Why hasn't he set a date yet?

[Anonymous]

So he proposed to me 9 months ago. He's a fireman and has like over $80k in the bank I out of work at the moment because I'm healing from Covid. He said he was waiting on me to make more money and get into my career, which I have. Don't have as much as he has. Now he's saying he wants dogecoin to "pop off" so we'll both be good. I don't know when that'll happen and crypto is unpredictable. I understand he wants me to help out with bills too but I'm ready to set a date. We said by the end of this year or early next year but no specific date and I'm tired of waiting around. I'm ready to move on with my life.

[MAC1983]

I know this will be misunderstood but if I understand correctly you are engaged to marry, he has some money aside, you got unlucky and got fired when you got COVID-19, but got back on the job market, although you don't make as much a year as him.

And now he's saying the wedding date depends on a blockchain currency taking off... Which, as you say, is utterly unpredictable.

What kind of wedding do you, both, want? And do you still want it? I've heard of some people that hindered their first years together because they were set, or pressured by peers, on the idea of a big, or fairy tale, wedding.

If you want, you can get married in a civil court and have that reception when you can, later. We're still in a pandemic, and some countries don't even allow big weddings, still. Perfect excuse.

Are you already living together? Do you share expenses otherwise? There's not a lot to go on from your question.

I think a bit of communication is in order. Because if this big wedding is making you give up on the relationship you both need to talk.

(Marridge is not what makes you start your life together, sharing your lives everyday is.)

[Asker]

We live separately, I would like to live together. We want a nice wedding, doesn't have to be expensive. I just wanna get married

[MAC1983]

That is another point, you don't need a formal wedding to be married and start your life together. I understand your feeling, though.

I think might want to consider living together for a bit. Even if for a few days or weeks. You are already engaged, who could blame you for trying things out?

It would give you hints at what married life would be like.

Like others answers pointed out, you have some things to figure out, and it could help you make a more informed decision.

[Asker]

To me it doesn't matter if we get married at the courthouse or formal wedding. I just want a date set and figure out the rest later.

[Dragonstarterplus]

Because usually women do that. What are you contributing financially to this entire ordeal? Like if you're tired of waiting around, how about get up and do something?

[Asker]

I have, I don't know why I'd have to be the only one to contribute.

[Dragonstarterplus]

You don't have to be the only contributor but way your question was worded it seemed likeyou were contributing nothing. "He has this much money, I'm not onna mention how much I have. I have no job because I got Covid (which doesn't make much sense), I'm ready to set the date but there's no date set yet", etc

[Asker]

Don't have to mention how much I have, but I'd like to set a date

[LindsayLesling]

I will say this to you. The younger people get married; usually the more divorces you will see. This is research. But I know a lot of people who got married at 26. I don't know what age you are exactly. It sounds like he definitely has his reservations. Usually when a guy drags his feet; he has having hesitancy or second thoughts about SOMETHING. You need to ask him why he has been dragging his feet. It sounds like finances might be a concern to him. He may want you to be making some more money before entering a marraige. Maybe he is getting cold feet. You need to communicate with him and ask him to be honest. Then adjust your plans accordingly. Does he want you to get another job or a higher paying job? There is something that he doesn't seem to be saying.

[Asker]

He said he wanted me to make more money, now he said he wanted his crypto to take off. I feel he has enough money so we can start planning and I can help soon.

[Dragonstarterplus]

"I feel HE has enough money so WE can start planning..."

Yeah like see I'm seeing this way of thinking from Asker everywhere. Like guys already are hesitant to want to get married, so I think this notion of "he should put up the money and plan everything as well, and I'll help soon" probably isn't helping

[Gingerguy33]

I feel like he should’ve waited for this stuff to happen before he proposed to you.. because when you propose to someone your saying that your gonna love them forever no matter what pretty much

[Asker]

Doge is unpredictable, I don't know when it'll "go to the moon" if he's stalling then he should've waited.

[Gingerguy33]

It is.. and you don’t even know if it ever will and I think he’s stalling also but the thing is he would’ve knew your money situation before proposing so why he’s still propose makes no sense to me at all

[Asker]

Me either

[boggboss]

Wait sorry what money do u have towards the wedding sorry

[Asker]

Nothing at the moment

[boggboss]

So how are u looking to plan a date if u have noting to contribute

[Asker]

I thought you meant money we put towards the wedding, I have money coming in. I saved some.

[boggboss]

Thats why I'm asking as him delying seems like it's because of financial reasons

[boggboss]

As it seems he dont want to spend money until there is garnuties u will have money or he has enough so even if your money dont come in he can do it