I'm confused by my guy friend and need advice!

[Anonymous]

I was hanging out with my guy friend not that long ago. He's kinda confusing me and I'm not sure if he is becoming friendlier because we have become closer friends or if it's something else. First off he jokingly asked if I would marry him and then when I said I was going to leave if I would take him home with me. Then he said that he likes spending time with me and asked if I wanted to hang out for awhile. Clearly that's being a good friend. Once in his dorm room, he came up beside me and pulled me into a side up and then reached out his hands for a front hug, he wouldn't let go right away. I let go and he wanted another hug. We were watching a tv show on his bed and one point he was rubbing my face with his thumb and then he was rubbing my back as he was staring into my eyes saying how time felt like it was going so fast. He kept asking me if I found certain guys attractive on the show and when I said one was good looking, he thought it was weird and asked me if I would like him then since he didn't look like the guy. He picked up a strand of my hair and said it smelled nice. Another time he was at his desk on his computer looking at fb and I came up behind his chair. He reached his hands up and grabbed my shoulders and his one hand travelled down my back to my hip and up to my waist and then leaned his head back against me. Later he asked if something he was doing was a turn off. Lately instead of giving high fives, he reaches out his hand for me to grab it. I'm just really confused, maybe all these things mean we are becoming good friends.

Updates

+1 y

I also feel like he is always looking at me. He seems to notice facial expressions I make and even asked if I was scared of him. He is always mimicking the way I say things and I was confused why he brought up this thing I said in an argument with him. I had texted him saying I had felt stupid for liking him. This happened a week or two earlier and I had apologized several times. Sorry that this is so long.

[Minerals-101]

Ok, so I've read through some of the other people's responses and they seem to understand something you don't. HE LIKES YOU, plain as day. The way he is flirting with you IS NOT a sign of him just being a good friend. You said, he was rubbing your back. NO guy would just randomly rub a girl's back to be friendly. Would you lean on a guy's shoulder during a movie if you didn't like him? I doubt it. To respond to all the guys saying that "no guy ever just wants to be friends with a girl" this simply just isn't true. Yes, it is more difficult for guys to be "just friends" with a girl than it is vice-versa, but it is definitely possible. And it's quite easy to tell too :) One way to tell if a guy just wants to be friends is by the way he interacts with you. he won't touch you the way you're saying he touches you, he also won't talk to you the way you say this man does. This man likes you and is TRYING to take it to the next level! He's trying to confidently convey his feelings to you in a way that is blatantly obvious, but not coming on too strong. And to put the conspiracy to rest... No, he is not trying to just have sex with you. The only reason he would want to get into bed with you NOW would be to cuddle with you :) he won't try and force himself on you (at least it's very unlikely).

You responded to a guy's response earlier by saying that he already knows that you like him, and that you think he is just questioning whether or not you do actually like him. He is definitely wondering whether or not you like him, that's why he's flirting with you, but not coming off super strong. If it's true that you do actually like him. Show some interest back! I guarantee it'll make his day. Ask him if he wants to watch a movie sometime, and when you do, rest your head on his shoulder sometime during the movie. This WILL show him that you do actually like him! Also, no pressure, he does like you :)

Good Luck! (P. S. sorry for the essay)

[Asker]

Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it! I think you might be right with the cuddling thing. I would think if sex was just what he wanted, I wouldn't think that he would rest his head on my shoulder for awhile. I felt like he could have even rested his head on my chest, but I felt like he avoided it. Though the one thing that doesn't make sense to me is why he asked why if I was scared on him. He asked that before I got on the bed with him and then the next day I hung out with him. He stood in front of me real close and asked if I was scared.

[BiggsyDaBoss]

I have been with my partner for 10 years & I love her very much. What you describe are very familiar to the ways I show affection to my partner. A lot of people are saying he wants to sleep with you, which is likely, he is a man after all. However his actions are reminiscent of someone who has deeper feelings than just the desire to "sleep with someone".

Remember we men are very much dictated to by our sexual drives, in fact men go through more hormonal imbalances than women do in a month. So don't feel he's being sleazy or a creep if he's exhibiting signs of sexual attraction towards you. For men it's a very natural part of how our attraction towards someone is exhibited. Like I say, his actions seem more than just sexual attraction.

