Why do I feel like it's my fault that she left me?

[Anonymous]

Well basically, when a girl leaves you, why do you feel like you didn't do enough for her?

Like you either over did the love showing or that you didn't go on enough dates or that you didn't treat her well. Despite her saying you show your love a lot to me, and that we don't need to go on fancy dates just keep it basic. But then the very next week leaves you because she was not happy in the relationship.

[da5id]

we unconciously choose the explanation that caters to our needs better

in your case control: if you think its your fault that gives you some sort of handle, that if only you didn't f*** up that one thing there everything would be perfect.

the alternative is a lot less appealing: if she left you "for a better man" for ex. it would mean utter defeat and a lot more loss of self-value thus we cross that out.

note that I'm not saying either of those is the one that happened in your situation, this is an explanation why we all lean towards one explanation rather than another one

[l-hedoniste]

What you're feeling is natural. You wanted it to work, it didn't, you want to know why.

It's a healthy instinct, really, as long as you don't get stuck there. If you're really curious, and really tough, look her up in a few months, and ask.

[redwingz]

Be careful that you're completely over her though when you ask, because otherwise you'll still be too emotionally close to the situation.

[rodriguez1111]

Haven't you heard about ignorance? Try to not call her or look for her for a while. Then you will see if she really cared about you. She will wonder what have you been doing etc. And if she doenst look for you, her lost, wasn't meant to be. Well I'm giving you advice from people that have giving me advice from my exboyfriend that dumped me.

*Time wil tell*

* Stay positive*

* live your life*

* let it go...*

And remember... this too shall pas..

[Asker]

But she wants to be friends.

[Anonymous]

girls are mental ninja's. only reason I'm not a lesbian.

[shes-a-lady]

Ahahah well said :)

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks. lol