Would you be in a relationship with someone that doesn't know whether they want kids or not?

[Hairylegs222]

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the responses. Main reason why I posted this is because a woman I'm currently talking to doesn't know whether she wants kids or not.

[DaveJord]

Really depends on how important having kids is to you?

Would I date some one who is not sure, totally I would. Chances are they will eventually come around to the idea, and if not I would have as much fun as I could with them while I could. I would not marry anyone that does not want kids if I wanted them myself. But most people who say they are not sure means they have never been with anyone that has made them want to seriously consider it.

I have know lots of people who never waned kids, but changed their minds. I know nobody who has had kids that said they wish they didn't. And I know people who never wanted them and are glad they didn't..

[SmokyOne]

Nah it would have to be a definite yes.

I watched my best friend get strung along for 10yrs in this exact question and now that they've broken up and moved on it may be too late for his new girlfriend to even get pregnant.

It's such a major part of life that it can't be left up to maybe. Especially in women's situations being much more limited with time.

[OceanGirl21]

That sucks. Men and women are both equally limited on time if they want healthy children. Women may hit menopause in 40s but mens sperm also declines at the same rate (read up on new research in fertility). The only beneficial way around it is if the older partner has a younger partner (this applies to both genders) as it can help to counteract some of the issues, albeit not necessarily all.

[petitedollbabee]

No because I 100% do not want kids, I never have. So I wouldn’t want to be with someone who’s unsure, incase in the future they tried to pressure me into having children with them, or they break up with me because they want to find someone to have kids with. Easier to save myself the heart break by not dating guys who are unsure.

[Anonymous]

If someone wants kids, they probably won’t as you can’t gamble your life on a “maybe”. If they’re unsure themselves then they probably will as it’ll just unfold naturally over time. If they don’t then they may but it’ll crop up sooner or later and if you’re not in the same page it won’t last.

[Sonorous]

wooo baby not a chance in hell

If I ever were to get into a relationship, (which of itself very far-fetched!) it would be with someone that doesn't like stress! 🤣

And I don't believe my anti-natalism will ever change. I am doomed to having the most pure display of love. To never create or advocate for something that will inevitably suffer & die. No matter how many illusions convince us that it is a good thing to do.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Hard pass, nope. I definitely want kids. I want someone who wants the same.

[Chlo3_2001]

I would be open to someone who was unsure but leaning towards no. I don't want kids. I love and adore them but I don't want to be a mother in any way so ideally I'd seek out a partner with those views. If he is genuinely on the fence then best to not proceed with something serious unless they really know what they want. That way there's no resentment on either end.

[kingykringy]

I’m unsure leaning towards no

[RobT312]

I have never seen that as an issue. I guess when I was dating and looking for a relationship I didn’t care about the kids conversation.

so, in my 20s dating that was never a factor.
if I were dating now it may be a factor. I’m having that urge for kids and starting a family I guess

[NorthAfrican]

Honestly this sounds incredibly stupid.
What's the plan? You date them for 2, 5, 10 years until you realize you want different things and life and break up/ divorce?

[Drumlin2001]

If I were single I'm entering the market as a father of 2 with no plans for any more (step kids are fine, just no more babies for me). They would gave to be on same page or potentially wasting our time. Could casually date someone undecided for a little bit

[Dargil]

I want them and she would know it. Although unstated, I would give her time to decide but I would not commit until I got a yes and at some point, I would see myself out no matter how good the sex was.

[Anonymous]

I m 19 and i want kids when i m maybe 26 years old. Better to know early before its to late.

I dont wanna wait till I m 50 years old with frosen eggs.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Nope. That's something that I won't compromise on. Tho I'm pretty sure I'm done with relationships and will be getting donor sperm. But that's a topic that is always talked about early because both parties need to be on the same page.

[Cherry234]

Maybe. I could be with a man that would be okay with either having children or choosing to live a child-free life. I don't want to be with a man who's going to pressure me to have children.

[Buntyp]

No. Not knowing what you want, especially on something as serious as that, doesn't sound stable enough to go forward with. Better a solid yes or no, that you can rely on.

[Adam1978]

I think that is an age thing, right now I don't think it's worth the hazzle of a long relationship if there isn't going to be something lasting out of it like kids.

[Slartybartfast]

Before I got married we talked about children. I wanted several , she wasn't sure she wanted any. ..

We never had children but I heard she had twins with the guy she left me for.

[hardboiledink]

No, if she doesn't want kids all that sex amounts to NOTHING! You know that sex is orginally for having kids not just for pleasure right? Hedonism is not as real as the natural process of having kids

[exitseven]

I was not really sold on the idea of having kids. My position was that I did not NOT want to have kids. If we did not have any it would not have been the end of the world for me.

[Phoenix98]

Probably not because if it turns out they don’t well that’s a deal breaker for me.

which means I’ve wastes a lot of time I could have otherwise saved.

[Seinna]

That's a hard pass, I want children. In fact I probably wouldn't care about seeking out a partner if not for them, I'm quite comfortable by myself.

[Baredog69]

If I found she wanted kids I would be gone like a ghost. Poof!!!

[007kingifrit]

how can you have a long term relationship if you don't know what you want... LONGTERM

[marish01]

I will have romantic and sexual relationships only with one person. And that person should be my spouse.

Can you guess if I am straight and if I want to have kids?