Would you ever consider going out with a childhood bully if they reformed from bullying others?

Question

Let say you know this boy or girl she/he were awful and they made everyone especially you life a living hell growing up. You was the bully number one target as a child, you thought you had finally gotten away from that asshole once you became an adult. But here is the biggest factor you have found the man or woman who made your childhood extremely unbearable, you at first decided to walk the other way so you don't let your former bully spot you. The thing is your bully already know you were there, they wanted to talk with you but instead you are to busy running away from them.

Finally feeling exhausted and having your former bully catch you they have explained how awful they were with you and wanted to start a brand new relationship with you as an a romantic relationship, how would you react with this sudden discovery? Do you think you can possibly go out with the woman or man who gave you nothing but misery as a child?

Would you ever consider going out with a childhood bully if they reformed from bullying others?

Answer 1

DizzyDesii | 2.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

I recall 3 girls who bullied me like crazy. K, D, and Raj. K and i liked the same guy so there was no coming back from that. Plus she was 6’0 at age 12 while i was maybe 5’0. I still can't stand that hoe and hope i never run into her again. D was just as awful throughout all of HS. We also liked the same guy. She already hated me because i wouldn't let her cheat off my paper. Liking the same guy made her worse. She threatened to cut me several times and felt i stole her best friend girl away. So she made a whole grade of girls think awful of me and they all tried to jump me. D randomly walked up behind me and tried to tityfck me with a pencil. She was weird af and later realized that we not only liked the same guy but that she was closeted and possibly liked me. I distanced myself from that hoe immediately. We ended up at the same college. She was fully lesbian while there and tried to be nice to me. I still despise that trick. I made a post about Raj and her evil ways in HS but she respected me for standing up to her one day. She also tried to become my friend in college. Once again i still dont care for any of these 3 hoes above

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2 People

FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
Damn I bet it must been a real pain in the ass having to face those three girls as an adult. Me personally I would have been annoyed if I see my childhood bullies as an adult.
DizzyDesii

2 mo
It wasn't a pain because we didn't have any classes together. But i still passed them across campus a lot and they always tried to make smalltalk and i’d makeup excuses to dodge them. Everytime i see D, i’ll forever have bad memories. She put me through a lot in HS
FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
I am really sorry for those terrible experience you must have dealt with as a teenager.

Answer 2

FinalFantasyBro

Damn I bet it must been a real pain in the ass having to face those three girls as an adult. Me personally I would have been annoyed if I see my childhood bullies as an adult.

Answer 3

DizzyDesii

It wasn't a pain because we didn't have any classes together. But i still passed them across campus a lot and they always tried to make smalltalk and i’d makeup excuses to dodge them. Everytime i see D, i’ll forever have bad memories. She put me through a lot in HS

Answer 4

FinalFantasyBro

I am really sorry for those terrible experience you must have dealt with as a teenager.

Answer 5

Pink2000 | 1.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Honestly no. I feel like some of their old ways would come back. I don’t mind pranks and stuff or play fighting. But if they’re doing stuff to deliberately hurt my feelings , I have an issue with that.

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1 Person

Answer 6

NathanDavis | 868 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

it would depend on so many circumstances...

but I've seen childhood friends and classmates that were just awful kids even teens... but today I see them being great parents

and in contrast to that, I do know of some of them that were well, good and harmless but now I know for a fact they're involved/linked to cartels and have done despicable things

so, there is too many ways in which life can happen and time will happen to all of us... so, it depends on the actual details

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1 Person

FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
That is a reasonable outlook on a situation like that, you might not know they may actually feel really guilty and awful the way they behave, or they are probably lying and still bully others. I guess it be one of those taking a risk situation.
NathanDavis

2 mo
that is very true, what you just said... many bullies might feel really bad even if they don't show it

also, many kids do things that they don't see or feel is too bad, but... they can be very damaging to certain other kids

for example, I was a very painfully shy kid, and I was not bullied however... the attention, the praise and the compliments I got from people as "smart kid", that was my personal hell and it made my early years quite difficult, I would dread every day of school just because of that but they didn't know any of that

Answer 7

FinalFantasyBro

That is a reasonable outlook on a situation like that, you might not know they may actually feel really guilty and awful the way they behave, or they are probably lying and still bully others. I guess it be one of those taking a risk situation.