Caveat:
As I don't know either of you. I can not say with any degree of certainty what his feelings are or are not. I can only relate to how I would show affection & what is understood about how men show affection in general.

[Asker]

Thanks you have helped a lot! I really appreciate it. It's really interesting that, you show your affection to your partner in similar ways. I kinda think you could be right on the fact that he doesn't want to just sleep with me, I realize he is a man and is somewhat by his sexual drive. I feel that if he only wanted to sleep with me, I'm not sure if he would tell me anything personal about himself or ask my opinion on things. To me that at least shows friendship.

[BiggsyDaBoss]

@Asker
You are more than welcome & also I apologise for my bad grammar. I work nights & had not long woken up when I responded.

He certainly seems to show a great deal of affection towards you. Of course I'm not there & I can't say for sure. Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you both.

PS If I might be so bold. If you don't feel attracted towards him & you don't feel you could ever return his affection. It would be kinder to let him know sooner rather than later.

[Asker]

No, don't worry about the bad grammar. I understand. I actually am attracted to him. Before exam time I had actually told him I liked him and stupidly tried to talk about it with him. Basically it was a mess. He was super stressed about exams and told me that he couldn't even think about it. He said he wanted to please me, but felt like he couldn't handle that with the exams. Then he said that he would be a much different person after exams and that we could celebrate. I felt bad and I had never wanted to put more pressure on him, but I don't know what he thought I was trying to ask all I was trying to figure out is if he would ever go out with me. We ended up studying/ me helping him prepare for this exam in our mutual class. We were studying for long hours together for more than two weeks. After that discussion I was kinda confused because he was kinda rambling and while some things made sense others didn't. I sent him a text after that discussion and repeated the question

[Asker]

that I had wanted to ask in the first place. I asked if after we had hung out for a couple times when he was less stressed, if he would go out with me once? He said sure, but maybe he was just saying that to please me. Especially because I was still studying with him for our exam. I guess I thought it would be better to be friends at that point and support him. I'm going to try to talk to him next week when I see him to figure out what is going on.

[BiggsyDaBoss]

@Asker
Sorry about not getting back to you, super busy at work. Thanks for the "Most Helpful" vote.

OK he seems to be blowing hot & cold, that could be for many reasons. As you rightly pointed out, stress could be a factor. Also we are often conditioned to try and "play it cool". Which is silly in my opinion, but very often happens. I would suggest that you talk about the mixed signals he's been sending your way. This then gives him the option of being truthful, without feeling he has to act in a particular way. This benefits him, but also benefits you, as you will get a more honest response & you won't have to wonder if he's just going on a date with you because he feels he has to. It is possible that he harbours feelings for you, but that the timing isn't great.

It is difficult to tell, there are many variables at work. So like I said talk to him about his expressive behaviour, how at times he's touchy feely, that you like that, but are willing to just be friends.

[BiggsyDaBoss]

@Asker
Keep playing the ball back to his court, so to speak. As no matter the response you get, it will be an honest one. Sometimes honesty is hard to deal with, but it's better that he's honest with you, than leaving you filled with doubt. Doubt can poison things between people.

[Asker]

Your welcome and thanks for all the help. I really appreciate it.

[Asker]

I'm going to have a conversation with him this week or as soon as I see him. It would be a lot easier if he was honest, so at least I know if there is the possibility of something more or he just wants to be friends.

[BiggsyDaBoss]

Don't sweat it. Sometimes it can be helpful to get a guys view on these types of things. You take care.

