I like a guy friend, he doesn't know. He's getting over someone and is being distant. Not sure what to do?

[RedGamer]

We started talking just as his relationship was coming to an end (about a month ago). We sent long paragraphs to each other, I was helping him any way I could. I've caught feelings and haven't told him. He told me he thinks I'm hot, I told him it's mutual. We've complimented each other here and there and commented that we both wished we lived closer.

Since he's told me, he's been a little distant, takes longer to message back, leaves me on read etc. Im trying to not take it personally as he has no idea I like him. I haven't told him because we're long distance and he's hung up on this girl so I'm happy to be friends with him. I like that he's in my life and want him to take a permanent residency (even as friends) but I feel he's going to leave it (soft ghost). Not sure how to keep him interested in just being friends and not leaving me. Do I continue to just be there for him, distance myself or tell him that I like him?

I'm aware I could get hurt which is why I'm keeping my emotions in check and reminding myself LDR are too hard and rarely work so a relationship with him is off the table. Also, he may not even like me like that so keeping that in mind also helps. I kinda wish he didn't tell me he found me attractive.

[Phoenix-gb]

There's a few ways this could be interpreted, either he has realised how you feel and doesn't feel the same, so is pulling away to try and put that distance in place, but could also be that he feels the same, but doesn't feel ready for anything serious so trying to stop himself.

Only way you're going to find out is to talk to them about it, as long as you make it clear that you're not trying to push him into anything, you just want to understand why he's pulling away, you know where you stand and where you can move on to from there.

[Pyrofox]

Give a little time and if he still hasn't found another. Maybe just give him the open ended offer of a date but not call it specifically a date and see if he catches on. O. O can tell him when he asks the question. Of "these are dates right?" You can jokingly poke his sides and be like, Noh really? And give him your classic smile.

[CrazyGirl2]

Definitely give him the space (and time) to mourn the loss of that relationship. If you jump into his life romantically now he could really get hurt, I mean he’s a guy so more than likely he’ll go for it, but it’s doomed to fail, and you would be a horrible person because even though you were told it would definitely hurt him in the long run, but you did it anyway!

[RedGamer]

Yeah, I'm not looking to be romantic with him because I know it won't work due to his feelings for this other girl right now. It would be unfair on both parties. He's really cool though, so would love him to stick around even as friends

[CrazyGirl2]

Good for you! Great decision 🤗

[Anonymous]

It was just an excuse towards you. he's not interested

[boggboss]

Not much u can't do but interact with him as a friend are u sure u can do that as it seems u have fallen pretty hard already

[RedGamer]

Yeah, I can do that. We've been talking about each others etc. I don't feel jealous when he talks about his (obvs id love if it was me haha) I guess because I know he's mourning so emotionally unavailable in that sense and just the fact of long distance wouldn't work (for me anyway) so its easier to accept being friends

[RedGamer]

Dates*

[boggboss]

Fair enough if that's the case just continue walking to him

[boggboss]

Talking*

[mark000h]

I think you should tell him. You'll never know if you don't try.

[RedGamer]

Maybe I will but I believe its too soon to tell him. I think if I told him it would end the friendship

[mark000h]

Use your judgement, but remember "nothing ventured, nothing gained" if you don't take a chance, you'll end up with nothing.

[noohair]

This might sound harsh but, when I read your story, it sounded like to teens. Sorry.

[RedGamer]

Doesn't sound harsh but your opinion isn't exactly helpful in this instance. I was asking for advice, not asking how my situation comes across

[noohair]

I always rely on talking on the phone. Messaging can be misunderstood and everyone has their own definition of what proper texting etiquette is. Hope this helps.

[awkward_author]

Tell him how you feel.