Answer 8

NathanDavis

that is very true, what you just said... many bullies might feel really bad even if they don't show it

also, many kids do things that they don't see or feel is too bad, but... they can be very damaging to certain other kids

for example, I was a very painfully shy kid, and I was not bullied however... the attention, the praise and the compliments I got from people as "smart kid", that was my personal hell and it made my early years quite difficult, I would dread every day of school just because of that but they didn't know any of that

Answer 9

DonkeyDan | 190 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

I'd be tempted to fuck with their head as pay back but I wouldn't as I don't stoop that low. The last thing I'd be doing was starting a relationship with them, they'd be lucky to walk away without something broken. Luckily I wasn't bullied by other kids when I was younger, probably because I was bigger than most of them 😅

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1 Person

FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
Nice, good thing your physical appearance was there to protect you from assholes.

Answer 10

FinalFantasyBro

Nice, good thing your physical appearance was there to protect you from assholes.

Answer 11

AmandaYVR | 1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Influencer

If they made "other's lives a living hell" I wouldn't really believe that they could be reformed to such a degree.
Is the person receiving this treatment from them accurately assessing them? There can always be misinterpretations.
There was a little boy in elementary school who, as a child myself, I said was bullying me. But long story short, I found out he really liked me. Young and immature boys and men don't always know how to express their feelings constructively.
But I wouldn't go out with them. I might forgive, might be friendly-ish, but I wouldn't date someone like that. My standards of morality are way higher than that. They'd better treat not just be but other people fairly.

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Answer 12

Little_Bumblebee | 306 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

My first thought is "heck no."
Especially not if it happened like you told, that they made my life miserable and they later just came up to me to say they wanted a romantic relationship.

Let's all just pretend the bully had worked through their issues, growing from it to become a better human being, and we started talking again in slow way etc. And not just a dump of a confession.
The matter is, a lot of bullied victims may still have issues or struggles when they're adults because of the severity or something else.
And if I was still affected by what happened, I would never be able to date my childhood bully. Because of still having a hard time because of what was done and I wouldn't be able to forgive them for that.
And feeling like that, I wouldn't be able to date someone because of that.

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2 People

Answer 13

Gwenhwyfar | 1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

I never had a bully but honestly probably not. This happened to my friend the guy tormented her as a kid but secretly liked her. She was NOT interested. The guy ended up stuck in the garage talking to her father about cars every time he came over to talk to her because she would barely give him the time of day let alone go out with him.

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3 People

FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
Honestly he sounds like a loser, no wonder your friend wasn't interested in speaking to him.
Gwenhwyfar

2 mo
Totally

Answer 14

FinalFantasyBro

Honestly he sounds like a loser, no wonder your friend wasn't interested in speaking to him.

Answer 15

Gwenhwyfar

Totally

Answer 16

Sinergia

Xper 1

Not that extreme kind of bully, but i used to have a friend in like 6th grade that was very toxic, so when I finally figured out I ended that relationship, and immediately after that she dedicated to talk a lot of shit and put all our friends against me. So I ended up alone and she basically made my life miserable for 2 years, and I had to change myself from school because of the bullying.

A few years later, she told a friend she is ashamed for what she did to me, so I think she is actually sorry. I am an artist, and she always supports and share my art, react to my posts and stuff like that. She apparently apologized and got to be a better person, so we are not close friends but I treat her normally and forgave her long ago.

Not going out, but I maintain a friendly relationship with my childhood bully without rancor. I think someone might do the same by dating them, I don't know.

Pd: Sorry for bad English, I just wanted to share my experience in this situation

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1 Person

Answer 17

t-8900 | 470 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

well there was this one stuck up girl in 6th grade who thought she was so great and treated me rudely. When sophomore year of high school rolled around and we ended up in the same gym class she began fawning over me.

