes. Jk but um I hope you find something in common with your child and hopefully that can create a stronger, better bond between you both

[yofuknutz]

Very good advice from a young person excellent

[pinaypixie]

lollll thanks fam @yofuknutz nice user

[yofuknutz]

Trust me I'm not always nice ask anybody here but I tried to speak the truth

[Andres77]

Yeah, you're wrong.
She's your daughter.
She didn't ask to be born.

I feel guilty about thinking about my pets like that.

[OddBeMe]

Your feelings are never wrong. But I imagine you have some depression. I bet you do love your daughter but are just feeling over burdened. Therapy could help. Mild meds could help.

[Youdumbeotch]

You’re just a sociopath. You should never have had kids but given that you’re attractive it’s not like you could’ve ran from it forever

[Anonymous]

You should have kept your legs closed or used birth control. The world doesn't need nasty women like you, and now your daughter has a nasty bitch for a mom.

[yofuknutz]

Oh boy! Here we go.

[whatsthereinname]

Would you like it if you're mother felt the same way

[EaterPeter]

Not wrong. There has to be a good reason for you to feel that way.

[EaterPeter]

You are Punjabi, right?

[Starman5]

You are thinking wrong. child is very important. never a burden. You should take good care of him.

[loveslongnails]

Did you EVER love her? How old is she now?

[tasleen]

She is 15

[loveslongnails]

Did you EVER love her? If so, until when?

[tasleen]

I don't know... I always felt like she is my blood my best think but as she start growing I started feeling burden

[loveslongnails]

Well, if you "don't know" that you EVER loved her, then you probably didn't. You ask if you are "wrong" to feel that way? No, you feel what you feel. You were more likely wrong to ever have the child in the first place. She's the one who is probably most damaged here. I hope she has a father who can make up for the love you don't show her.

[tasleen]

Yes she have father which according to her is best

[loveslongnails]

Good for her. Maybe she'll grow up to be well adjusted, since it's not likely you're helping.

[tasleen]

But in all this I lost my life

[loveslongnails]

Nobody forced you to get pregnant, did they?

[tasleen]

My husband wanted child

[loveslongnails]

You chose your husband. If you didn't want children in your marriage, and he did, you should have figured that out before you tied the knot. There's no way you deserve sympathy for your situation. She'll be 18 in three years - an adult - and you have plenty of years left to do what you want.

[HollyK21]

@loveslongnails I can understand that you’re getting frustrated but remember this is an advice site. There’s no need to be so harsh, if she’s trying to seek help. Offer something positive, not your personal emotions❤️

[loveslongnails]

@HollyK21 I understand what you're saying... however... when she said " In all this I lost my life", I really lost my patience. The whole thing sounds like "well, my husband wanted a kid so I gave him one, but I was never really on board with the whole idea. Now, the best years of my life are gone". That pretty much sucks.

Anyway, I WAS being "kind" when I said she wasn't "wrong" to feel what she feels. Thanks for your reminder, just the same.

[yofuknutz]

Are you from India

[tasleen]

Yesss

[yofuknutz]

Oh boy here we go is the core of their culture they wait too long to get married or have sex and this is an end result of

[Ke_vin]

Don’t feel like dat hun deep down u love herr

[Ailaw22]

Why exactly you feel she is a burden?

[prosmind]

She is your responsibility.

[tasleen]

I know nd I never make her feel that way

[prosmind]

Great.

[Anonymous]

wow you're a piece of shit

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Yikes. How old is she

[mapavrili34]

I think yes but why dont u love her

[In_Trance]

you are 100% wrong

[Sketti2021]

That's terrible