My boyfriend knows that I have hurt myself in the past, how do I tell him that I am doing it again?

[PleaseGiveAdvice07]

My boyfriend knows I have hurt myself before and checks my wrists for cuts but I have started cutting my legs again. I need to know how to tell him. I think he already suspects that I started hurting myself again but doesn't want to bring it up because it is a touchy subject. How can I go about telling him in a calmly manor through text?

Updates

+1 y

My boyfriend knows I have hurt myself before and checks my wrists for cuts but I have started cutting my legs again. I don't want anyone else to know and I need to know how to tell him. I think he already suspects that I started hurting myself again but doesn't want to bring it up because it is a touchy subject. How can I go about telling him in a calmly manor through text?

[ohshee]

You call him up and you tell him to come over . you sit him down right in front of you and then cut yourself. ..
Can you do that.. if you can't tell me why. If you can tell me why.. if you can do it it means your just using him to hey s reaction..

Let me ask you this we hot covid 19 going on right now. What happens if you get that. Then what happens when you get Hepatitis on top of that if you want to hurt yourself that's fine that's cool do it but if you want to hurt yourself that means you can do it in many ways right or is it just the reaction you get because your cutter I'll tell you what if you want to hurt yourself do this everyday for a week take your shoe off go outside and kick a tree's how did you fucking can tell me if that hurts or wait a minute would it hurt too much are you addicted to the pain well go kick a tree as hard as you possibly can
Do you really like your boyfriend...

Be honest 100% honest. Can you do that. I would like to say that you can and I'm going to give you a 50/50 right on it when you have a girlfriend or boyfriend you want to look good for dinner all the time you want when they look at you they melt they see stars all around you and beautiful colors because you want to keep that love life that passion and your glow to always look so very beautiful

Tell me this when your boyfriend starts looking at you what you going to start seeing who's really going to see be honest

I don't think you like your boyfriend I don't think you love him and this is the part that makes no sense to me you're selfish because you love yourself because you're only thinking about yourself when you start cutting yourself so if you love yourself more than your boyfriend why don't you love yourself enough to stop cutting yourself go kick a tree if you really think you need that pain so much go kick a tree you can't do it can you you won't do it I think you really need to start being honest with yourself what do other people see when they see you they don't even have to know that your cutter give me the seed in your eyes your glow will be gone don't be a follower. Be a leader.. . This is what I feel coming from you your energy tells me your a good person beautiful heart you feel things and see things deeper than most.. look up the word EMPATH. Sometimes in life when we are young we feel things do deep. And we dont understand it or why we can shut it off.. so in stead of trying to figure it out we take the easy. Easy way starts out easy so easy that its addicting because now your trading 1 pain for another or a feeling for another go kick the tree dont even think about it just walk up and kick it.. let me ask you something
Do you feel loved
Can and do you love
Are you miss understood when your with your friends do you walk behind them.. when there are 3 or 4 of your friends together.. you start talking and one of them interrupt you it just starts talking over you like you're not even there does that happen are you bored are you home a lot
When you were born you got a gift we all got to gift
And that gift is choice what is the most powerful words in this world it's more powerful than the word love because each and every single day you have to make choices every step you take every time you cut yourself you have to make that choice
And with choice we get to choose who we want to be in this life by the things that we say. And that we do it's a choice it's an easy Choice that's what makes it so easy if it was a hard choice you have to fight yourself all the way through wouldn't you
Well I don't know who you choose to be it's really none of my business but this is what I see I see a girl that came to this planet to experience something and understood the realm of it so deep then one day she got this aha moment because something bad happened edit changed you in a powerful way because when that bad thing happen you made a decision right then and there start going to school to learn and you

[ohshee]