[Asker]

I don't know if you will see this, but I wanted to ask your opinion on this situation. At the very beginning of break, the last day we were hanging out he kept asking me if I was afraid of him because I guess of how I acted when we were watching this movie. I was falling off the bed a couple times (kinda like a bunk-bed, but without the 2nd bed-it was a twin) because he decided to move in a way that pushed. I was scared of falling off. Then he was doing some other things. He doesn't like texting but when I texted him in the beginning of break he usually responded. That was until I sent him this text, I told him that I wasn't afraid of him, but sometimes I got nervous because I thought he might want something. You kinda see why with all the stuff that happened above. He said, Want Wut? I said I wasn't sure, but maybe a causal hookup. After that he got kinda distant, he wouldn't answer my text messages and only did when I sent one saying that I didn't mean to imply that he would hurt me

[Asker]

and that I mostly just get nervous because of myself. Then responded and said he had been busy. When school started a couple of weeks ago, I realize that he was really stressed about school, but he still kinda acted weird/distant. I ended up getting into an argument about us being friends and accusing him of not caring/wanting to be friends. Now he is just kinda of ignoring me. I feel like everything changed since that text and I don't really know why. I know that he tends to take things personally and gets hurt pretty easily.

[SammyGurl]

He's doing some pretty serious flirting with you girl, of course he's interested in you romantically.

I'm one of those girls who fell in love with her best guy friend. I can't think of any better thing to happen than fall in love with your best friend. You start off so much farther ahead than just starting off dating someone, you already know what each other is like and wha he likes and so forth. You get a. Really good head start on your romantic relationship that way. Just be sure to talk about the "what ifs" before things get going, like what if you break it off will you still want to remain friends. Talk about sex, like at what point in the relationship should you have sex? Once sex enters into a relationship especially too soon it sometimes confuses things. Pull be tempted to have sex soon in the relationship, let things get established before you do, you'll be glad you did.

[Asker]

I kinda have this feeling that he might like me in the same way that I like him. Though I am kinda worried that maybe he just wants a hookup or friends with benefits type of thing. I would like to think that isn't what he is after since he said he enjoys hanging around me and has told me some more personal stuff about himself. I would think if you just wanted a hookup that you wouldn't even attempt to talk about stuff like that.

[Asker]

Yet also when we were going to watch a movie and I said I thought it was kinda stupid and I had already seen it. He seemed to agree right away with what I said and then asked if we should watch it anyway. Something seemed a little off with his answer. He wanted to know if something I did was a turn off and then when we were watching this other show he was comparing himself to the character. He did ask me what I thought of the character he thinks he is like. He also wanted me to know that he doesn't sleep around like that character does. Yeah, I'm just not sure. I think I'm going to have to talk to him when I see him next week or at least see how things go. That's awesome that your best guy friend became your boyfriend! That really does make for a good relationship.

[ashleymaries1990]

Umm this is BEYOND "good friends," friends just stay at a friendly pace but this guy is trying to get physical with you it seems lol. He is clearly showing signs of liking you which is VERY obvious. If he's asking how you see him compared to other guys he's trying to gauge how much you like him or if you find him attractive. If he's rubbing your back, staring into your eyes, or doing ANY sort of romantic stuff he wants something more with you either physical or for you both to date.

You are not becoming "close friends," he's trying to become MORE with you lol... Remember friends just stay at a friendly distance and don't really flirt -- he is clearly flirting with you.

[Asker]

Oh, okay I thought maybe he was overstepping the friends line. My other guy friends have never done these things before, I mean I have given one a hug goodbye that doesn't mean anything. I had told him I had liked before exams and he was so stressed that I let it drop and figured for then it would be better to be friends. Then right after exams all this happened. Then he kept bringing up this thing I had said in a text after getting into this argument with him over studying. I had said I had felt stupid for liking him, which I should never have said but I apologized several times this happened like a week before exams. After exams he brought up what I said again and I didn't really understand why. Later I asked him if he was holding a grudge aganist me and he said it had nothing to do with me.

[emmabee11]

This is all pretty obvious lol he isn't your friend... he's jsut looking for sex plane and simple, when a guy tries to get in the sack with you this fast don't even just lye here with him, if he tries to hug you stand on his foot to make him back off, don't get shit from a guy lol, if he carries on just get out of there asap, he is just touching you without even permission, this is disrespectful. Men are men and they will try to pretend to be your "friend" but truth is 99% of men don't want women as their friends lol sad but true.

