Is it okay to ask your boyfriend to show you proof that he’s traveling to the place he told you he was traveling to?

[Anonymous]

Proof as in the plane ticket to see the location. This is something i’d do without him having to ask.

[RB3493]

The answer isn't as simple as "yes" or "no." If he has betrayed your trust in the past, it could be perfectly acceptable to ask for proof so that you can gain trust again over time: after asking for proof hundreds of times on many things over years, you will gain trust when, each time, he checks out. To those who think this is terrible, be careful how you judge. What if he cheated and she still wants to stay in the relationship? What if he flirted with online dating apps even though he never went on a date: he just likes playing? What if he lied and went on a vacation with male friends when he claimed to go on a business trip? What if... there are an infinite number of scenarios. The point is, it isn't always wrong to ask for proof.

I will say this. I love my wife with all that I am. If, for any reason whatsoever, she wants me to prove something I claim, I have no problem. I have no secrets. None. So, I tend to "vote" that it is OK to ask. Having said that, it will probably hurt his feelings some if you ask because it does mean you don't trust him. Be prepared to explain why you had doubts. That conversation is key to keeping him from feeling like you don't trust him for no reason. If he has betrayed your trust in the past, then that is probably the reason. If the reason is that you have been betrayed in the past by other men, but not your current boyfriend, then you should probably start the conversation with, "You haven't done anything to make me doubt you and I love you for that. Unfortunately, some men in my past have and, because of that, I tend to doubt even when there isn't any evidence for it. I hope you will be patient with me and, over time, I will doubt less and less. For that to happen, I need you to bear with me at times. For example, right now, you said you are going to X. I have no reason to doubt you are going there, but I do have a small amount of doubt. Can you put my mind at ease and let me see the ticket? Then I can stop my mind from wandering into scenarios for which I have no reason to have any suspicion." If he doesn't want to show you because he claims he is hurt because you don't trust him, then I think you have an insensitive man. You might think about leaving him. If any girlfriend of mine said that to me, I would gladly show proof of where I am going even if it annoyed me. I don't think it would annoy me but, if it did, I wouldn't show it. I would be impressed she could articulate this aspect of herself and can see a path to it ending someday.

[jshm2]

No. You're his girlfriend, not his wife or mother. Stay in your lane.

[kyleelyn199723]

I think that’s reasonable for safety reasons being. Maybe you want to check to make sure he is safe. I would definitely not mention the fact that you have trust issues

[PrettyPriya]

No, there is something that is called trust that must exist between two committed people.

[blended_ninja]

Unless he's cheated before, then no. If he has, then yes.

[Huldusonur]

Don't be in a relationship with someone you don't trust

[Anonymous]

I did that twice when I traveled 3000 miles for their birthday and last month when they had business interviews took a 3 1/2 hour bus ride out to support them. And yes I showed them pictures too

[King_Dive]

I mean, a stamped passport is proof enough surely

[Wise4myage]

No, that shows a lack of trust.

[Asker]

Shouldn’t trust be earned, meaning shouldn’t someone be transparent with you in order for you to trust them?

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker I think the issue is, is you have very bad trust issues and no matter how transparent someone will be with you, you will find more reasons of why to be skeptical. That’s really honestly how trust issues work.

[Asker]

@kyleelyn199723 i don’t have very bad trust issues, you don’t know me well enough to state something like, but thanks for your input honey.

[Wise4myage]

@kyleelyn199723 I agree Kyleelyn.

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker your question is enough for the assumption.

[kyleelyn199723]

“Honey”

[Asker]

@kyleelyn199723 never assume.

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker I didn’t assume. Your question shows what’s wrong here. Self awareness is a great tool in life.

[Twalli]

Why don't you trust him?

[cloud9vortex1234]

No, because that means you don't trust him.

[SamFromFL]

Nope

[Asker]

why no?

[SamFromFL]

Shows you don’t trust him

[SamFromFL]

And if he hasn’t earned your trust then why agree to be his girlfriend?

[Julious0202]

Its not ok