If you aren't ready for kids, would you date someone that does have kids and help raise them?

[Ginger1907]

[Finchie40]

It depends on how good she is to me , and how much she makes me her priority , you should never expect someone to help raise your kids cuz they aren’t his or her kids , if you depend on someone else to raise your kids then that relationship will not last cuz the parent is being selfish and only really thinking of themselves , I am a single father and I won’t let a girl meet my kids until I feel she is the one , I make it clear to her that my kids are my responsibility and not hers , I don’t force my kids onto anyone , luckily my kids are older now so they are pretty much on their own but when my kids needed me the most I didn’t date and I focused on them , so yes I would date a girl that has kids but just as long as she doesn’t expect me to raise them , and expect me to take place as their father , if he isn’t in the picture then I might help her a little more but I’ll just be their friend and treat them with kindness and respect and give to them out of the kindness of my heart as long as they are cool with me, but if I feel she is using me and depending on me to take care of them , my ass is gone. Kids can damage relationships sadly , even with a biological mother and father , we love our kids to death but they can damage your relationship with your spouse when a parent makes their kids a priority over their spouse that relationship is more than likely doomed , kids can get in the way of your relationship by causing drama and making the parents point fingers at each other for the way they are acting and behaving , It’s your fault they are acting that way , you aren’t a man you aren’t a good father etc.. that sort of shit happens a lot and why a lot of divorces occur , when you can’t make your spouse your priority over your kids be prepared for a doomed marriage or a relationship Your kids are their own people and will make a lot of stupid choices like we did as teenagers , sometimes worse , but when they come between you and your partner you need to put a stop to it and focus on your partner over your kids , Most people do not do that and end up hating each other and blaming each other and that’s when cheating and affairs occur , I was a step father for my exes kid and my ex is also the mother of my kids , My ex put my step daughter on a higher pedestal over our children together and it pissed me off for the longest time and her and I would butt heads over it a lot until she realized what she was doing was wrong, Being a step parent is not easy it isn’t the same love as the love of your own child. So you can’t expect a step parent to feel the same as you. It isn’t their kid and a step kid will not love their step parent the same as their biological parent , the step kid will always take sides with their biological parent just the way it goes

[Citizenkirk]

Yes. I am not legally the father of my ex-girlfriend's adult children, but have been their for them like a father figure should be. They call me dad, and I try to live up too that honored honorific designation. They were in their late teens when we met and we're disappointed that their mom and I didn't tie the not and give them a baby brother or sister too hang out with.

[Commander_Red]

No. I think that's a lot of pressure, and no matter how much I would love the child's father, the child deserves someone who is prepared to take care of a child.

[Desconhecida]

Yes. It would be a great way to get used to it. If the person was worth it, of course.

[Kaamraj]

If a man is not ready for kids than it's the worst position for him to date a woman with kids and spend; attention, time and money (ATM) into raising them. Because forget that the courts can pass judgement of childcare because the man spend paternal time with the child. But spending resources without genetic investment is foolish.

[FinalFantasyBro]

Logically no, I honestly don't have any problems with single moms but if I don't want any children it won't make any sense to put myself in a situation where I might be playing stepfather for another person children. There are a lot of single women who haven't gotten pregnant and isn't being a mother.

[Anonymous]

My wife had 1 kid. When i met her,
she was a single mom,
And i raise that kid like he's my own son. No difference.

I stepped into a pre made family.
She had 1 kid with her ex.

And she's currently pregnant with my kid now.


Her ex was abusive and she had to get away from him,
Her son, never knew his real dad,
Im the only father he ever knew or loved,
and im in it forever now.

[Qdbrown]

Single moms are very off limits. The only exception is if the father died. Estranged, divorce and incarceration don't count. That kid needs to know his father. And fathers often try to come back into the picture later on.

[kyleelyn199723]

No because it wouldn’t make any sense for me to do something I am not ready for. Plenty of single men out there that don’t have kids

[petitedollbabee]

No. Why would I date someone with kids, whom I would have to help raise, if I don’t want kids myself. Makes no sense.

[AdithyaR]

My entire decision of not wanting kids is based off my belief that I cannot be a good father. So me helping a single parent raise their kids would be a horrible decision for the sake of the kids. So nope, I wouldn't do that.

[exitseven]

No, getting emotionally invested in somebody else's kids is a bad idea. They are little people not training wheels for future parents.

[Heartache0405]

I don't want any kids and I'd prefer not to raise anyone else's. That's just my personal preference

[Waldoe]

if I am NOT ready for kids... that would include ALL kids

[awkward_author]

Probably not. If I’m not ready for kids, that means I’m not in a “good place” to be a parent/caregiver at all.

[Anonymous]

Not unless my intent was to stay with her. It's not right for kids to have adults coming in and out of their lives. Kids need stability. And you have to approach a single mom with caution. There's typically a reason she's a single mom.

[LivingExample]

I do not know what you mean by “aren’t ready for kids, but Kids get Attached very Easily. If you are not planning on staying around you should Not date someone with kids!

[Jintendo18]

I wouldn’t date someone with kids period. It’s not my job to raise someone else’s kids.

[AndrésC64]

Nope. I don't want kids and I certainly don't want somebody else's kids.

[bamesjond0069]

No thanks. I don't get with single moms. They aren't good to date under any circumstances really.

[Alwayreckles93]

How come? I mean older woman with kids make excellent wife's. Unlike 29 year old young woman they can't clean or make a fresh cook home meal.

[Alwayreckles93]

I meant 20 year old woman

[bamesjond0069]

@Alwayreckles93 never had that problem my girlfriend is only 19 and she cooks and cleans way more than most older women I've dated.

[Anonymous]

If they’re not ready to have kids then they’re NOT ready to be with someone who HAS kids. Simple.

[Dora89]

It depend if the kid well behaved if I was into that person.

[DevinAM]

I don't know if I'm fully ready, but I do want them.

[Anonymous]

No. Single mothers are one of the 5 types of females a guy should never date.