[Npaz24]

Its true dat men wants sex but hey some want to have sex but also a relation ship too
Not just sex,
It depends :)

[emmabee11]

Nah that's just not right, when a guy doesn't treat a girl like a lady and just touches and rubs and shit you know he's horny lol i will not let him have the satisfaction or any of you dudes out there, you can be really sick especially when taking advantage of girls who don't know better yet.

[Asker]

I have to admit with the exception of the side hug, he basically did ask for permission. He held out his arms, but didn't make a move to grab me, I chose to hug him. You are absolutely right if he does something I should tell him off if I don't like it.

[heart_beat]

Lengthy, but please do READ every Line! :)

Well, going by what you have described, there probably can be 2 cases [POSITIVE (not possible according to me) and NEGATIVE]:

POSITIVe:
- He LOVES you, much more than a friend and as you are a good friend and don't resist him, he likes touching you etc. (but obvious)
- BUT here, if this is the case, he should tell you that he does LOVE you and would have asked for your response on this (WHY? coz u have already been frank and open to him and hence ther eshould not be any hesitation from his end).

NEGATIVE:
-- The way you described the touchy things he does, gives me an intuition that he merely wants to be physical with you and as you haven't interrupted him in any manner as of yet, his actions of HUGGING, running his hand down upto your WAIST etc. are elevating day by day in the anticipation that you would give up one day as you might get TURNED ON and hence...

-- That day when he was playing up with your hair, brushing ur face etc. actually gives me a VERY STRONG intuition that he wanted to lay with you right there and then - IF YOU COULD HAVE RECIPROCATED ACCORDINGLY. (Thank GOD! you didn't)

I'm Sorry If was too harsh or something like that but I want to make sure that you notice each and every aspect of this very thing as IT IS NOT THAT GOOD as it seems to be here. Obviously as most of the people here have given the POSITIVE answer, you might not even think about it, however, just try cutting off the TOUCHING thing by politely saying him - that you don't like it.

-- If you want to commit/love etc., see if he remains the same when you resist him from touching your bodyor giving explicit signals. Stay friends with him, spend time obviously but try watching him in details - HIS expressions when you resist etc.. You'll definitely get to know.

[Asker]

I'm really glad you were honest! You have given me a new perspective on the situation. I think I'm going to try being more forceful when he touches me in some way. In any way, shape, or form I do not want to just be physical with him. As soon as I see him again, I'm going to try to figure that out. That day there was no way I was going to give in that day to lay with him or any other day for that matter. I'll stay friends with him for now, but if he goes further with the touching that will be it for me. I'm kinda irritated that he would do that when he must trust me somewhat. I know that he seems a little mistrustful of people because he thinks that everytime he becomes friends with someone that they want something from him. It was just weird because he started to talk about himself on a really personal level. He confuses me so much, he told me he enjoys spending time with me (that was when we were walking around campus). I'm also not sure why he cares if something he does is a turnoff

[Asker]

Or he wanted me to know that unlike the character on tv that he thinks is similar to his life, he does not sleep around. I don't understand why he would risk the friendship.

[heart_beat]

Well, I'll tel you one thing about guys. Every guy is different but you know the common statement many girls say for we Boys like - 'All Men are the same', which does not apply to everyone. How is it related to your question?

If he really likes you or loves you or has TRUE (Genuine) feelings for you, he would not at all mind to your resistance for the Touching part. This is what makes guys different from all the others. A real guy would respect you, your feelings, would make sure to not do those things which make YOU feel uncomfortable (well, it should be on his own like - I am sorry if you feel offended; I won't do it anymore).

-- I don't want to emphasize on this part but I dont know why I have some strange feeling upon reading your thread as NO REAL guy would go this intimate ( YES, it is intimate as he crossed a certain zone) even though he SUPER likes you without your consent. Now, it is different if he gets mixed signals from you which makes him go this far (Should not

[heart_beat]

(Should not be the case here at all; just a point).

POSITIVE about HIM.

-- He said he likes spending time with you - A very good thing here (Indicates a lot of interest in you).
-- He watches ur Facial xpressions etc. -- Still a good sign :)
-- Being Shy is okay, nothing to worry about. He will surely open up to you since shy guys tend to open up only with those they feel comfortbale and secured with.

