How do I tell my boyfriend about my unplanned pregnancy?

Question

My boyfriend and I haven't been using condoms and have been very careless about birth control. Consequently I just found out a few days ago that I'm pregnant. When I first found out I was in shock and panicked. However, after I thought more and more about it I actually decided I'm pretty happy with the situation. I've always wanted more kids (I have one right now) and my boyfriend is a great guy to have them with. We're in a very solid place right now (we're not engaged officially, but we basically are). We also both have good paying jobs, so finances shouldn't be a problem.
However, the one thing I am really worried about is telling him that I'm pregnant. I am completely unsure of how he'll react. He's in a pretty good place in terms of having a kid too, but I'm not sure he feels he's 'mentally/emotionally' prepared for it. I'm really worried he's going to panic or react not well. What's the best way I can go about telling him about the pregnancy?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I would say the direct approach, you have to trust he'll respond well. If your worried about this now, there is bigger issues.

He HAS to know this could of happened since he is part of it. Not using a condom is on him just as much as you, heck even with one... not a 100%. He has been part of the carelessness.

He may be surprised, we all are when we find out... don't take the initial reaction as a bad thing if it doesn't go well. Many times we need to think on it, ponder it. When I was surprised with it, my reaction made her think I wasn't happy but it was just a shock... after thinking about it, I got real excited myself.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's your fears (understandably) but just tell him, like you have here with us. Sit him down, let him know you found out and your thoughts on it and how you feel, then find out how he feels. It shouldn't be a huge "shock" under the circumstances. And if he's immature enough to overreact about it, HE is as much to blame for it happening as you are. But as you've described things, I'm making assumptions about how your boyfriend is as a person and your relationship, and I don't think you have to worry... just tell him.

Prettygurl12 · Accepted Answer

I once went before a judge to get a warrant on someone who threatened to shoot another person and the judge told me that "intending to shoot someone doesn't mean you intend to kill them." I said that it doesn't mean you don't, either. If you point a gun at someone and pull the trigger you're saying you're okay with any possible outcome.

Same goes for unprotected sex.

Obviously you have to tell him and just let him react how he will. You say you weren't trying to get pregnant but you weren't not trying, either. I don't think it's much of a shock.

Daniela1982 · Accepted Answer

Tell him what a dumb fuck you both are, but mostly stop your trolling because no one is that stupid.

LegendaryIcon · Answer

Well, here's the thing. You can go ahead and tell him but, what he's LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DO, is leave you. He, by right, doesn't have to stay with you, whether it's emotionally, or physically (especially if he's living with you, unmarried). Why you guys were pretty carelss and stupid, is beyond me but, yeah, you can't force him, legally, to stay with you

However, the other thing is, is, if he does leave, you're LEGALLY ALLOWED TO SUE HIM FOR CHILD SUPPORT. and you'll likely win because well, you're the girl. So while he may be living his life, he'll also be sending you money every month, to take care of the kid

That's the basic idea here. Just remember that

Moose304 · Answer

I'm sorry, but I have to cut to the chase. The guy entered you raw. Anytime a guy enters a girl raw this is always possible. YOU allowed him to enter you raw! This is just as much his fault as yours. This baby is just as much his responsibility as it is yours. Remember this child did not ask to be born. It was conceived and born out of an act where BOTH partners acted irresponsibly! Time for BOTH of you to grow up and be parents!

jshm2 · Answer

Yeah well, play stupid games, win stupid prizes, as they say. You may see the guy ghost you as a result of this, or he may take it on the chin. Either way get tested again or a paternity just to be sure and then broach the subject as your shared responsability.

Then you need to face your employer and see if you still have a job if you take time out.

AviatorTom · Answer

You know you have to tell him. Since you're not sure of his reaction, do it gently, and let him know by your words and body language (smile, for example) that you're glad you're pregnant. Whatever his reaction is, accept it.

