Am I in the wrong for talking to other girls while seeing someone?

[JoseJr]

To be exact im talking to roughly 8 different girls. One that I've been talking to for a while told me she's looking for something serious. I told her that I'm not ready for something like that and that I was still gonna talk to other girls. But she's been sticking around, I've taken her on dates etc, ig in the hopes that I'll change my mind. But I still talk to other girls. Sometimes I feel bad then I remember I did tell her straight up that what I was gonna do so.. am I in the wrong?

[sensible27]

Depends on what talking means, do you intend on being romantic? Are you possibly leading them on? Given, that you've already told her what you're doing so it's possibly not as bad but it also depends on if others no, and the one you've told still expects that eventually you'll want to be exclusive but if you don't think so, you should probably tell her that too

[JoseJr]

By talkin yeah I mean flirtin, trying to "get in their pants" for a lack of a better way to explain it, the girl in question, no I never lead her on, before takin her on a date I told her how Im not trying to settle down and how I was gonna continue talkin to other girls, so no I haven't lead her on but yeah I've takin her on dates, done the deed but never actually officially said we were exclusive. Other girls I talk to have yet to ask if Im in a relationship, so also feel like Im not lying since they have never asked.

[sensible27]

You do realise it implies when you flirt with someone that you're exclusively interested in them right? Especially if it's not off hand flirting, and you do it consistently.

They don't ask because it's not the norm. They assume you don't, (it might not be lying but it's misleading)
It'd help if you told that specific girl too that even as the time passes you don't think you would date her if you think that's the case.

[JoseJr]

Ima be honest, no from my experience and watching first hand, flirting doesn't exactly mean you want to be exclusive, at least not in my opinion I could be wrong. I've seen both guys and girls flirt in order to get the deed then leave with no intention on being exclusive

[sensible27]

If it doesn't matter, you can just tell them and if they leave it's up to them and if they don't, you didn't really lose much. This could be selection bias, you're only counting and remember the evidence that agrees with your hypothesis, I'm not saying what you say doesn't happen I'm saying it doesn't necessarily happen.

[Frank_theTank999]

No I think as long as you were up front about it, it’s ok - but don’t lead her on too much.
Probably need to revisit where the two of you stand every so often so she doesn’t have the perception that you’re exclusive.

[Calli84]

If you like the girl you went out with, it's a little strange to me that you talk to other girls. Or is the other girls your safety net if this girl you dated don't work out? Or do you seek attention from others for some reason? Keep to one girl and give her your all attention and love.

[JoseJr]

Ima keep it real. In short, first girlfriend did me wrong, I haven't been interested in being in another relationship since then. I still continue to talk to other girl for the fun of it, idc about attention, like most guys im just trying to hit then quit truth be told.

[Calli84]

Seems you're not over the girl who hurt you. Try to find your self again and then make an effort to meet a new girl who is right for you.

[JoseJr]

Got me there, no Im not over it. One of my favorite artists said " first girlfriend did me wrong, I swore that every girl after that, I was gonna do em wrong. Im not convinced any girl will make break this habit now

[sensible27]

https://youtu.be/JEcUQmvpIS8

[Calli84]

Try to heeel. Be mad. Be sad. But don't give a new girl hope and "destroy her" cuz she is not the one who hurt you. So why should you hurt her? Be sure of your feelings and what you want in a girl in the future.

[JoseJr]

@sensible27 I heard it before, I had to laugh, it kept me from cryin when that shit broke me

[JoseJr]

Been 6 years, nothing has healed yet, I feel its like an eye for an eye kinda thing

[Calli84]

Have you tried to talked to the girl who hurt you? And asked why etc? Maybe that's a way you can heel? To get a end to that relationship? And move on

[sensible27]

What the hell does, an eye for an eye mean. Do you think your girlfriend cares what you're doing now?

[JoseJr]

@sensible27 for me personally mean hurt someone the way you were hurt.

[JoseJr]

@Calli84 but no I haven't. She moved on, last thing I want to look like is weak or begging in front of her or her new mans for lack of a better way to explain it

[sensible27]

(hope you know what the full quote is,) anyways if you know what you're doing and your intention is what you describe the question is sort of pointless

[Calli84]

Do you have her on social media? Write to her and tell her how you feel. The written word is a good way to make people understand. Rather than be mad or angry or upset in front of them.

[JoseJr]

@sensible27 yeah I know the full quote kinda what I mean. "Whole worlds goes blind" Sometimes I want other to feel the pain too. But thats only certain girl. Its not my intention for every girl or the girl in question

[JoseJr]

@Calli84 , I do but once again I doubt it would resolve anything, I refuse to make myself look weak

[Calli84]

Don't think you should see yourself as week here. You deserve to get a closer to this relationship. And you deserve to be able to move on with your life and relationship with other girls. I think you should give it a try. Write what you want to say and what you want answers to.

[sensible27]

(no one really cares what you look like, except you yourself.. figure out what the problem is and solve it possibly)

Life is sometimes too short for some things..

[SnakeBoop]

so long as you told her, though it may also be worth making sure she still knows and isn't under the impression you've changed your mind yet

[JoseJr]

Ima still keep it a bean, If a jar full of some liquid said toxic, would you get the impression that at some point it would stop being toxic? Like do you really expect for it to change even when it already has the warning label?

[SnakeBoop]

No, but you'd be surprised with some people who believe they'll "fix" or change others. just be sure to keep it as clear as possible.
I wouldn't expect the dude to stop talking with others if he said thats what he was going to do. But some women don't think the same as me.

[JoseJr]

You make a fair point there

[SweetDumplings]

Yes and I would never ever date you or talk to you, that girl is stupid and has low self esteem

[JoseJr]

I ain't trippin, I kept it real, what you do after I told you is on you, truth be told hence why somtimes I feel bad, but deep down I know I kept it 💯

[PoopyPoop]

It's how much you sugarcoat here that determines how wrong it is as I see it.

[JoseJr]

I guess its diabetic approved cuz I ain't sugacoat nothin, i told her how it was n like I stated she stuck around so far

[PoopyPoop]

I use "sugarcoat" in the loosest way like we probably all do at least a little bit. Like do you tell her about the other girls you are seeing? It is an official open relationship? There is no moral conflict as I see it if she knows *everything*.

[JoseJr]

I didn't tell her exactly how many girl's I talk to, no we aren't in any official relationship but like I mentioned before I took her on a date, or doing the deed, I told her I wasn't trying to get into a relationship and that I was gonna continue seeing other people while talking to her

[Laciandmaci]

If I were dating you and I knew you were talking to other girls you would be out of my life

[Petermorgan34]

If your not an official deal then no dont feel bad and you were up front and honest, if your official albeit hard to do sometimes you should stip

[Vegasrunner]

You are only wrong for not acquiring more girls. At your age you should be enjoying life and trying to meet as many women that meet your standards as possible.

[TheFlak38]

not at all. if you have options explore them all exactly like girls do. Give them a taste of their own medicine.

[Hangry06]

If you told her, that's on her

[FunkyMonkee]

Not a damn thing wrong with that!

[emperor90]

Depends if she is ok with it

[Slim57]

No I can't understand why she's sticking around