So, I am pretty optimistic that if he does not react too much to the touching thing if you stop him and continue to be friends and get to know about each other in deeeetailss :), it should surely GO A LONG WAY :)

Last thing - Girls' intuitions are really stronger, you just need to identify it, see if it fits in and trust your heart. It does have an effect :)

Anything else you need to share about him or any other feeling/emotion related thing, share it here or u can even message me, I'll try my best to gather all possible facts to help you :)

[Asker]

Honestly, you have really helped me a lot. I do have to say in the past a couple times when he touched me in some way and I got irritated, he did stop. With the hugging and stuff I don't mind so much because I feel like that's pretty normal. I know he likes to tease and mimic me a lot. The part I don't get is why he wanted to know if I was scared of him, he asked this even before I was watching the movie on the bed with him and said I could pull up a chair if I wanted. The next time I saw him is when he mentioned me making a weird facial expression and then stood really close in front of me and asked if he scared me. I do feel deep down that I can trust him. I feel like if sex was the absolute only thing he wanted, he wouldn't attempt to even tell me more personal stuff about himself. I'm not ruling it out though completely, I think I need to be a little wary of him. I think he is a little weird in general because people have come up to me in the dorm and have mentioned that

[Asker]

He is really cool, but also really weird. He calls himself and introvert, but when I have watched him around people he seems to be really outgoing. I did notice the last time I hung out with him that he was asking for my opinion on some different things. I at least feel like he trusts me.

[Asker]

He is a little weird, I swear he remembers every text message I have ever sent him. Last thing that he made me unsure about, he brought up this text that I had sent him when I really frustrated at him when we were studying and I was trying to help him. I had said that I had felt stupid for liking him and this argument had taken place at least a week before. I had apologized to him for saying that and some other things. I didn't understand why he brought it up again. I realize I was being stupid; I should never had said it. I don't understand why it still bothered him more than a week later. Sorry for all the long messages.

[heart_beat]

Hi! Can i know if u find something wrong in my messages or a feeling that says it ain't a corrrect response. Be frank!

[Asker]

Yeah, I can. I think you are mostly correct and have made some good assumptions. The only thing that I can say is that while my friend acted kinda weird these past times that we have hung out, I can't say that he got intimate all of a sudden. Even sense I met him, he always was a little bit touchy-feely nothing that crossed the line though. As I have known him these past five months, the touching kinda changed. That is the only part I don't agree with completely, but it is your opinion and i respect that.

[Gabe_Legend]

Obviously, he's into you. The cold hard truth is, it is difficult for guys to have female "friends." Because attraction and sex and feelings are all rolled up together and it is difficult to separate them. For a guy, he has basically sent you the equivalent of a giant sign reading "HI I LIKE YOU ROMANTICALLY, DO YOU LIKE ME THAT WAY TOO?". If you like him in that way, then kiss him or something, and if you don't, tell him that you aren't into him like that. It will probably ruin your friendship and break his heart, but he will be a lot more heartbroken if you wait and tell him weeks or months from now when he makes his move.

[Asker]

The thing is I started out being friends and then I ended up liking him as more then one. Before exams I had told him that I liked him and I guess I figured that maybe he just wanted to be friends and that is what I was attempting to do.

[Gabe_Legend]

@emmabee11

That's just stupid. Just because a guy touches a girl doesn't mean he's creepy. You need to learn what creepy behavior is and isn't before you start spreading that garbage to other impressionable people. Here are some helpful hints.

THINGS THAT ARE CREEPY

Watching you through your window or hanging out outside your work
Following you, trying to be sneaky
Continuing to touch after you have asked him to stop or have made it clear you aren't interested
Continuing to pursue you recklessly after you have turned him down for a date
Trying to move way too fast, meet your friends, call your parents for a chat with your phone etc.

@Asker: One thing - it's quite possible that he's using your interest in him to "get some." Depends upon what kind of guy he is. I would avoid sex until you find out for sure what his intentions are, but to me it sounds as if he's trying to find a way to let you know he wants to take it to the next level, so ask him on a date or kiss him.

