How to deal with self esteem issues caused from a bad relationship?

[Anonymous]

So my first love and first relationship scarred me for years. He purposely convinced me that he loved me (and I have strong reason to believe he went out of his way to make me feel like he was in love with me) and after a year long serious relationship he ghosted me for another girl. It scarred me but what it did worst than anything was mess with my self esteem. I don’t even feel unattractive. I feel very attractive. Yesterday this handsome man asked me on a date. I did what I always did-rejected him without even thinking twice. I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship but the truth is I was just scared. I always get extremely afraid that after getting to know me guys won’t think I’m good enough. I always reject people because I would rather not even try than try and fail. And I felt like I gave my best effort in the first relationship so it’s just honestly traumatizing how he discarded me like trash after purposely convincing me that he was in love with me. Despite the fact that I don’t beat myself up about my looks, weight, job, etc... and am quite satisfied with myself I still feel like deep down I have this fear that there is something inherently wrong with me and it started with that relationship

[Petermorgan34]

Take this advice from someone who's been there before, If he did love you he did and made a bad choice and mistake, you will never be happy unless you can let go of the past. I struggle myself with letting go of my first ex too sometimes, but i tell myself it was a right person just wrong time, and that if it did not work it never would have, just focus on yourself in the here and now, that is all we can do. Most importantly don't blame yourself for what went wrong, look at how much you have grown, and now you deserve to be happy, sometimes you may get it wrong, but that won't matter when we are old and grey with who we were meant to end up with. Don't let your past stop you from trying it stopped me a d I will regret that for the rest of my life, please do not make the same mistake that I did.

[Staximus]

If some piece of shit guy who didn't value you disappears, you should be happy about it. That's a win. Why would you even question your own value? Just because some shit bag didn't value you? It's his loss, not yours. So you lost a bag of shit. There's better guys out there.

[Staximus]

It's time to move on. Time to get on with your life and leave the douche bag ex in the past. Stop thinking about him.

[emperor90]

I try and to do things that i like