When you understand who you really are and why you're on this planet it's going to change your life you will teach people you will teach kids how to stop cutting themselves because you have all that knowledge go get the tree every day for one week hard as you can make a choice to be somebody positive show your boyfriend how strong of a person you really are not how weak you are all the above is your choice who you want to be in life is your choice become that leader inside of you take the pain you have gotten learn from it fix it and help other people with it that should be your goal in life I really want you to go kick that tree as hard as you can I want you to understand what real pain is go look up the word empath ask would it impact is I'm going to tell you right now that there is probably a test just to see if you are an empath if you find out that you aren't going to change your life now you understand why you feel the things that you feel inside of you why you feel the need do not feel what you're feeling because you don't understand it but you understand what's going on inside of your body can you understand what's going on the outside of your body don't take the easy way and cut yourself find the real reason why you're cutting yourself they'll find the real reason why you're kicking the fucking tree as hard as you can if you ever need to talk add me as a friend or send me a message I will talk with you I will explain to you why I said everything that I said the moment I click Send and the moment you read all of this will be the moment you change your life the choice is yours I can help you through this if you want help

[nachosaresexy]

Telling your boyfriend might not be a bad idea but I think it's much more important for you to tell your parent (s)... or a teacher... or a doctor... someone that can help give you advice. Life is tough man. You're not a bad person at all, you're just struggling and all of us have different types of struggles. I'm not sayin it'll be easy but i really really hope you can have the courage to tell someone what you're going through so they can help you figure out some good options that could make a huge positive difference for you. Gook luck 👊

[AndrésC64]

First of all don't do it through text. Sit down with him and tell him that you've been struggling lately. Be honest and open.

[AndrésC64]

Slight amendment: I didn't notice your age. As others have noted, my best advice would be to talk to your parents or a counselor or a doctor.

[Surely]

Why do you feel that you need to hurt yourself?
Does your school have a nurse or someone else you could speak with?
Please get some help. You are too young to be doing this.

[MrtoddsWildRide]

First, go get help from a qualified therapist. Then worry about what to tell him.

[888theGreat]

don't understand this stuff. Why do you cut yourself? You are punishing yourself for being bad?

[PleaseGiveAdvice07]

I guess I do it because it feels deserved.

[noohair]

Talk to your parents about getting professional help.

[Avicenna]

Tell him you have something important to tell him

[EaterPeter]

Share with anyone who can get you help.

[Iron_Man]

Talk to your parents about it they’re in charge

[nachosaresexy]

Ideally, yeah, but lots of assumptions built into that comment.

[PleaseGiveAdvice07]

@nachosaresexy I don't want to tell my parents. I feel like they will quickly jump to assumptions and I don't want help I just want to talk to someone.

[nachosaresexy]

well it's good that you have parents in the picture. beyond that, none of us know the relationship dynamics with them, if it's different between you & mom vs. you & dad, etc etc.

but your parents almost certainly care about you way more than anyone else possibly could, so in that case I agree with da @Iron_Man that's the best place to start, unless there's something behind the scenes the rest of us don't know about.

but why would you not want help? asking for help doesn't make you a bad or weak person. just means there's something in your life that you'd feel better if you could get past it. whether it's biting your finger nails or eating too many oreos or cutting yourself. some of those things are just harder to talk about, and that's where help from peeps who love you is one of the coolest things any of us will ever experience in life.

[PleaseGiveAdvice07]

@nachosaresexy I don't have my birth mother in the picture and I know it would upset my father and step mom. I have mixed feelings about telling my boyfriend but I feel that he has the right to know. I want help but not from a professional I went through this before on my own and I thought I had gotten through it.

[nachosaresexy]

... but yeah, talking to your duder friend might not be a bad idea, and i can see why that'd be the easiest option, and maybe a good starting point. just bring it up in whatever way feels natural to you, but how old is homeboy? it might be a really difficult topic for him to even begin to try to understand, which is why we're suggesting you consider to talking to other peeps about it and not just him.

[PleaseGiveAdvice07]

@nachosaresexy He's a year younger than me. It's difficult talking about it with anyone.

[nachosaresexy]

it's cool you have each other to talk to but just being real about it that's a tough topic for your boyfriend to be able to understand and relate to. lots & lots of peeps go through this kinda thing... i bet there's others on this site who can give you advice from their own real life experience and offer better suggestions than i can. hopefully those peeps come through on here!