[Asker]

I was definitely going to avoid sex with him till I figure what his intentions are. I realize that's what some guys are just after and nothing else. I don't get that vibe from him, but I want to make sure. Thanks for the help! I really appreciate it. I agree with what you said above to emmabee11, I don't find what he does creepy, it's a little strange for me sometimes but not where I feel like he is crossing the line. I realize that mean whether they want just sex or something more are going to think/act differently than women.

[emmabee11]

As you said moving too fast is also creepy lol this is dude IS moving too fast lol read what people say darn it lol

[drewtacular]

There is 2 options here..

1) he really likes you

or

2) he just wants sex

The real trick is that his "moves" would be the same for both instances. Guys who only want to hook up are going to tell you and do things that they think you want to hear. They will tell you that they really like you and how pretty you are etc.. just like what he would say and do if he really did like you.

There is only one way for you to find out.. You are young you are going to get burned at some point in your life.. its going to happen.. it has happened to pretty much everyone.. welcome to dating..

Now with that being said.. him taking time to become friends with you first and then try to hook up for a one night stand pretty unlikely. that is a lot of time to put in for a quick hookup.

Try dating.. and if he wants to go farther tell him you want to take it slow.. if he sticks around he probubly likes you.. if he bails then you know

[Asker]

Thank you that makes a lot of sense. A long time ago I had guy friend that I knew for years and he ended up burning me a little bit. He didn't anything physical with me, but he did kinda use me. I hope this guy friend turns out to be good. I thought it did seem kind of weird that he would hook up for a one night stand when we have become pretty good friends and he is starting to tell me some more personal things. It would confuse me that you would take the chance to risk a friendship, especially when he believes that he doesn't have many friends and ones he has made in the past have used him. When I see him next week, I am going to try talking to him and see where its goes.

[DamanMannn]

He's just a weirdo, probably has good intentions but I don't see him wanting to get in bed with you at all.
he would most likely want some comfort if I had to guess. -shrugs- I was sorta like this when I was 13 years old but that was Years ago.

He seems friendly to me, maybe teach him another way to express himself towards you?

Long things are enjoyable ;) haha, Oh. I probably shouldn't say this, people might think weird of me.
( WAY TO SET THE EXAMPLE ) ... aaaaaand I'm gone~. #southpark

[Asker]

Thats what I think sometimes, that he is a little weird. That makes me feel better that he might not just be trying to get into bed. On the outside he could talk to anyone, but in reality he likes to be alone and do his own thing. I wonder if that not really hanging out with people a lot makes him unsure of how to express himself with anything. I might try finding a way to teach him, but only after he opens up more about himself. I have feeling he might shut himself up again. He hides most of his feelings behind jokes. He was telling me something serious and he was laughing about it and I started to laugh because I wasn't sure. Then he told me he was serious, so yeah. Thanks for the help!

[godfatherfan]

Lets once again explain this to women...
MEN NEVER WANT TO JUST BE FRIENDS.. EVER...
only women look at a guy and think "oh he would be a great friend... yada yada..."
The only reason a guy would be friends would be to stay on your radar. This way maybe your both in a situation where your both single and boom he is in... or at least a BJ or something.
so yes he wants more.

[Asker]

I see. I would think there would cases if the guy is gay. I have a guy friend that is gay so it works.

[godfatherfan]

there are always exceptions to the rule. and of course I was only talking about straight guys

[Asker]

I figured that. Thanks for the help!

[Alex_from_mcdonalds]

I'll be straight and down the the point with you. You two friends. Yes. That can happen. But he wants more than just friendship. You can see it. Reading this i got to the point where it said he was rubing your back and stuff. If it was just your upper back and maybe the middle. Then he likes you. If he started rubbing your lower back near you butt. Then it's time for you to tell him to stop because he just wants to do it with you. Tell me if you think I helped.(:!

[Asker]

With my back, it was upper closer to my shoulder. No if he had started to rub my lower back I would have freaked out. Before exams, I had told him I liked him. I figured he just wanted to be friends and then all this stuff happened after we finished our exams. I think you helped me a lot!

