That's tough, there have been a lot of moments:
-My parent's divorce. My brother had just left, my half-sister just moved into her house with her husband and kids and was busy, and I was torn in the middle when I was 12 with both fighting over me and the divorce court proceedings weren't fun. I started with one parent at one school and got bumped around a few times and my mother's alcoholic boyfriends were all assholes save for one I really liked but he's dead now from liver failure.
-Alysa's death was extremely difficult. She was the only person who was ever there for me consistently and without her I was fucking lost. I literally couldn't even believe it when I woke up that morning to see the Facebook posts, I thought people were playing some kind of cruel joke about her death. I even used to visit her memorial regularly for a couple years after until I was 17, I fell asleep there some nights while my mother was out with her boyfriends or my dad was fighting my stepmom and dreamed of her magically coming back somehow.
-Emily leaving me. I honestly really thought she loved me and she told me she'd be around forever and always wanted to be around me. And then as soon as my virginity came up she hightailed it out the door faster than Bugz Bunny out of that cave with the big sword guy. I really legitimately thought she loved me and she really got me thinking she cared. Fucked me up for a while after self-esteem-wise, I mean YEARs. Still kind of really. I also directly tried to kill myself because of that amongst other things and the hospital stay I had to endure after was no paradise.
I think though that one thing in particular takes the cake: The height of my drug addiction possibly. I was literally at the point that I was trying to kill myself because I just didn't want to do it anymore. I just felt fucking cold and numb all the fucking time and like no one noticed me or wanted me around or cared, no one gave a fuck about me. I was just a loser to everyone that was sucking up their precious air and had nothing to offer of value and no real future anymore. I was just done. Someone incredibly kind and sweet saved me. And I got to learn how to come back from things and more important, I literally kicked a fucking drug addiction and alcoholism. My life changed. But it had to get worse first.
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For the past year up to this very day. Each day worse than the previous. I remain somewhat hopeful, but it's dissipating.
"There’s a loneliness that only exists in one’s mind. The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly."
--- F. Scott Fitzgerald
After getting fired for the first and only time in my life.
I busted my butt for that job, working 10-11 hours a day. My manager decided after 6 weeks of me transferring over to full time (before I was student working part time on her project for 8 months, and on other people's project for 2.5 years) she wanted someone with a masters degree for an entry level position. I had even trained her on procedures and equipment because I had been there 1.5 years longer.
I was 21 years old. I interned my last semester on the project, graduated early so I could work the full time job. I got fired within 6 weeks and naturally questioned what I was supposed to so with my life.
My parents blamed me for getting fired. They kept trying to take away my ability live independently, saying I NEEDED to give up my lease and move home so I could apply for a local job and get stuck in their small town.
Needless to say, I stuck to my guns, and found a new job in the same city in 2 months.
I used to feel really alone growing up after my mom died. I was the only girl in the house after that. My brothers and dad were great, and I had an aunt that I could call for girl stuff, but it wasn't the same as having mom there with me.
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I have felt alone since I left college more than a decade ago. I think all men go through loneliness, some get consumed by it and make stupid decisions or suffer while others learn that it's their life and they're going to be alone unless and until someone wants something from them. Until a few years back it used to bother me also, but then I put my focus into new hobbies and my business and I've been doing well ever since. Have a passion, do something that makes you tired and fall asleep at night.
usually, it is when I am by myself, and I am first on the scene to a pnb call and have to initiate cpr etc.
I've done it, we train for it, you can hear help coming on the radio and it sure is nice to see them when they arrive on scene.
Also, first on a fire scene with reported entrapment, or an accident that needs extrication and you have to wait for the tools to arrive on scene. There is only so much you can do by yourself at that moment.
Climbing into a wrecked vehicle to see if that person is still with us or not with a crowd of people watching can make you feel pretty alone as well.If you mean by alone "without love and without a wife or girlfriend" than i can tell you that the majority of my life i felt this way which is lonely because i can't act and be someone who ain't me and i can't be with girls just for fun and one night stand, i seek for real love and a real relationship that leads to marriage and these days i'm not like what i used to be in my 20's and i had a bad experience in my past, i just go with the flow, if god puts this girl in my way so be it and if not than i just guess that i have to live day by day hoping foe a change and to find the one...
When I was about 21. I wasn't alone but I felt like I was drifting in a dark ocean, not caring if I sunk beneath the waves. I was... tired. I was ready to die.
Probably about this time last year.
i had broken up with my long term girlfriend (amicably) in December 2019, had moved house in the November 2020 to other side of country, and had just come though a winter pretty much alone due to lockdown and other factors.
You know it’s bad when you are cutting a steak and watching the blood seep out and remembering how it feels, then the remembering turns to thinking about it, which…A few nights a week, I feel infinitely alone. Like there is no end to the distance between myself and anyone that could genuinely care about me. I think a part of it is because I recently moved away from my family, but sometimes I just feel like I can't cry enough.
Yesterday I realised I was well fed had good money in my account, everything I needed, was away from any toxic people and could afford anything i want but i walked past all the restaurants and shops in town because all I wanted was someone to talk to who i loved who loved me.
When I was sent to study in another city and lived with my aunt. She treated me like trash and I felt like trash. I was barely fed, felt guilty for failing my exams, so didn’t complain to my parents. I literally went a whole year living like a homeless person yet under a roof but with a constant reminder that I was not wanted. The min my father would come visit, she’ll turn to the sweetest aunt ✨ That shit scared me for years and made me feel not only alone but scared if anything happened to my parents, tf would happen to me. the person I thought was family, turned out to be a sick monster, and ironically she was super religious and seemed like the nicest person ever.
When I didn’t get much help during Covid when I was in college in an occupational therapy assistant program and then I struggled with seniors and I got kicked out of the college. Now searching for OTA programs elsewhere. I basically have no future though
"Felt alone?" I AM the Loneliness.
"Oh, you think loneliness is your ally. But you merely adopted the loneliness; I was BORN IN IT! Moulded by it. I didn't see a vagina until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but BLINDING!"right now, my wife of 37 years passed away Feb19th 2018, I have my 2 daughters, but it's not the same , i miss having someone to talk with. and others are not the same , and other things
In college there was a 4 month time frame where I did an internship where I didn't know anyone. It was OK but I was separated from my family and friends and at that age it was rough.
I’ve never felt alone, not once. I always feel surrounded. Either by angels or crossed loved ones. Even when riding I think about them and feel them with me. If present or not it’s how I feel.
when i had no friends nearby and a smaller family, a few years ago it was really lonely but now its changed
Probably the last couple years the pandemic hasn't helped but I don't know if it honestly would have made a difference. Although I am happy being single but the loneliness sucks
Lately I am now. I have no family near by. I do not see my employees anymore in person. Dating is slim. Just really do not see anyone anymore. Virtual just does not cut it
Always alone, come into this world alone and leave alone... People seek companshipe throughout thier lives.. because theya re alone... Religeon was invented... because we are alone
During my last breakup up until now.
I lost my best friend of 7 years. I am not really an outgoing person so she's usually the only person I usually speak to outside family..
Being alone refreshing and sad at the same time.I think definitely these past 3 years cuz of the pandemic, breakups, and just getting older.
I had to drop out of school and I broke up with my long time girlfriend about the same time. I was completely adrift in the world.
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