Guys what would you do if your girl coworker confessed her love to you?

[Anonymous]

I've been working with my guy colleague for 3 years now. He has a girlfriend. After the first year of working, we realised that there is a high sexual tension between us. We had emotional relationship together, we exchanged messages all the time, etc. and our relation kept escalating until one day he messaged me and said that before things go further, let's stop it here because we have different life. I told him that he made me fall in love by flirting and all the things he did. Then he said that he has a girlfriend. I told him that I never wanted him to cheat on her. I asked him did anything happen that you are mentioning this things randomly? and he said no. He just said let's act professional.
Now, how do you think the situation will be? is it going to be awkward? what does he think about me? I am deciding to not go to work for some time.

[Nightless]

I've had this happen on a few different occasions before. The first time I saw it coming. We hang out, chilled. I helped her overcome a lot of her emotional trauma from her old ex, etc. It doesn't help that I have an incredibly bad habit of smiling when I'm uncomfortable or awkward. She took it as it meant something else.
Eventually, it got to the point where she came out and just straight told me she had a crush on me. I did my best to gently let her down by telling her I wasn't interested in a relationship outside of friendship. But I did greatly appreciate her friendship and generally hoped we could continue on as such.
skip to two and a half (ish) months later and she had gotten into a relationship with a female co-worker. Once that point hit, she never contacted me after that point. I think her feelings here too mixed up with me from having helped with the emotional trauma left over by her ex.

Having said all that, having heard your situation, I think it will be awkward as all hell for a while. He is likely mixed up emotionally and trying to sort it all out. That's something he needs to come to terms with on his own. Beyond that, I can't say too much. He may just want you to act like a normal non-acquainted co-worker again and keep things strictly professional, he may want only friendship, or he may want nothing to do with you at all. Ultimately, it's up to what he decides to do
I hope this helps

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing that things just kind of got away with him (ie he didn't intentionally lead you on), but maybe by the time he realized how serious you were getting, it had already gone too far maybe? Or now wants to make sure it doesn't get that far. Unfortunately for you, it sounds like you've got some feelings, which is going to make this hard, but, you have to go back to just the basic co-worker/friend relationship (if you can with the feelings you have?). Did you know he had a girlfriend the entire time, or just find this out? If you knew about her all along, then this is partly your doing also, not just his because you should never have entertained anything other than co-workers and maybe friends. But when I hear someone isn't available, that's it, it's done for me. I don't know why women don't think this way it seems? You seem to think you're different or he's gonna leave her or I don't know what you think, but it's not "he's unavailable" lol. But when you go back to work, it's the co-worker/friend and keep it that way. Act like it didn't happen and limit the personal conversations. Like he said, it's now a professional relationship. I think if you're both mature about it, a friendship can still be possible, but that's up to the two of you. But any romantic thoughts, don't entertain them anymore. If he was going to leave her for you, he would have already and he's said he's not going to, so you have to change how you see him now. I'm sorry you caught feelings though :( I don't mean to sound insensitive here, I'm just giving you the reality.

[Asker]

He was the one who started to get all touchy feely and sending snaps and everything for 2 years and I never told him that I like him, just flirted back. Then, the day he told me that things are going further and we should stop, I told him that it was you who made me fall in love. We are now acting so normal as if nothing has ever happened

[Heretoasklotsofqs]

Maybe, whatever was happening was more cause you spend so much time with people you work with and maybe they realised it’s turning into something that it shouldn’t have.

It maybe that they have feelings they shouldn’t have and hence the blunt break/stop in your usual behaviours at work.

Not going in work would only make things harder for you in the long run. When you were at work I assume it wasn’t obvious to other people? If so, just carry on acting the same minus the constant talking etc.

[KrakenAttackin]

I would update my resume as this has a very small possibility of a good outcome for me.
-If I reject her, well, women deal very poorly with rejection, so I know I now have a bullseye on my back at work.
-If I date her and later reject her, or she rejects me, I know I will have a bullseye on my back.
-So there is a 5% chance of this working out for me with the other 95% being pretty awful and making me fearful of losing my job and being branded a "harasser" for the rest of my professional life.