[Strider90]

I didn't even read the whole thread. I've said it many times that there is no such thing as 'friendship' between girls and guys. This is just a fantasy girls have. Most guys realise it can't be true. Are you convinced now that he fell for you? Do you have sex? If not, make the offer. You'll see how quick he'll be ready to shove in you.

[Asker]

I think I'm at least convinced that he is attracted to me. I do believe in some cases guys and girls can be friends. I have one guy friend that happens to be gay so it works and another friend where I know we are not attracted to each other. We are both platonic.

[QuiteCurious]

What if a guy had a girlfriend that he really loves yet still has other friends that are girls? He's not gonna be allergic to the girls just because "friendship doesn't exist between guys and girls" no?

[RockStar2611]

He's really into you but doesn't have the courage to tell you. Tell him that your friend is setting you up on a blind date and see his reaction. If he's inquisitive about who they're setting you up with - he's into you. This may also push him to ask you out. Note: once your out of the friend zone and then it doesn't work out; you will most likely lose your partner and your friend. Good luck!

[Turtleluv]

Or it may push him away if he's already shy. Don't play games and try making a guy compete for you. If he's already shy and insecure he might just give up if he finds out you're going on a date.

[RockStar2611]

That didn't happen with my husband. We've been together for 10 years. I think sometimes you have to push men to do the right thing. You can never "lose" a man that loves you - he will always be there.

[dav123]

Playing mind games is a bad idea - I can almost guarantee the blind date idea will kill this romance in his mind as he will assume she's not interested, as it is she has sent mixed signals, he will feel played and confused. She should just talk to the guy. If they can't even talk about *basics* like whether or not they want to maybe go out together romantically without resorting to such elaborate mind game manipulations then there isn't hope for a relationship, you need to be able to basically communicate with the other person. There's no magic to it, just talk with each other, ask questions, try understand one another as if close friends. If you can get that right you're halfway to a solid foundation for a long-term relationship.

[Asker]

At one point I did tell him that I liked him, but then because of exams I kinda just left it. I was just trying to be a friend to him. I'm not sure if saying someone is sitting me up on a blind date would work. I also kinda think he is a little bit insecure and kinda thinks that people become friends with him and then use him. I just hoping that he really isn't just after a hookup.

[Asker]

I don't really think doing the blind date thing is good, especially with how he feels about people in general. I think I already messed with his head a little bit. During exam time we were studying for long hours together for this exam and he started to go a little crazy. I got angry at him and I ended up saying that I felt stupid for liking him. I apologized and so did he and then after exams during these times when we were hanging out, he did bring it up again. I should never had said, but he had hurt my feelings pretty bad when I was just trying to help him and I told him that I didnt/never meant it. I'm thinking maybe I'll talk to him next week.

[Foxxpaw]

He reaaally liiiikes you heee waaants tooo hoooold yooou he waaaants to kiiiiissss yoouuuu hee waants to loooooovvveee yooouuuu xD

[Asker]

I hope so!

[koolferskool]

Yeah he definitely wants to take it to the next level. I mean you guys have never had sex so it could just be a curiosity thing but if it is that he wants to be in a relationship with you then if you want dont be afraid to explore that. It could be fun dating a friend.

[Asker]

Thanks for the help! I'm going to talk about it when I see him next week.

[alenx619]

he is attracted to you but maybe he doesn't want to put himself out there for you to reject him and maybe you dont want to get rejected either so when he shows interest you should too.

[Asker]

Thanks! I really appreciate the help!

[CaribbeanGuy]

In my opinion as a guy, he is beginning to fall in love with you the more time he spends with you, which isn't bad if the feelings are mutual, but can be catastrophic for the friendship if the feelings are not mutual. It maybe a good idea to have a good talk about the situation and clear up any misconceptions.

[tessababy88]

Agree he sounds really into you

[Asker]

I think there needs to be a talk, there was sorta of a talk but it happened a day before exams. Also right before exams I told him I liked him. Mainly it was him saying how stressed out he was and he couldn't even think about dating or anything else till we were done with exams. I was just attempting to be friends with him. When I see him next week, I'm going to try to talk about it with him. Thanks for the help! I really appreciate it.

