Is it normal to tell your boyfriend wherever you're going?

[Gloree]

Just wondering as he insists on it. Like if I don't go to work and he calls & I'm outside, he will start questioning to know exactly where I am.

And when I tell him, say supermarket which is where I was today, he will say why didn't I tell him I was going out.

Now he says he's tired of asking and henceforth he better not have to find out on his own that I'm outside.

Is this normal?

Updates

1 y

Did I mention that he has made it a rule for me to show him or tell him about any new thing I buy such as a handbag or new outfit.

He said he doesn't like being surprised by something he didn't buy for me (He usually buys things for me) Like I recently bought a bag I liked online.! he saw it & was like "this is new." & I said yes & he asked when I got it & from where & I told him. Then he said it's nice but that he is supposed to know whenever I get something new & I shouldn't do that again.

[JamesDiaz11]

I think there are some girls who like this kind of oversight/ control- not all do, and it can be unnerving to some. Some guys worry about their girlfriends, what may happen to them, or what they're doing.

My girlfriend is a very stubborn person, and tried to play up the strong, independent woman thing because she was socially awkward growing up, and because of her very-religious upbringing she'd never considered submitting to a guy before. But with me she's become very submissive (constantly checking to see if I'm happy/ upset with her, asking if what she wears to the gym is okay/ if I'd let her wear xyz out jokingly, and ofc letting me have her physically when nobody else had before).

She tells me where she is all the time, has shared her location w/ me, and honestly I think she enjoys being dominated/ controlled by someone she knows can/ will always protect and provide for her.

[Gloree]

well I used to be like your girlfriend but I don't know how gradually I've come to this level cause there are somethings he outrightly stopped me from wearing like an anklet. he said it makes girls look like sluts. I used to still wear it but when he unexpectedly shows up I would quickly look for a way to get it off and hide it. but now I no longer wear it.

Also he's the first guy I've let touch me. he is willing to wait till we get married this year but he has been doing other things to me with his fingers and mouth recently.
because honestly he treats me well and takes care of me. it's just these rules is the only set back.

are u suggesting it's because he's worried about me that's why he has this controlling side?

[JamesDiaz11]

In order for a girl to become comfortable with this (what I consider natural) dynamic she has to trust him, and his judgement. He has to be a "benevolent king" both in her eyes, and in practice. If he's not setting boundaries/ expectations that are for your best interest he's betraying your trust- this is where dominance turns into tyranny.
Somewhere along the way he's become a tyrant, has sought to enforce rules that don't seem to make sense, which is why it's natural that you doubt his judgement (and probably whether he's fit to be your man). Has something happened?
It may help for you to ask him to explain his rationale, and it's up to him to explain himself. If he is a reliable leader he'll know exactly why he's doing what he's doing (and it's gotta be better than how other girls are slutty).

[TheSpaceGnome]

It's normal to tell your SO where you are going/where you are for safety reasons. It's not normal to be paranoid about it on a "I don't trust you" level.

[Guy13]

To me, your boyfriend seems insecure, immature, and very controlling. He seems to think that he is there to rule over you rather than be a partner with you. This is not a good sign nor is it normal. We do not have to account for every step, every second, and/or why we "forgot or didn't tell him something"...

To me, this is already unhealthy and if your hair is standing up on your neck, stomach is upset, or something isn't right then it probably is not right. I would not be dating a "her version of him."

[Aerissa_Jade]

It is normal for me to state where I am going, but he doesn't sound like that, he sounds like he is being possessive, demanding to know where you are and where you are going.

Even being angry that you went outside for some reason.

Possession is the opposite of love.

[spartan55]

Are you serious? You have a domestic abuser trainee for a boyfriend. Red 🚩 flags everywhere.

[spartan55]

Wow. It's only a matter of time before he starts beating your ass.

[Gloree]

he promised never to lay hands on me. he doesn't do that.

[WellGreetingsISay]

That's not normal, because of the last part. It's okay to ask where your partner is going because you want them to be safe, but if he says he better not find out you're outside without telling him that's bad.

[Stressyalaire]

I do that when I go somewhere where I don't usually go. Something that is outside my routine. So if I go missing or something or there is trouble, he knows where I am at.

[Anonymous]

dude you need to leave him fast before he kills you or physically assaults you bad. that shit ain't normal that guy has control issues and anger issues you better get away from him fast because just from what you're saying the guy sounds like he could phsycally assault you or worse

[Mansearching]

I wouldn't do that. My girlfriend goes wherever she pleases. Up to her if she tells me. If I ask i expect the truth though. And if she asks me ill tell her the truth. Trust got to start somewhere.

[BJP21]

Its a sign of insecurity, you should be able to go to the grocery store without having to ask. Its completely another to say, Im having a ladies night out.

[Keishio]

No, it's not normal to need to be that dialed in. It's normal to check in if things are out the norm or if it's getting late/dark but he sounds a bit more involved than that

[Slay256]

This is complicated cause I don’t know him but I feel you should tell him where you’re going always. Like if i had a wife i would tell her my whereabouts.

[Elliegirl]

That’s not normal in any relationship I’ve been in. It sounds like there are some trust and control issues he needs to work through!

[Subarugirl]

No that is not normal, that is controlling behavior and boarding on abusive.

[Makeushiver]

Since he insists on it I would suggest adding him to the discard pile

[Jennz6]

I suppose it is normal but I don’t like it either

[driven159]

No very controlling red flags waving time to say bye bye

[msc545]

This is not at all normal. He doesn't trust you.

[Anonymous]

It's not normal. It'll only get worse the longer the relationship goes.

[rachel776]

that boyfriend's minutes would be numbered

[Flight0]

Never bad to share. But if he’s demanding you do shake him

[boobliker]

mostly yes mine always does