[DarkWinterNights]

Yeah either things initially weren’t great with his existing relationship and things suddenly got better, or he realized how dangerous dating at work can be.

[Spyre]

He knows he messed up by leading you on and obviously regrets it. He shouldn't have let things get that far, but you should still respect his commitment and avoid getting personal with him. It's going to be stressful being around him no matter what you do, that's why people warn against workplace romance all the time.

[Asker]

I am trying my best to keep it professional but still so awkward. It's hard to not remember all those hugs he gave me whenever he came to my office

[Guido]

I would have to be single to act on it. If not single then I would tell her I am flattered and if anything changes in my relationship status then I will let her know and at that time we can see where it goes. Until then we can remain good friends and nothing more.

[Honesttguy]

No relationship in workplace. High risk enviroment. So what if there's some emotional connection it happens automatically, its just nature. doesn't mean have to act on them.

[Jlegacy]

I know it is not typical but whenever you hear someone is in a relationship, let them go. Delete any imagination of sex or love. God is not that wicked to give what you love to another woman. If she has him, she isn't yours.

[MotorcycleMan]

It might be a little awkward, but it sounds like he is handling it OK. Just be professional.

[Asker]

it's very awkward and annoying to see a guy, who kept coming to your office and hug you and who sent you messages all the time for two years, to ask you act professional all of a sudden.

[MotorcycleMan]

Maybe he liked a little flirting, but then it got too real. Give it some time.

[Anonymous]

If I was single and already attracted to her I would admire and respect her more, I've always resented help and are expected to make the first move and court women

[Opinion Owner]

I mean I've always resented how men are always expected to be the initiators

[boggboss]

He will stop flirting and just treat u like another coworker did u really think he would leave his girlfriend to be with u?

[Twalli]

He realized that your relationship was turning into something that might make him cheat. He likes you as much or more than you like him. If he didn't feel anything for you he wouldn't say that.

[Asker]

We were so close together for 2 years. I can't believe he can easily forget all those times and tell me to act normal while he was the one leading me to this. I feel I was played

[Twalli]

He can't forget them. But he can try to kerp it as professional as he can.

[ThisDudeHere]

As the saying goes, don't shit where you eat. Best to go back to being just professional.

[Browneye57]

It's only awkward if YOU make it so.
He's the smarter one of you two. Oh well. NEXT!!

Oh, and there's even a quip for this... DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT.

[NewgodX]

Leave job
Leave town
Thanks I own 2 businesses and I don't work with females

[TheSpaceGnome]

he's taken, if he's hitting on you, ignore it, or rat him out to his girlfriend. If you are hitting on him, then stop.

[Zygum]

Why you stop your job, continue, it is better, he informed you about his girlfriend, otherwise you would be highly disappointed, when you know this fact and you blame him for cheating, you should control your emotions, and stick to your boyfriend

[libsaretards]

EXACTLY why I do not do ANY conduct at work that does not relate to work.

[Anonymous]

Oh, i would love it. I'd give it a try.
as for your situation. He most likely flirted for fun without the intention to cheat. He probably didn't know he is making you fall in love with him.

[Asker]

is naughty hugging a fun flirt? or sending messages all the time? Can these things be only for fun? and not make the other person fall in love? I did a mistake right! but he was the one leading me

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, the sexual advances are a bit too much here. Something doesn't seem right.

[Ironic_Method]

Tell her I'm flattered but nothing is going to happen as long as we are coworkers.

[Anonymous]

I would do what I did go on a date and then get in a relationship with her. This just happened to me about a week ago.

[Anonymous]

Legally, I would have to hook up with the coworker who confessed their love to me. It doesn’t have to mean anything, it can just be a moment between two lovers in the file room while nobody, hopefully, walks in on us.

[johnnygodeep]

I don’t know but if attractive I would definitely have sex with her…