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1 Person

FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
Did you went out with the mean girl or you couldn't do it because you didn't appreciate what she does to you?
t-8900

2 mo
@FinalFantasyBro she was changed and we kinda started crushing tbh. Then she got with another guy because I take time to warm up first to someone and well, we live in a fast paced society these days. Like back in the day people took some time get to the point of dating. Now everyone just hops around like little jackrabbits. Anyways she ended up getting pregnant and the guy was a dead beat that left her to raise the kid alone. People say "nice guys finish last". I would say bad girls do, because they have the most to lose and they idiotically dive in head first right into all their damn problems. smh
FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
t-8900 you are definitely one of the smartest people here, I always enjoy talking with smart minded people.
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t-8900

2 mo
ha thanks! But I just got in to it with a girl on here because apparently I'm not smart enough because I chose not to go to Uni. She said it was too much for me. Well she's right. It's too damn much boredom and I can't sit at a desk all day doing nothing. I gotta get up go places and do things. Even if its just a load of cloths and vacuuming or cooking a meal. But i can't sit there are read boring text out of an outdated book all damn day. If I read it's gotta be something I love and it's gotta be written well.
FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
Yes school is literally the least creative place human had thought of, I have find way more creative and facts simply just being online.
t-8900

2 mo
its not like we're learning from the feet of the ancient greek philosophers anymore. Its not really ummm all it's cracked up to be. Yes you can learn a lot... if you have patience for the tedium and boredom of it all. But i prefer to visualize and touch when learning. Or at least be greatly entertained. Men excel at learning differently from women and thats a fact. Most of us find more stimulation from visual learning. Women can in general deal more with the mundane readings and filling of papers. probably why men dominate trades so much and women are more into office work.

Answer 18

FinalFantasyBro

Did you went out with the mean girl or you couldn't do it because you didn't appreciate what she does to you?

Answer 19

t-8900

@FinalFantasyBro she was changed and we kinda started crushing tbh. Then she got with another guy because I take time to warm up first to someone and well, we live in a fast paced society these days. Like back in the day people took some time get to the point of dating. Now everyone just hops around like little jackrabbits. Anyways she ended up getting pregnant and the guy was a dead beat that left her to raise the kid alone. People say "nice guys finish last". I would say bad girls do, because they have the most to lose and they idiotically dive in head first right into all their damn problems. smh

Answer 20

FinalFantasyBro

t-8900 you are definitely one of the smartest people here, I always enjoy talking with smart minded people.

Answer 21

t-8900

ha thanks! But I just got in to it with a girl on here because apparently I'm not smart enough because I chose not to go to Uni. She said it was too much for me. Well she's right. It's too damn much boredom and I can't sit at a desk all day doing nothing. I gotta get up go places and do things. Even if its just a load of cloths and vacuuming or cooking a meal. But i can't sit there are read boring text out of an outdated book all damn day. If I read it's gotta be something I love and it's gotta be written well.

Answer 22

FinalFantasyBro

Yes school is literally the least creative place human had thought of, I have find way more creative and facts simply just being online.

Answer 23

t-8900

its not like we're learning from the feet of the ancient greek philosophers anymore. Its not really ummm all it's cracked up to be. Yes you can learn a lot... if you have patience for the tedium and boredom of it all. But i prefer to visualize and touch when learning. Or at least be greatly entertained. Men excel at learning differently from women and thats a fact. Most of us find more stimulation from visual learning. Women can in general deal more with the mundane readings and filling of papers. probably why men dominate trades so much and women are more into office work.

Answer 24

PrettyPriya | 301 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

No. If they treated me that poorly, I would have trust issues, no matter how much they said they were "reformed". That is just my honest answer.

