I think it starts with salvaging the friendship. Honesty needs to become the next big step, that's the real hurdle for many people I've known. Flush everything out, get at the root of everything, say what really happened, what everyone did, and why. If you can't do that, then it's all that will be in your heads when you look at each other, when you speak with each other, and when you think of each other.
Get that out of the way, then trust at least has a chance, and with some real trust, friendship.
If you can become friends again, then you can love each other. That won't be a promise of romance, but that's just the reality, you're rebuilding from scratch.
It won't be easy, either. You'll probably have to write your conclusions, literally put a signature on what you agree on, and get deeper into the pain and hate that has grown. But after fighting like that, you have to be worn. If you have kids, then that's who you're doing it for, and that's all the reason you need.
I don't know what you have to done to exercise all of this from your mind, but if you want some advice, just ask.
Good luck, and I hope peace finds you and your family.
A toxic relationship can very seldom be fixed because there is a lack of will to make it better.
Sure, people will say that they can start all over again but once the relation has transited back into the routine mode, nothing has actually changed and the toxicity will appear sooner or later when one specific situation calls for it.
It is the very same as with cheating. Once a cheater, always a cheater. The amount of incentive to go back into the old habits is the determining factor. If an incentive is high enough, the person will relapse and that is the exact same scenario for a toxic person, a cheater or an addict of any kind.
Toxic relationships don't start well and then become toxic, but they are toxic and come to light as such after a while when you see how people really are.
They are usually toxic because people who interact with each other have personality disorders that interact and make them so.
In fact they are often relationships of co-dependence and co-abuse. The problem with these relationships lies in the psychology of the parts in the relationship.
The only things you can fix are your minds, but once they are fixed you probably won't feel any need for each other if your relationship is based on co-dependency issues.
It depends on WHY it became toxic. Did the wife/girlfriend all of a sudden start hanging out with some Harpies? Did the Husband/boyfriend start hanging out with some lowlife creeps? The thing is people don't just wake up one morning and become toxic. This is caused by outside forces. Several years ago a lady I know started to notice her now ex started doing things that made her uncomfortable. She put up with a lot, but finally gave him a choice her or that other stuff. He did not choose her. He lived to regret it.
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I'd say you could try couple's therapy or other extreme measures only if you guys were married with kids - in that case you should at least give it a try to save what you have.
But if you have nothing holding you except for the memories of what used to be, then I advise you to move on. To your own good.
I think it’s possible but it’s so hard that it is unlikely. The reason these things started happening is probably because you stopped seeing eye to eye and you no longer understand each other. You start perceived the other party as mean and confusing and it’s really hard to go back to seeing each other as innocent people past that point. It requires two people identifying the problem and agreeing that it is worth the effort to work on it. And then not giving up and forgiving each other for all the things that happened. Also altering the behaviour that caused this issue to start with. It’s possible but it is unlikely.
For me cheating is a deal breaker.
Cause it's a conscious decision. Some people say it was a mistake, but if you know what you're doing and the consequences it's not a mistake.
in my opinion there's no second chances when it comes to cheating.
You both could try counseling but to be honest it sounds like some irreparable damage took place and for both of your sanity it might be better to move on
Maybe I'm being too optimistic but I think it can come back. It's the same as a toxic person improving.
u I think it's possible, but if one is simply in a relationship and not married, then I wouldn't hold out much hope.
Unlikely. People who don't want respect each other will always find a reason to play the toxic game again and again.
I am really sorry for what I am about to say, but there are very slim chances of making it.
No, once respect for each other is gone, it can’t come back.
no. Once it starts. It never fades away... The fact there has been cheated already indicates the relationship is over.
Well you can start by not posting photos like this when it’s tied to your personal issues. She might not appreciate that.
Maturing is the only remedy and maturing takes time for some a life time. But I'd say if one can be mature consult a more mature person and be willing to listen.
No once cheating has occurred you should leave that person other wise that relationship will just bring you pain
If someone is doing those things they aren't mature enough for a relationship
Id say yes, but only if she is willing to make an effort to change and really means it.
Sure it can be fine, once you both figure out how to lose some of your memory.
I don't think so it's over at that point!
What happened bro? Do you wanna talk about it?
Both can find forgiveness with each other
Move on
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