[Hawkeye6736]

I would say he's developing a crush for you at least. He seems to be doing the whole 'overly nice' thing and trying to make more body contact than you would normally have.

[Asker]

Thanks for the help! I really appreciate it!

[booklovergirl25]

Oh Gosh.. how could u be confused. . he is hitting all over u.. he likes u dude!! If u like him, reciprocate!!

[Asker]

I guess I'm worried like the guy said above that maybe he just wants a hookup or something like that. I know that he did share some more personal things about himself, but I don't know.

[booklovergirl25]

He doesn't see u as a frd.. it's clear he thinks of u sexually.. his gestures r a clear indication of this.. I can't say if he is just looking for a hookup or it's something deeper.. y don't u ask him upfront if he likes u, then he will have to confess his feelings.. once u guys start dating, take your good time to know what he is really looking for.. don't judge him based on what he says because guys always say things girls like to hear.. judge his intentions on his actions.. if he is caring n loving enough. . if he is willing to
give u both time to understand ur relationship better if u get into one!!

[Asker]

Thanks! I think when I see him next week, I'm going to figure out where we stand. I guess at least I have figured out that he is attracted to me. I'll try to judge him more by what he does than says.

[booklovergirl25]

Keep me updated.. good luck :)

[Sattymike]

Agree with the consensus here, he's clearly interested in getting out of the friend zone. Guy wants sex, maybe a relationship also but... Gotta start somewhere.

[Asker]

That's good to know that he probably wants to get out of the friend zone. Thanks for your help!

[lola-butterfly]

i think this could turn into a beautifull love story
clearly he desires and also admires you on the speritaly side
i think this could work out for you guys

[Asker]

Thanks for the help!

[armleg]

"Then he said that he likes spending time with me and asked if I wanted to hang out for awhile. Clearly that's being a good friend." Oh, honey.

[M_A_X]

You've got better eyes than she does, apparently

[Asker]

Thanks for your help! I really appreciate it!

[breastman69]

OMG its pretty clear that he wants to take the friendship to the next level & make U his GirlFriend. He has give U every clue he could to tell U he wants to the two of U to b e more than just friends Silly Girl.

[Asker]

Yeah I'm really bad at seeing how a guy feels. I guess I just thought that maybe he just wanted to be friends and I was trying to be that way. Before exam time I had told him I liked him in a more than friend way and I didn't push it, so I was just trying to be friends with him instead. Thanks!

[Asker]

I hope it's his girlfriend and not just a hookup or something like that.

[emmabee11]

That isn't what he's after... he was clearly tempting her to have sex by touching her... you don't just touch people like that without permission, that's just really creepy... i mean what guy gets THAT physcial with a girl THAT fast and doesn't even ask? he's not treating her like much of a lady at all... most girls would seriously run out of there the second he starts rubbing the their back... lol especially he part he leans on there shoulder lol i'm not suprised she's freaked out by this... we all would be...

[BiggsyDaBoss]

@emmabee11
Stop with the feminist poison Kool Aid nonsense. In men romantic desire & sexual desire are intertwined. Just because he's touching her, in a very emotive manner. Does not mean he's a creep or his behaviour is creepy.

Seriously you are between the ages of 18 & 24, you are female. Your understanding on male emotional expressive behaviour is going to be limited.

[luvme56]

Frndships lead to relationships... if you see him as a frnd tell him to stop it if you can dig your feelings for him ask him out on a date!

[Aleera]

No, friendships don't always lead to relationships!! I've been friends with my guy friend for 6years now. Everything is smooth...

[luvme56]

@Aleera... okay then forgot to add "most"
Thanks!

[Aleera]

Seems legit... ;-)

[Asker]

I know what you mean, i've other guy friends that I have been friends with for a while.

[luvme56]

"for a while"?

[Asker]

My other guy friends I met in high school, so around 5/6 years.

[notmama546]

he likes u and his semi passive aggressive but still obvious attempts show that he's scared if u like him back- kiss him and everything will work out -- good luck!!

[Asker]

Thanks for the help! I really appreciate it. He does know I like him or at least he did when I told him before exams.