Is it toxic to get close with a guy who has girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

[SkyCastle90]

It depends.

Platonically, no.
Romantically, yes.

If you're pursuing an unavailable man for romantic purposes, then it's possible you're struggling with attachment issues you may need to sort out with a psychologist; if the guy reciprocates romantically while in a relationship/marriage, then he also has issues of his own (but his issues are not your responsibility).

If this were an affair, it may not seem like it at first, but there is only one winner in this scenario and that is the partner that was cheated on because she can freely move on for this disaster. You'll be stuck having to navigate a new relationship with a broken foundation built on lies with a guy who has no emotional awareness/knowledge.

[Wraith_Cemetery]

Befriending them and just having minor conversations once in a while is probably ok as long as you're not going out alone together and as long as the significant other knows about it or is there with both of you.

"Getting close", on the other hand, definitely is inappropriate. It will cause unnecessary drama for everyone involved. What is the intention? And why this person specifically? There are plenty of single guys that you could befriend and "get close to".

I don't want to use the word toxic though. That word is thrown around a lot by Gen Z. They call everything and anything toxic. It will only become truly toxic once you're involved seriously and purposefully destroying the romantic relationship the guy has with the other girl for your own gain. That kind of behaviour actually is toxic.

[JDAC2209199]

I'd say I'm torn on this matter, I don't think so if you're respectful and don't cross certain boundaries and try to include them in the friendship you have with the guy even if it's just a hi! How's so and so or trying to make convo with them too but crossing certain boundaries like nights alone without him consulting his partner is wrong but I don't know I feel like there's lines everyone needs to not cross in that situation it's pretty dicey unless the guy and the girlfriend are 100% trusting of each other or both get on with you I don't know

[Xoxocutekitty]

He should allowed to have or make female friends.

It's 'toxic' when the friendship isn't hobby or activity based, and it turns into him complaining about his girlfriend. He should prioritize his girlfriend and the new friend should be OK and supportive of his existing life choices. As long as he's not spending more or comparable amounts of time with his new friend than his girlfriend, I think it's OK.

Also, as the new friend you have to be willing to meet and hang out with this girlfriend. If you aren't willing, that's toxic.

[Angie221994]

He’s allowed to have female friends that also see him as a friend. He shouldn’t however have female friends that like him more than a friend.

[De_La_BakedBeans]

Depends on how you define "close". For example, my girlfriend and I have been together for around seven years now. But I've had a friend who's a girl fro even longer. At first we where just friends, but later on, after my girlfriend and I got together, we started getting really close, and now, she's like my little sister. She's my best and only friend other than my girlfriend and she's been there for me in some really tough times, and I've been there for her. So yes, I'd say it's alright to get close, unless your intentions are to get him to dump his girlfriend for you. Then that's just kind of crappy.

[midnightmoon05]

Would you be okay with him having close female friend?
he takes her on trips? And pays her way. Buys her stuff. Stays over at her house because she can’t fix her own car and he is a nice guy. Gives her money because she loves to go shopping. And listen to all her problems for hours.
okay with any of that?

[lilyanony1]

Umm well I see nothing wrong with being someone's friend. But the question is why the need to befriend him.
Obviously most people would question why.
But If it really is just innocent then it is OK. But don't try to be more than friends or take him away from his partner

[Adam1978]

It's certainly not the path of less resistance. First of all it increases your odds to be rejected. And if he doesn't reject you it increases the odds he is a cheater or a person who easily flip girlfriends so how secure will you be in that relationship? So what do you hope to find? A guy who is really hard to convince but where you win eventually? Beyond that do you want girls to compete for your boyfriend or do you dislike it? If you dislike it don't be the person you dislike.

[Idazle34]

If you have no romantic interest in the guy then it isn't toxic. If the girlfriend is getting suspicious about the two of you it is time to take a couple steps back. Because chances are that even though you aren't interested in the guy romantically the guy is most likely seeing you as a potential romantic option. And the last thing you want to do if you care about the guy is destroy his relationship.

[PositiveNote]

Well, do you know if this is a serious relationship he has going, or is it one of several in the last few years? I'd say play it out by being around for him to notice. Don't butt in or try to do a power grab. Just see if he notices you and wants to spend time talking or such. You can tell if he's taken if he's flirting or showing you he's looking.

[laurieluvsit]

I don't know about toxic but it is inappropriate, I would never do that in the way you are meaning it.

[Anonymous]

It’s cool to have friends of the opposite sex when dating, but not close. If you were already close with this guy BEFORE he was dating then it’s fine. But if you’re becoming close with him after he started to date this girl, I wouldn’t. Guarantee his girlfriend will start problems with you, plus it’s just not fun.

[Cherry234]

You can have friends of the opposite gender (even when you're in a relationship). I do. However, becoming super close to a man who is in a relationship (i. e. wanting to spend time with him constantly and telling him all your secrets) is trouble.

[spartan55]

Toxic... could this buzzword be any more ubiquitous now? Ugh...
I don't think toxic is the right word. Selfish, no morals, lack of respect.. those fit much better.

[Vegasrunner]

I dont see what the problem is. The fact that this question is getting these type of responses highlights another gender double standard.

[hi8sm3]

I agree.

[ohshee]

Let me ask you this you have a boyfriend and there's a girl that likes him and she asked the same question how would you feel what would you do what would you say

[Screenwriter]

It's not toxic if it's OK with both him and his girl for you to be his friend.

It's toxic if you're trying to make a move on him, and something's very toxic about you for doing so.

[Lliam]

No. A guy has the option of choosing to move on from girlfriend. It would be toxic to get close to a guy who was married.

[Guanfei]

Depends on what you call "close". If it's being a friend, no, even tho his girlfriend might be a bit pissed by it.
If you want to fuck him, yes, it is, and you'd be a piece of shit for it.

[Medhat-M]

[Socal99]

If it's just a friendship it's a different story if you're trying to move in on and you're a fucking piece of shit

[dustybiker]

There is nothing good that can come from you pursuing a taken man.

[SnakeBoop]

not toxic.
maybe stupid if you're thinking you'd get any more for instance

[DizzyDesii]

Its a waste of time and i’d question that persons true intentions