Is this considered narcissistic behaviour? My boyfriend only does nice things for me when he feels guilty?

[QuinnJane]

I’ve realized lately that my boyfriend of almost 3 years only ever does nice things for me when he knows I’m upset with him and/or knows he messed up. Other than that I feel like he never goes out of his way to do anything nice for me unless he’s sucking up to me or feels bad about something he did to hurt me or upset me. Like if he lied to me about something or I call him out on his shitty behaviour, a couple days later he will bring me flowers then think everything is all better and I unfortunately accept it cause I’m happy he’s doing something nice for me but I feel like it’s for the wrong reasons. Am I wrong for feeling this way or do you think it’s an issue too that he only does things for me when he feels guilty? Is this considered narcissistic?

[spartan55]

It has nothing to do with being a narcissist. I don't think you understand what a narcissist is, but nevertheless your boyfriend's behavior is troubling. I would say he is taking you for granted and being selfish. But then again you have taught him that it is okay to treat you this way.

[Anonymous]

it’s manipulative and a sign of narcissism. My ex did this too.
they go back and forth between love bombing and abusive. love bombing is where they bombard you with love, gifts, kind words, just to get you in love with them or love them more (again). that soon ends and they hurt you. once they see the damage they’ve done and you feeling vulnerable, they will suck up to you so you can fall back in their trap and the cycle happens again.

[all_hayl]

Sounds like it. Also, if he has lied about things then he’s not trustworthy. This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but get out.

[all_hayl]

“Get out” is not what I meant to say, but I don’t reminder what I was trying to say at the end.

[slatyb]

Get the hell out. This is narcissistic. For him it’s all a transaction. Anything he does for you is to get something he wants in return. This is not a pleasant way to live.

[jimmy2]

If he that way he will be where you are nothing and he is everything

[Anonymous]

It's considered a bare minimum guy

[Seangreen]

No that's just called brownie points