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3 People

FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
That's sounds really reasonable you can't always be too sure.
PrettyPriya

2 mo
@FinalFantasyBro

That would be my worry. I'd always have that nagging doubt that they would revert back.
FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
Oh man just imagine if they ended up only manipulating and tricking you about"reforming"? I definitely would be irritated if she just straight up bully me yet again.
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PrettyPriya

2 mo
@FinalFantasyBro

Excellent point. The whole tricking you into a relationship, be it even friendship, just to bully you again would be a real possibility. Yikes. 😬
FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
You might just be better off still annoying the instead of going through that headache again.

Answer 25

FinalFantasyBro

That's sounds really reasonable you can't always be too sure.

Answer 26

PrettyPriya

@FinalFantasyBro

That would be my worry. I'd always have that nagging doubt that they would revert back.

Answer 27

FinalFantasyBro

Oh man just imagine if they ended up only manipulating and tricking you about"reforming"? I definitely would be irritated if she just straight up bully me yet again.

Answer 28

PrettyPriya

@FinalFantasyBro

Excellent point. The whole tricking you into a relationship, be it even friendship, just to bully you again would be a real possibility. Yikes. 😬

Answer 29

FinalFantasyBro

You might just be better off still annoying the instead of going through that headache again.

Answer 30

RobT312 | 119 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

Never had any really bad bully experiences but anyone that has harmed me at any point in life is a NO. They can go F themselves

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1 Person

FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
Same, and definitely consider yourself one of the lucky people, trust me bullies fucking suck they were one of the few reasons why my teenage years was in the trashcan.
RobT312

2 mo
Sorry to hear it bro, hopefully adult life is making up for it!
FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
It definitely is, a bit boring but adult life is definitely look more promising and thanks bro
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RobT312

2 mo
U are probably the guy that goes back to a reunion as the successful one
FinalFantasyBro

2 mo
True, I will definitely love to show off but I ain't that awful so I logically let everyone be.

Answer 31

FinalFantasyBro

Same, and definitely consider yourself one of the lucky people, trust me bullies fucking suck they were one of the few reasons why my teenage years was in the trashcan.

Answer 32

RobT312

Sorry to hear it bro, hopefully adult life is making up for it!

Answer 33

FinalFantasyBro

It definitely is, a bit boring but adult life is definitely look more promising and thanks bro

Answer 34

RobT312

U are probably the guy that goes back to a reunion as the successful one

Answer 35

FinalFantasyBro

True, I will definitely love to show off but I ain't that awful so I logically let everyone be.

Answer 36

faithtofallbackon

Xper 2

No, even if they regretted it. Something's I could forgive and forget, but making my school life "a living hell" absolutely not, especially when my life at home already was. Also for what the bully that tortured me for was something I couldn't even change at the time. He could still apologize and I'd at least talking with him about it over coffee, but that be it though.

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1 Person

Answer 37

TacosRAwesome | 2.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Ok so with regards to my bullies, they were females who wouldn't be my type even if I was into women. In general, I can forgive someone for being a bit of an ass below the age of 10 but after that you're making a choice to be a dick.

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Answer 38

TommyMountainFigure | 328 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

More than 4 billion women on this planet why the hell would I date someone who I know first hand to be horrible?
A leopard doesn't change it's spots anyway!
To answer you directly.. HELL no.

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2 People

Answer 39

jshm2 | 475 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Don't date crazy, don't date perps, don't date people you've had issues with.

It's quite simple how you can cut 90% of drama from your relationship's when you know how.

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1 Person

Answer 40

exitseven | 1.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

It is hard to think of a girl bullying me but there were probably a couple that made fun of the fat kid. I suspect I would tell them to get bent.

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1 Person

Answer 41

TheBigGuy9 | 177 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

Sure, I’d do it, but obviously I wouldn’t see it the same way because I’m not into guys.

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Answer 42

sufys12

Xper 2

no... i'd rather not.

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Answer 43

ChiPaPa | 929 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Yeah. They were just kids.

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Answer 44

msc545 | 2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

No - no way

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1 Person

Would you ever consider going out with a childhood bully if they reformed from bullying others?

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