Considering your age, assuming he is of a similar age, he might be surprised.

t-8900 · Answer

well you simply come out with it. Tell him you need to talk to him and have a sit down on the sofa and hold his hand and just look at him. And also if he's a great guy he's going to get through any initial shock and champion his role as a father and love both you and that child whole heartedly.

exitseven · Answer

I wanted to make a joke and say just get him a Fathers Day card but I know this is a serious thing. I don't think there is any best way to do this. I would just be honest but upbeat and optimistic about the future. He was lackadaisical about birth control as well so maybe he has alway thought having a child with you would be something he would liketo do someday.

Hangry06 · Answer

If he's not that dumb, i am sure he won't find it shocking. You welcome pregnancies with unprotected sex

Alyssa11 · Answer

You just need to tell him and if you really are in a good place and he loves you he should be happy about it.

Fireguy17 · Answer

just tell him, kind of like pulling off a band aid.
It is probably better just to let him know.
It won't be easy due to not knowing what his reaction will be, but hopefully he will be happy about it as well.

spartan55 · Answer

Yeah, you must be REALLY close if you are afraid to tell him this...😂 😂

bodiesands · Answer

I think you probably wanted it. As I'm sure you know, it's now or never at your age. You're lucky to have it happen at all. So the plan has worked haha.

kenz000 · Answer

It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise to him considering. But make sure you tell him now rather than later.

Anonymous · Answer

He should not be shocked since both of you did not care about birth control

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

In whatever way you think is best. It’s about the baby now. Figuring out what’s best for the baby is what you two need to talk about. It’s time to step up to the plate for both of you and be great role models. Best of luck to you.

supercutebutt · Answer

Don't tell him, show him. Give birth on his chest :)

noohair · Answer

This was not unplanned. What did you both think would happen? Very careless.

cookiecrusher · Answer

Send him a funny pic. And do get married asap.

Anonymous · Answer

"What's the best way I can go about telling him about the pregnancy?" "Honey, I'm pregnant" Is that so hard? 🙄

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Try this one:- Hi hunny, you know how you don't like to wear condoms? well guess what?

ikEVERYTHING · Answer

Tell him and make him take responsibility. Should have observed abstinence until marriage to avoid these issues but it's too late now so make sure he takes care of that kid.

dragoblack · Answer

Just talk to him. Its not something to put off. Putting it off is a betrayal of trust. Pregnancy is a super serious situation that must be talked about immediately.

Anonymous · Answer

A card that says "No condom? No pill? Lots of sex? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. We have won A BABY!!"

AnggieGirl · Answer

Show him your post you just posted here and let him read it.

OddBeMe · Answer

There’s an axiom by Obgyns that women become parents after getting pregnant, men after labor. So most likely he will come around during pregnancy. I doubt you’ll have to wait til labor.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Just go up to him and ask him what his favourite names are for babies.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Just tell him how he would feel about a new bundle coming into his life?

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Tell him immediately, just have an open mature conversation about it all.

ChiPaPa · Answer

Hey babe, I'm pregnant! If he's a good guy, he'll be ecstatic. Good luck on the baby.

Guanfei · Answer

Well, you tell him. Immediately. What's the alternative? Hiding it until he can't choose if he wants it or not?

Cubus · Answer

Gently but honestly. It will be a surprise for him, but he'll understand.

G5TWA1 · Answer

tell him now, it doesn't matter if he's ready or not this is gonna happen anyway

007kingifrit · Answer

just tell him you have big news and then say it. he will be flabbergasted but that's ok

Anonymous · Answer

Advice 1: Tell him it's not his child and abort.  And close this matter here. Start over! Advice 2: Ask him to marry you or pay you child support.

MotorcycleMan · Answer

Straight out, straight up and straight away.

Anonymous · Answer

You just have to tell him, But try telling him when he is in a good mood.

LemiaOfChampions · Answer

Just explain what happen.

anon1903 · Answer

Why would you not use condoms

Subarugirl · Answer

Tell him, the sooner the better.

JinxyKat · Answer

Did you two discuss having children before hand?

Z199617 · Answer

I say your gonna have tell him straight up.

Anonymous · Answer

"Guess who's going to be a father?"

Anonymous · Answer

The sooner the better.

In_Trance · Answer

Is it is child?

Anonymous · Answer

'Unplanned' my ass

How do I tell my boyfriend about my unplanned pregnancy?

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